I hate my sister, but for good reasons, I think.
One, she abandonded her two beautiful children to me and our mom. Which really interfers with our lives, but we are happy we got them instead of them going to foster care.
Two, she steals from everyone in the family, even our grandmother who is sick. And she'll steal while looking you right in the face.
Three, she acts as if she doesn't know the english language. She uses too much slang, and that is something I can't stand when anyone does it.
Four, she got a credit card in my mom's name and bought a lot of stuff for her friends, almost 10,000 dollars worth of stuff, and now my mom can barely pay her own bills. And not only did all these friends abandon her, but she seems to feel no guilt over putting our mother in such a bad situation.
Five, she won't get a job to support herself or her children, even though she has an amazing resume' and could get pretty much any job she wants.
More reasons, but I don't have enough room here.
2006-12-01 22:58:10 · 15 answers · asked by Oui_Fleur 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
And it's not that I want to hate her, because deep down I love her, but I can't help it.
2006-12-01 22:58:57 · update #1
My sister is 26, older then me because I'm about to be nineteen.
And I have told her that she needs to get herself together, but she doesn't listen and the only reason she's in my life is because my mom won't just cut her loose and make her come to her senses on her own.
2006-12-01 23:06:57 · update #2
And, yeah, I am hurt by her. I mean, it's just I hate seeing her causing pain to others and such. I mean, she may have a mental problem, but I know she won't get help for it because we've already talked ot her about it and she refuses. She may be in denial or something.
She thinks that we should support her, and her lifestyle, but it's not going to happen. I mean, she's told people that I've hated her since I was little, but it's not the truth. We used to be really close, until she turned sixteen and started just acting out and being completely different. I don't know if something happened to her or what, but it's just too much.
2006-12-01 23:29:32 · update #3
Diane, she has been to jail a few times for the stuff she's done. It obviously hasn't done anything.
And I do believe that my mom was pretty wrong for not pressing charges because maybe it would have made my sister see what she did was wrong.
And I didn't say the children are a burden, it's just that she did it so suddenly and I had to quit my job to help out at home with the children. I love my niece and nephew and would rather they be with me then their mother.
And we don't deny her seeing her children, even though we have been thinking about it because she seems to cause the children a bit of destress because of her coming and then staying away for weeks. And her saying that she wishes she never had them and such right in front of them.
And it's hard just cutting off a family memeber.
2006-12-01 23:41:36 · update #4
dumpllin, I understand exactly what your saying. Hopefully, soon, I'll be able to just detach from her and stop even worrying about her or what she does.
2006-12-01 23:44:26 · update #5
I think what I hear you saying is you hate your sister's behavior, not her. You also may resent that you are so young and somewhat saddled with your "older" sister's kids. You don't have the freedom she does, and you don't deserve the treatment. Sounds like she would be a terrible mother though, at least right now. Your in a tough situation, but an admiral one. Don't enable her. Don't let her see the kids unless she is clean and sober. It's the behavior that needs to change. Quit enabling her, tell your mom to stop enabling her. If she steals, she probably has a drug problem. The ends are always the same for drug addicts, jails, institutions and death. And even though you love the kids, don't ever talk badly about her to her kids because that always backfires eventually. Let them make up their own minds. Apply for probate guardianship of the children, and keep it out of juvenile dependancy court CPS will take them as fast as you can say oh crap. Good luck, make sure you take care of yourself through all of this and remember, hate stunts spiritual growth, so love your sister regardless of her behavior, and don't enable her.
2006-12-02 00:23:14 · answer #1 · answered by Teresa O 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I can well understand that you're furious with your sister and that may feel like hate. It sounds as though she's using people and doesnt behave like an adult. She doesnt show any sign of responsibiltiy, just like a little child. I'm so glad that you guys look after her kids, thats so generous and kind of you, and best for the kids! May be their Mom could start some kind of therapy and learn to become more adult and responsible. Perhaps, she has a mental health problem, which can be treated. Most importantly, please don't take any of her actions personally; she does it to anyone. I really hope she'll get some help soon. May be get in touch with your GP and ask her/him to talk to her. Wishing you all the best, also for your sister! God bless! Gini
2006-12-01 23:07:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
sounds like your sister has psychological problems, doesn't excuse her bad judgment and decisions though. i think that the most important relationships in your life are not those with your family members because you're basically stuck with having them as family, you never choose them. if your sister was not related to you, i'm sure you would have cut her out of your life long ago. alas, you're stuck with having her in your life, not just because she's your sister but more importantly because you are raising her children. best thing to do is to try to make the best of it. i'm not saying you shouldn't have some hostility towards her though, maybe it will get her to realize that she is doing something wrong. and with that maybe she'll get help.
2006-12-01 23:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No do no longer hate your sister, be mad along with her specific, yet no longer hate. consult from her and tell her the form you sense, say that she desires to be uncomplicated along with her boyfriend, that what she is doing isn't sturdy, the possibility of them staying mutually replaced into quite small i might think of, if purely as a results of fact they are the two (it might look) very youthful. tell her if she does no longer care approximately his emotions, maybe she could evaluate yours!!! tell her 2 wrongs do no longer make a ideal!!! sturdy success
2016-10-17 14:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the sinner we hate it's the sinning.It's hard to be there for a loved one when they treat you so badly.but it's also hard to not be there for them as well.There does come a time when your family will have to take drastic moves against her to protect yourselves and to let her experience the results of her choices.Legally go any route you can to keep the kids and get a restraining order against her. Allow visiting time legally for her with the kids.but cut her off from just coming and going.As long as you guys keep allowing her to cause harm,she will and it's up to you all to keep those kids safe.She will never change her ways if she doesn't have to and if you all just allow her to do whatever she wants, then you all will get what you allow to happen.
2006-12-01 23:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by punkin 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
ONE your mother has to take responsibility for her her own credit issue. your sister stole her indented, but mom is saying its OK since she has not pressed charges. and yes she is before you start arguing. Mom needs to have her arrested and charged for the theft.
TWO the children may not be in the best place if you feel they are a burden to you. they need unconditional love. they need to feel safe and wanted.
THREE if your sister is stealing then you need to not invite her inside the house. and report her for stealing.
FOUR you people are not helping her by allowing her to continue stealing and doing nothing about it.
FIVE forgive her for what she has done once you have stopped being a crutch for her. she does because she is allowed to continue her ways. if you had her arrested and maybe then she might learn that their are consequences to her actions.
2006-12-01 23:31:13 · answer #6 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Despite all the things your sister has done, hating does nothing but destroy the person who is hating. Do you really want to give her that kind of power over you? When you hate you are not hurting her you are hurting you
2006-12-01 23:34:21 · answer #7 · answered by dumpllin 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
your sister really need to sit down and look at the situation and see all her mistaken and what she is doing to her children and i really glad you and your mom have them because they are innocent your sister is dealing with something that you and your mother do not know about take her to a doctor to examine her mine good luck
2006-12-02 00:02:51 · answer #8 · answered by Summer G 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can feel your pain, I too hate my sister. The hate that you and I experience was first, born from being hurt by someone you love. When it happens over and over again, the hurt turns to hate. You are not wrong for hating her, she's still hurting you.
2006-12-01 23:20:33 · answer #9 · answered by Kerry 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
it sounds like your family needs to let her live her life by herself and 1 day she will look back and see how she screwed things up
2006-12-01 23:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by sonoftazont 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋