how do i reveal to my lover that iam not a virgin?

Question

i had 3 relations earlier.the first one left me with a broken heart and i also had physical relationship with him.as i moved ahead in life, i met the second guy.everything was fine till when i told him that i shared a physical relation with my previous boyfriend.he started suspecting me and made my life a hell.i had to quit him for my safety.the 3rd guy was too possesive after he heard the same thing.i dont understand when i am thoroughly loyal to a person why are they making a hell out of my past which is equally bitter and regreted by me?
now i am dating someone and fear to tell him about the last 3 relationship.but neither can i hide nor lie,what do i do?how should i present him the fact?

Answer 1

In my opinion, you have to reveal the truth. Be frank and precisely convey your exact feelings.If he really loves you, I am sure he'll understand...but make sure you do this within your initial meetings.Carrying on a relationship for a long time and then revealing important facts is like stabbing in the back.It hurts, so better get it sorted out as early as possible.All the best!

Answer 2

I read an article long back. I'm pasting it here. There's a surgical procedure. You'd be virgin again. But do you research/homework and talk to doctors first if you want to go for it. I think that'd resolve your problem once and for all. But you'll be in a catch-22 situation again to confess this too! LOL I think you're dating mediocre guys. If a person is liberal he shouldn't be bothered. Moreover you'd discuss such issues before you start going out with him.

Can you become a virgin again?

We perform expert hymen repair surgery (hymenoplasty, hymenorrhaphy) or restoration of the hymenal ring in our clean, comfortable, ultra-modern, private OB/GYN office.

The hymenal ring normally gets disrupted after a woman has had sexual intercourse or even after strenuous physical activity or tampon use. Sometimes, for cultural or other personal reasons (for example, an upcoming marriage), a woman would like to restore a more intact, tighter hymenal ring. Using a special surgical technique, we can repair and tighten the hymen to a more intact, virgin-like state in most patients. Because of a wide variation among hymenal and vaginal states, we customize the surgery to the individual needs and expectations of the patient, as are discussed during the required pre-surgical consultation and thorough gynecological examination. In most cases, the surgery is virtually undetectable after complete healing, and patients are very pleased with our final results.

Please note that this surgery is done solely for the personal benefit of the individual patient. We absolutely do not provide or condone any form of female circumcision or genital mutilation, regardless of one's cultural beliefs.

Answer 3

If you are from that oh so strict Indian culture don't tell him a thing and let him believe he is the first, the women here do it all the time. If he questions your tightness tell him you used a banana or cucumber or something to break the hymen.It really is not his business but if he is indian you have to make him believe he is the first or he will never let you live it down. Feel free to contact me if this relationship becomes to stressful.

Answer 4

Why do you want this answer from internet? You are the most experienced. You are the best one to decide.

Are u married? First of all without marriage, thinking of such things is not a good one.

You think, people answering your questions on internet are your well-wishers? No, they are all sadists.

So, please dont make private things public and unnecessarily expose your character. Why cant we think of some thing good for the society instead of corrupting the young minds.

As human beings (gods most chosen ones) dont we have any responsibility towards our society?

If yes, fine. Do something.

Otherwise, shut yourself from internet and mind your own personal & private business privately.


Sd/-
(A WELL WISHER)

Answer 5

.Ok so this may come as a shock to you but....DONT TALK ABOUT PAST RELATIONSHIPS!

Nothing ever good comes from this..you can tell funny stories or whatever but seriously this is just poor dating form. Dont ever be the one to initate the subject, and if it comes up in an inquisitive manor tell him but dont go into details like "we broke up and still f***ed , or he was really good/lously in bed." Just say something like " i was in a couple of relationships in the past but nothing serious"


Guys dont expect girls to be virgins anymore those days are over, he didnt barter you from your father for 3 goats and a plow.


( unnessisary rant)
The way marketing works nowadays they have expanded the consuming years a decade on each side so instead of 20-30 its now 10-40 this means electronics clothing food everything...and they still use the same tricks "sex sells" so now all are kids are getting their cherries popped in elementary and middle school, and we cry about it .....god bless capitalism.

Answer 6

start slow, do not rush into telling him anything as of yet. patience is a virtue. when having a physical relationship/sexual of course. just turn on your punjabi charm and screw the crap out of him. he'll know that you are not a virgin. if he asks you anything after sex about your virginity like, you're not a virgin right??? then you have the green light in telling him. he does not need to know how many dudes you were with. the past is the past, ancient history. but if you need to inform him about your history, do in a subtle way that he understand that you were hurt in the past. do not open too many doors on the subject, keep it plain and simple and he shall/should understand. if not, then move on. but remember one thing, always be yourself, be true and keep it real.

Answer 7

Why do you feel you need to tell them anything? They aren't going to tell you about their past relationships. It actually makes you sound a bit desperate really. Your giving them the wrong idea about you. And their probably wondering why your telling them all that. Don't say anything. Let him get to know you and who you are without the drama from the past. And another thing, guys don't want to hear about it anyway. They don't care about what happen to you before, they only care about what is going on between you two.

Answer 8

its not really your problem. some guys have a problem handling the fact that many women are not virgins anymore. its not really a big surprise. many guys aren't virgins either.

if they become "suspicious" or watever then they're just really not ready to be in a relationship. cuz its not like ur sleeping with anyone else while dating them.

i personally think that when that conversation comes up about relationships you can slip that in however u like. cuz eventually he'll know if ur a virgin or not. so just throw it out into the open so ur relationship is an open and communicative one.

Answer 9

simple suggestion : don't reveal !!! The hymen might break due to multiple reasons like gymnastics, exercise etc.. etc.. The male mind is still not very reciprocal to past love lifes of their woman. How does it matter to the guy if u are virgin or not ????

Answer 10

Your story suggests one thing. And it is sure that you should first find a best friend and then go slowly for that final act. Enjoy the company, get in love with each other for one - two years.
If you really want to get settled.