People i really need your help on this one... My wife is from africa and Im from the states. This is the deal, myself & my wife and her sister live in the same home. Example when we are all in the same room watching a movie/news/game show, you get the point they will speak in there language. She feels, (my wife) that this is not rude what do you feel & I have told here how i feel on this matter. Heres the kicker they are from a british coloney there english is very good. Please what do you think!
Thanx 4 your time
James
2006-12-01 20:48:54 · 11 answers · asked by bmw740 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I am in and from South Africa and I speak 2 languages my daughter is in America and Southafrican as well She speaks 3 languages. I have also lived in other countries in the world including Zimbabwe - the old Rhodesia. All the countries folks believe that it is extremely rude when there are others in your company that don't speak a second and a third language and address it to one person in that same company who is able to respond. Your wife has no respect for you or the rest of the folks with her and her sister. They must practise their 'other' language when alone or with others who understand and can communicate with them
2006-12-01 20:55:15 · answer #1 · answered by tracey s 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi James,
I do understand your problem, I used to be together with a foreign man. He did the same thing in the presence of his family. Frustrating!
However, the natural bond between two sisters is so strong that you can hardly blame them for speaking in their own language. They grew up together and it would be a weird thing for them to speak to one and other in a different language.
Although their English might be perfect, it is still an unnatural sensation to speak to your own sister in a language other than what mother used to speak during your childhood.
Speaking your childhood language is a matter of comfort. An example: When I was still with my foreign man, I sometimes confusingly spoke to him in my own language -- just because I felt so comfortable with him that I forgot to "translate" my thoughts into the other language.
English is your mother's language, you feel comfortable when speaking and hearing English (how many languages do you speak?). Try to imagine what it would be like if you had to speak to your brother, parents or old friends in an other language than that.... weird feeling eh?
With this understanding in mind, you need to tell both your wife and her sister that it makes you feel uncomfortable to be left out of the conversation. And since you are sharing the house, all must be part of the communication.
But the sisters childhood bond needs a little respect also. How about asking them to patiently teach you some of their language? And you patiently trying to learn some of their language? Try to meet in the middle........
Good luck!
2006-12-02 00:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by Endie vB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, my mother and her sisters were from overseasand we kids grew up here in the states hardly speaking their home languagae (we could understand some, but most of the time, no). At family gtherings the air is thick with 3-4 different languages and then you'll har you name ring out in all 4 and you dont know how/who to respond! When I became a hormonal teenager, I was totally out of it one night and took it out on my favorite Aunt about speaking English only because we are Americans and that was our language. Well, the room stopped still - a pin could be heard. I thought I was going to be killed for being disrespectful to an elder as my mother walked up to me with 'that look' in her eye. Bu she held onto my chin and raised it and began to laugh, as did everyone else and the party continued. But no one spoke to me in anything except English again.
2006-12-01 20:56:57 · answer #3 · answered by miladybc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well that is inconsiderate of them. I'm a foreigner myself living in US. I easily switch from English to my native language and back. I'd probably feel strange if I had to speak English to my brother (he can speak it too) because I never spoke English to him when we were growing up. But we'd have to learn to speak English in front of relatives if our native tongue communication bothered them. It would be very weird at first. Different language is just different, no matter how fluent you are. I never write English e-mails to him even though I type 4 times faster in English now. It just wouldn't be the same. But, like I said, in front of relatives, I'd make an effort to get used to it.
Sorry I'm no help. Well just be patient with her, tell her that you feel left out.
2006-12-01 20:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why that would be frustrating, because it feels like they are purposely excluding you from joining the conversation. BUT, because they probably grew up together, it's just a natural thing - and they probably don't even think about it when they do it. I don't think they are trying to be rude.
2006-12-01 20:52:09 · answer #5 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Learn the language.
2006-12-01 23:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's just rude especially if the both speak English . They can speak there language when they are alone .
2006-12-01 20:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Learn the language that they speak
2006-12-01 20:52:13 · answer #8 · answered by The professor 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
i hate that
they might b talkin abt something that u shldnt know of..
something like a secret
tell her it annoys u
2006-12-01 21:55:30 · answer #9 · answered by 2D1iLuV 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
pimp slap the both of them and see if they think that is rude.
2006-12-01 20:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by up all night 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋