People i really need your help on this one... My wife is from africa and Im from the states. This is the deal, myself & my wife and her sister live in the same home. Example when we are all in the same room watching a movie/news/game show, you get the point they will speak in there language. She feels, (my wife) that this is not rude what do you feel & I have told here how i feel on this matter. Please what do you think!
Thanx 4 your time
James
2006-12-01 20:27:26 · 14 answers · asked by bmw740 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She probably feels she is keeping her language skills up by still practicing whenever she can, on the other hand she knows there are others present who cannot participate in the conversation.
'English-only' speakers tend to be intolerant of folks who are able to communicate in another language, because we are so lazy about learning languages ourselves. So, why not try hard to learn her language?
But to get back to your original point, in our culture it considered impolite to deliberately exclude people from the conversation if a more 'common' language is available. If the conversation is private, it should be conducted away from the family and TV.
2006-12-01 20:35:21 · answer #1 · answered by Bart S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is ultimately rude. They could be talking about anything and everything, including you. And it is particularly rude if they do it in a room full of people. I've been in that situation and it is very uncomfortable. Has your wife asked you to learn her language? It would be a compliment to her if you did and it would stop the secret talks between her and your sister-in-law.
2006-12-01 20:35:43 · answer #2 · answered by valducci53 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is definitely rude and disturbing. You might tell them that it is OK if they are not in the same room with you, but really the fact that they feel it necesary to talk so you don't understand -and to talk when you are trying to focus on your activity is really abusive. Do they have any respect for your needs? If only you knew what they were saying...maybe that would really be illuminating.
2006-12-01 23:59:11 · answer #3 · answered by kittykats2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not that they speak in a different language that rude. Whats rude is you are family and you are being exlcuded from the conversation. I bet you wife doesn't even realize this. Talk to her about this. Explain to her your feelings about this.
2006-12-01 23:10:41 · answer #4 · answered by redstorm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm from Africa too and the thing is, my husband don't understand my language too.
Sometimes you can only express yourself in your own words, in your own language. But i tell my husband what i tried to say. Don't get paranoid about it.
She probably doesn't realize she is doing it. Your thinking in one language, then you have to translate it into another and then say it. Sometimes you don't realize that you just say it in your own language, it just comes out. Remember every sentence she talks, had to be thought through, and sometimes its just easier to say it in your own language cause you cant be asked to try and translate and than explain and so on.
Why don't you try to learn some words in her language!
2006-12-02 00:35:51 · answer #5 · answered by Squeeza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe tell her it makes you a little uncomforatable or insecure would she mid speaking english at least when your in the room. On the other hand, you could always take up her language...get her to be your tutor!
2006-12-01 21:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not rude. You are insecure if you complain, don't you speak in your language to others?
You should learn her language. Ask her to talk to you so you can start learning it...now.
2006-12-02 01:15:34 · answer #7 · answered by Keenu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do they both know English? Maybe yr wife can translate for u. Maybe what they talk about can't b translated into English. I would feel very uncomfortable.
2006-12-01 21:03:54 · answer #8 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i believe it is rude. when people speak other languages, i think they are talking about me. they came here by choice and should learn and use our language-especially in the presence of those of us who don't speak their language.
2006-12-01 20:56:59 · answer #9 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother-in-law is Brazilian and his family would do the same even though they could speak English. I do think it is rude.
2006-12-01 20:30:27 · answer #10 · answered by Hanky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋