'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my *** for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat *** and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!
2006-12-01 22:21:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I reckon parents everywhere will identify with this, Excellent!!
2006-12-02 02:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by Cowboy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He Obviously Never Read The Escape Claus, Watch The Movie And You Will See Jack Frost It Chris Kringle In Santa Claus3.
2006-12-01 22:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by Paul R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats funny - especially about kids wanting computers and robots.........
Some want really expensive items that some parents struggle to get them and end up paying for, for many months.
Hope everyone out there has a lovely time.......
x
2006-12-01 22:28:04 · answer #3 · answered by mojorainbow1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha, poor Santa!
2006-12-01 22:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by doodlenatty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww poor Santa .
2006-12-01 22:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quality...9/10 lol
2006-12-01 23:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by Pickles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
roll on xmas lets all have some nuts
2006-12-02 17:41:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha lol!! Good on you Santa!!
2006-12-02 01:17:35 · answer #8 · answered by nicky_bronx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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VERY VERY NICE JOKE!!!!
2006-12-01 22:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by wizkid!!! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol nice one
2006-12-01 22:23:10 · answer #10 · answered by Nemo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋