how do i move on after a breakup?

Question

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, we had been dating for almost 2 years, my longest relationship so far in my short 19 years, and I'm having a hard time moving on cause I still love him so much. He decided that his feelings for me had gone from love to only friendship love, and that he still cared for me but not in the romantic way anymore. I'm still just absolutely wrecked by this, and I want to move on with my life. I need advice on how to do this without closing him out of my life, as he's my best friend and if I completely lost him I couldn't deal with it.

Answer 1

Let me start by saying that it is not easy. I would suggest before entering into another relationship take some time for your self. Enjoy your freedom for a while, and when you feel like you're ready to get involve with someone else, go for it. Start slow and move on. It is also important to get closure from your old relationship so that it will not create problems in your new one.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Just take this as an experience.
We all go through heart ache. It's only part of life.
Bad things happen.... and good things happen.

And what we need to do with the bad things is use them to make us stronger... to build a better future. To learn from them... to grow from them.

You're 19. You're still young. You've got your whole life ahead of you. You really do. Just be thankful you're not 30 or 40 going through this.

Things happen for a reason. We may not know what it is now or ever.... but there's a reason.

God has a plan for us and will bring us the right one in His time. We just have to have faith in Him.

Don't worry okay? Everything will be fine.

Answer 4

I just went through a break up with my boyfriend of two years too. Before that, he was my best friend for as long as I can remember.

You know what, just give it some time.. It'll be okay :) No rush in trying to move on.. it can take weeks, but don't worry. You'll survive! It's okay to stay in bed and mope for a day or two, but after that.. force yourself to go out! Drown yourself in your friends! Talk about it. Dont ever, ever keep it in. Get involved in some other activities.. sports, etc. Keep busy!

Don't allow yourself to talk to him for some time.. Then when you feel you're strong enough to deal, then you can hang out with him again (but preferrably not alone!). Maybe then, you could start building a friendship again.

Just remember, be honest and open with yourself most of all. :)

Answer 5

fFND A WAY TO GET BACK WITH THIS GUY FOR THE SOUL PURPOSE OF DUMPING HIM.

Love is about the distribution of emotions. He is walking around having no real problems because he dumped you. I liken it to someone taking money from your wallet without your consent and then telling you after the fact. Now you do the same thing and although you may feel a little guilty you will have no problem sleeping at night.

How to get back, you get some friend to help you. He needs to know there is another guy who wants to have sex with you.A guy who is hot to trot and better than him. It will work. Once you get him back wanting you and you are ready to make love tell him sorry you have fallen for another.

It will RIP his heart out.

Answer 6

First off, what you are feeling is completely normal. I can say I've felt like that two times, and it is horrid, isn't it? Losing something you adore is never going to be an easy fix.

But lots of people have bounced back from this, and I'm absolutely certain you will as well. I always says this, and it's a tad cliche, but time is your best friend. More than anything else you can do, the passage of time will help resolve these feelings. While you can't imagine a moment now where it will feel good, just have faith that in months to come it will gradually get better and better.

But, hey, wait a second! I want you to start feeling better now. So let's go over some things you can do for that:

1. Allow yourself to be sad. It's okay! This is hard stuff. Cry. Listen to breakup music. Write bad poetry. Whatever it is you need to vent, go ahead, this is the time to do it.

2. Let your friends pamper you. It's all good, spoil yourself with your favorite things this one time. Whatever it is that cheers you up, no matter how stupid, embrace it. If it's food, remember just the ONE time. I don't want to endorse emotional eating, but hey, you're allowed some treats!

3. Do all the things you put to the side that he didn't care for. Were you a sucker for "chick flicks"? Or did you have a television show, book, or anything that he just couldn't stand or get into? Hey, you're single now! It's time to enjoy anything you want without having to answer to anybody else. For me, I can tell you that I played my neglected video games all night long. I also scheduled a lot more time with friends that I normally spent with her. They were glad to have my company, and I was glad to get out of the house. This leads us to number 4...

4. Get out of the house (eventually). Now have you grieved? Have you had bad hair days for a week now? Cool, you're ready to get out of the house, call up your friends, and hit the town (or just hang out, whatever you prefer). The key here is being social and allowing yourself, even if you don't want to, the opportunity to talk and have a good time. Now the first time it might suck, but hey, you did it and it will get easier.

5. Space is your friend. At first you're going to want to immediately cling to any old relationship stuff you have with your ex, but, you really need space at this point. Time away from him, time away from his stuff, time away from things you guys did. If you have any remaining stuff of his, don't throw it away, don't smash it... just put it in a box and tuck it out of sight. Everybody I know has a little box of things from Ex's, this is totally normal. Eventually you might want to bring pictures out (I did a year later when we were friends again) but for now they are just bad reminders. Don't cut him out of your life, but resist seeing each other too often. When you do make plans, make sure you have a set time - lunch is PERFECT for this. Lunch of 1 hour, maybe 1.5 hours is right on cue. Just don't overdo it and make sure you're comfortable. If you're not, you know what to do: space.

And finally, some words of hope from the scientific community:
I remember vividly reading in the NY Times a few years ago that brain research with relationships showed that people in longterm relationships developed deep connections and patterns with people. This is why you are so hurt now, and why it isn't easy to forget. But the studies showed clearly that over time, these (romantic) connections were able to be lessened and eventually replaced. Moral of the article? Moving on is completely possible in all cases, it just takes time.

Hang in there, friend. So many of us have been through this, and you'll make it too. I hope some of my tips help you feel better, I know they have helped me quite a bit. Good luck =)

Answer 7

I agree with taking time for yourself be single a while it helps to just be alone for a while and theres nothing wrong with doing that. Some are just not meant and just have to think to your self and smile and say there is better for me out there. And belive it or not thats a true fact we are not put on this earth to be alone. Theres a match for all of us. Have to hit the bad ones first to find the right one.
You never know being with him may have put you a step closer to findig you true match

Answer 8

Nothing changes, if nothing changes...do things differently. If you get out of bed in the morning on the right side, get out on the left. Drive a different way to work. Shop at a different grocery store. Change comes with time. In time you will move on. Be gentle on yourself. Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

Hm...Sounds like a delema......Well go to non-romantic places and try to avoid the places you always used to go when u 2 were going out, obviously. Try to hang with your girlfriends more than you do him and ...well do girl stuff to get your mind off him...

Answer 10

i'm going to proceed to exist via Gloria Gaynor, you're making me sick via crimson, caught obtainable via Kelis, too little, too late via JoJo, extra suitable via Britney Spears, extra suitable via the sugabages, i'm long previous via Kelly Clarkson, fighter via Christina Aguleria, Survivor via destiny's baby, Irreplaceable via Beyonce, shifting on via Taio Cruz (impressive music) YouTube them and hear them!!