For Christians: What does forgiveness mean?

Question

My mother, a devout, 'perfect' Christian does not know how to let things go. She will 'forgive' someone, but still holds on to it. For example, a couple at our church said some things and left the church for a short period of time. They came back with apologies and my mother 'forgave' them, but will not talk to this couple at all. She sees them coming and nearly runs away to not have to talk to them. When we forgive someone, doesn't that mean that we forget and move on? If God held everything against me that He's forgiven me for, why would I need to ask forgiveness? To fully recieve forgiveness I believe we must be able to forgive others. I am worried for my mother. I tried talking to her about this and she told me not to put my nose where it didn't belong. It's not like I am her 7 year old child any longer. I am 20 years old and having a real concern for her. I am right in believing that she needs to forgive and not hold things against people, even after 'forgiving' them?

I know she isn't perfect. I meant that as in she thinks she is.

I have tried and I still am praying with faith that she will overcome this sort of behaviour.

Answer 1

Matthew 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Matthew 18:22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Jesus said as long as they seek your forgiveness your to forgive, even if it is multible times (490 times even)

For you I suggest you:Thessalonians I 5:17 Pray without ceasing.
pray for her, she may not listen to you, maybe if the LORD pricks her heart...

Answer 2

I believe that God wants us to forgive all in order that we can be forgiven as well.
But also remember this...If someone does something bad to you or someone else, even if forgiveness is asked for later, it's human nature to have difficulty in forgetting what happened.
I don't know what was done exactly, but the Bible does talk about putting bad ppl and things away from you. It's better to keep away from someone or something bad than to let a part of it rub off on you.

Answer 3

Forgiveness in a perfect world means to totally forget the things that have been done before. But we live in a world that doesn't make that easy. I feel sorry for your mother because when Jesus said we should forgive 77 times he meant we should always forgive.

an illustration:

two monks travelled on a path and came to a river, where they met a young woman unable to cross. One of the monks picked up the young woman and carried her to the other side of the bank, both went on there way, further down the road the second monk asked his companion if he thought it was right to help the young woman, because they were monks they should not be near women let alone touch a woman.
The first monk replied my brother I left the young woman by the side of the river miles ago, why do you still carry her?

tell your mum to stop carrying the burden, it will eventually wear her down.

Answer 4

A perfect Christian - there is no such a person, ONLY Christ is perfect, as part of the Tri-Une God. Forgiveness is a state of mind and if you cannot forgive another Christ asks how can He forgive you. Now the Word also says: " Judge not lest ye be judged". So it is all a heart 'thing'. Our only hope is Christ and loving others in Christ and asking for Him to forgive us and help us to be forgiving and not judgemental at all is not that easy believe me.

Answer 5

In order to forgive you have to admit that you were partly to blame, either through some action, or some inaction. For some offenses justice must be attempted if not achieved. And in order to complete the forgiveness one must forgive oneself for not being perfect, because no one is, and everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The measure is that only a good person would feel bad when they hurt someone. I wish someone had explained this to me before I was 34 years old because just these few truths have changed my life.

Answer 6

Matthew 6:15 reads "But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

I always know I've forgiven someone when I can see them and interact with them without feeling the anger, or whatever I felt after they did what I perceived as an insult, or wronged me in any way.

Answer 7

Your mom unfortunately is like many Christians who don't act as they preach; my ex-boyfriend is just like her; I'm not a Christian but I do forgive and bear no grudges to nobody, because I believe that Jesus' teachings were good ones. We should always leave our door open to people, no matter how wrong what they did was, everyone deserves another chance;

Answer 8

Forgiveness... is it limited to religions(;-)


Forgiveness stories quotes definition and love

Forgiveness is that quality in a human being which separates him from the animals and the lower forms of living beings. To preach forgiveness is a simple task but to be able to practice forgiveness in real life is the essence of life.

Only a person with extreme humbleness imbibed within and a feeling of compassion for his compatriot is able to practice forgiveness! To be able to forgive requires that the forgiver forgoes all the sufferings of the past that may have been inflicted upon him by the gruesome acts of the indulgent. A tough task indeed but not something that cannot be practised!


In most circumstances one may not have committed any sin, still practising forgiveness brings within us a feeling of extreme calm and compassion for the mankind in general. Practice of forgiveness normally cannot be practiced by the common man for it requires practising patience to its extreme.

If we are to achieve our goal of life... we just cannot manage to cling on to events of the past... happenings which cannot be reversed by us using any means. We cannot travel back in time to undo the events of the past. Why not practice forgiveness and forgive those ignorant denizens of the society who practiced ill will and caused harm to the society.

Forgiving the ignorant is the best policy... it clears us of the debris of the past! Indulgence in the ugly residual remembrances of the past results in anger. Why destroy our body and health by harbouring the evil thoughts of the past.


Knowing well that we cannot undo the events of the past... we must brace ourselves for the times ahead! To be able to peacefully practice in the present we need to follow the dictates of forgiveness to its extreme! There are no allowances in the field of forgiveness. It has to be total surrender!

Practising forgiveness is the biggest boon to mankind from God the Almighty. One can exercise this power and reach for the higher goals of life by discriminating between the good and the bad. Harbouring ill will against one never yields positive results. More on forgiveness here- http://www.godrealized.org/Forgiveness.html

Answer 9

She is able to forgive, but not to forget. That in itself is a very hard thing to deal with. Instead of just worrying, try to help her with it. Not through lecture, but through example. You are a part of her and can help better than anyone most likely. I find it hard myself to talk with someone after a rough patch. It does take time to heal, but remember, time DOES heal.

Answer 10

she put quotation marks around the word perfect. so you get it. well anyways that sounds exactly like my mom.. hmm have you tried praying for her regarding this? PS.maybe she thinks that you don't understand because you don't know what she went through. (that's from my mom lol)