my mom recently got married after being divorced for 11 years. i have a new step-dad and 2 step-brothers! is this a good thing or a bad thing and how do i deal with this?
2006-12-01 19:55:22 · 19 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have a large say in whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. If you go in with an open mind, willing to get to know these people then it might be good. Hopefully you've gotten to know them somewhat before they got married. It is probably a good idea to sit down as a family and lay down some ground rules.....who's responsible for what, what's appropriate and what's not, so on and so forth. It will take time, but as long as everyone is respectful of each other and willing to put in the time then it should be fine. Good luck!
2006-12-01 19:58:48 · answer #1 · answered by lady j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether it is a good thing or a bad thing is totally up to you. I grew up with a step-dad and two step-brothers and I love them all just as much as my dad and sisters. If you start out the relationship being yourself and seeing that this is your family then it will make it a lot easier on all of you. If it has been 11 years then your mom didn't just fall for anyone she has found someone who truelly makes her happy and he must be special for her to finally share her life and yours with him. It will be different and there will be times when no matter how fair they try to be you will feel his sons are coming first but remember they will feel the same way being a step-parent is harder than being a step-kid and your mother will need your support as well. Just keep the communication going and be there for them as you would any family memeber and you will see it is nice. It is all what you make it out to be.
2006-12-02 08:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres no really good answer for your question. I myself have a stepdad and he has 2 kids. Hes been married to my mom for 16 years and let me tell you, there has been plenty of fights in this house. I even took it upon myself to move out for 4 years when I was a teenager. He felt that he had to be the "father figure" and step up to his responsibilities. Its a bit harder for a stepparent to do that when their stepchild is older. I guess it all depends on the person. My stepdad is an idiot and everyone knows it. All I can say is just be yourself, give respect and if they dont want to give it back, then do what ya have too. Wish ya the best!
2006-12-02 09:11:57 · answer #3 · answered by PfcsBaby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your mom's relationship. Honor her by NOT making this a battle or nightmare.
This is good for your mother. Do your best to help her by not getting her attention by misbehaving.
Your attitued and words can make or break your family life.
Make the best of things. Don't draw battle lines.
If there are troubles between you and you new family members....take the high road and learn to make peace and harmony. Communication is the key. There might be some struggles, but that is what family does. Hangs in there.
2006-12-02 04:15:41 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as no confrontations have begun with the new members of you family you are fine. If you are young (9-14) then you'll have about 4-9 years to interact with each other before you split into different colleges. With dads, just be nice, and you don't have to say much. For brothers, try to be nice, and feel free to help them a bit in school, but don't be overbearing. Hope it helps.
2006-12-02 04:26:45 · answer #5 · answered by ~luminary legacy~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only ur positive outlook to what life has to offer can make u happy. Give him the respect that is due & he will respect u. He cannot be ur father (genetically speaking) but he is ur moms best friend now, so u got to respect that. Its difficult not having ur dad around in the 1st place & then to have to adapte to a new person sharing ur house.
But at least u have ur mom. There are people who donot have both dad or mom.
When ur sad just think of people below (who donot have both).
Its is kind of when a man who lost his right hand went to Church to complain he saw a guy with no hands thanking god for taking his hands but saving his life.
Its difficult , but thats the best I can offer you, pal.
2006-12-02 04:14:08 · answer #6 · answered by jack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is always hard to deal with. You just have to keep an open mind. Think of it like this, is your mom happy? If she is, then you should try your best to get along with him. And you never know, he could be really cool. I concider my step dad to be my real father.
2006-12-02 05:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by Cakes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go with the flow, don't have expectations and remember it takes time for everyone to find their comfy place in a new blended family. A friend of mine told me what worked for her is taking the word "step" out of the family. I liked that, hope you do too. Just remember your new Dad is probably just wanting to be accepted and given a fair go.
2006-12-02 04:39:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be jealous. your mom is trying to find happiness. give her a chance and don't try to ruin it for her. her relationship with you is clearly important, but she can get something from a husband that can't be gotten from any other source. give your step-dad a chance so you can at least be friendly and not antagonistic.
2006-12-02 04:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by harkerrocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a new step dad and i love it we do like everything together well like cooking but sometimes we get in fights but just go with the flow
2006-12-02 03:57:45 · answer #10 · answered by hockey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋