Let's say that you meet someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with but they do not want kids and you do. Do you stay with this special person because you love them and give up your hope of ever having kids? Or do you give up on the relationship and the love because you want to have kids more? How do you know that if you do do this that you will find another soulmate in your lifetime? Which are you willing to risk not having?
2006-12-01 19:01:21 · 17 answers · asked by Serinity4u2find 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't stay with him if your wants aren't the same. Soul mates are more than just being compatible, you also have to come together at similar times with the same wants in your lives for it to be called that.
If you stayed with him and didn't want kids, you will either hold it against him or trap him.
2006-12-01 19:09:10 · answer #1 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Love is different from Liking.
If u love a person u accept him and his likes and dislikes too and may compromise ur likes dislikes for him.
But if u just like him then u would not let go of ur likes.
If the bond is strong then u will be with him and the bond might bring u together on a mutual consent that u may have ur kids too.
It all depends on how strong u feel the bond.
Its not that if u leave him u wont find ur life partner ever again.
He is ofcourse not the only Bachelor in the World..........
2006-12-01 19:10:18 · answer #2 · answered by Vizz_up 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Soulmates are an overrated commodity. If you stay with the current person who does not want kids, and give up your own dream of having kids, you will eventually come to resent your decision and ultimately the person who made you choose this way. Get out and find someone who shares your goals in life. You'll be happier and have fewer regrets, trust me.
2006-12-01 19:05:20 · answer #3 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are DEAD SET against children then I'd try to convince them otherwise, a child is a living, breathing symbol of the love and commitment to each other and a gift to the world, why is that such a bad thing.
If they don't like the idea of having a child from their DNA, then maybe they could adopt, or take in a foster child for a bit.
That is a really though question, I really want to be a mother, someday, so I think I'd leave the guy. If there is REALLY that one person for you out there, then, theoretically, that one person would want children if you did, or not want children if you didn't just to further the compatibility...
Agree?
2006-12-01 20:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by Buckwild 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want children and he does not, but you will not give in, then it is an absolute deal-breaker. Sorry.
Seriously you are a fool if you would give up the love of your life over something so trivial as having children. That is like giving up on someone because they didn’t like Italian food or something. This should be a no-brainer. There are over six billion people on earth and you feel you need another one, or two in order to feel complete? Honestly how could you be so selfish?
One more thing; Why would you want to be a slave to a baby to begin with? Honestly how could any modern self-respecting woman lower herself to that?
Don't try to change him. I will likely just go get a vasectomy.
Best of luck to you.
2006-12-01 19:12:44 · answer #5 · answered by Marvin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i went with having the guy and not my dreams of having children. I regret it i feel like life is so empty. ya know i thought well it would be really sad if i were infertile to begin with and decided that i needed the guy. I seriuosly regret it. I mean to have a guy try to change my dream of being a wife and a mother ( my dream from age 5) would he be willing to give up his career goals for you? if not then i would not be with him. Plus if you marry a guy that doesnt want kids guess what sex becomes --- uh weird. Like i had to take birth control and when it made me really sick then my husband was like you have to take it bc i dont need a kid. when i suggested that he use condoms he said that the pregnancy situation was my responsibility and that i needed to take the pill. Well after a trip to the hospital then i stopped taking it and then he decided not to have sex with me but forced me to perform oral sex on him..... basically it has just been a control factor all along and i hate it and hate having sex with him period.
2006-12-01 19:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by mandakins 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would depend on how long u have been in this relationship. if u have only been together for a short while give him some time. he just may not be ready right now. maybe in a few years.
you also need to look at his childhood. if he had a bad/not so good one, (in his mind) he my not want to bring a kid in the world to grow-up like did.
you need to get to the the root of the problem. but don't be to pushy about it. you might turn him off completely.
2006-12-01 19:11:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like u have answered ur own question. If u feel so strongly about having kids sit down and talk to him about it and find out why he doesnt want kids. If he doesnt want kids dont trap him into having them, if he really doesnt want them he wont be around long once u get pregnant. Time will tell and figure out what u want. There are plenty of guys out there who want kids.
2006-12-01 19:06:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u got him, u can change him, >later< all girls want the guys to c their point, maybe he does, but no guy wants to marry a girl and have his life put on hold so his wife can play "Oedipus Rex", and the 3000 years (OOPS!!)=OLD HEAD GAMES IS CALLED BUT IT HASN'T CHANGED AND GUYS WANT THEIR GIRLS THEY DON'T WANT A" 3=SOME"IN THEIR BED, IT JUST DOESN'T HOLD WATER FOR 99% OF THE GUYS, MOST GUYS WITH KIDS TELL U THEY GOT THE KIDS BY ACCIDENT AND IF YOU LOOK AT UR OWN LIFE AND MINE TOO WE ARE MOSTLY ACCIDENTS AND NOT WELL PLAN AS A WORLD AND GUYS THINK THIS WAY THEY DON'T C YOUR MATERNAL INSTINCTS AS WHAT THEY WANT , THEY (WANT U) NOT SOME THREE SOME, THEY BABY SITTER NEVER GOES AWAY, IT'S LIKE HAVING A PET U CAN'T DO ANYTHING IF SOME ONE HAS TO STAY WITH THE PET, IT LEAVES SOME ONE OUT OF THE PICTURE AND THAT IS THE GUY AND THE PICTURE IS HIS LIFE AND THEY DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT OUT OF THEIR OWN LIFE,TOO MUCH BAGGAGE TO JUGGLE, AND GIRLS WANT TO TIE THE GUY UP IN BAGGAGE TO MAKE A POINT, AND THAT POINT IS $100,000.00 INVESTMENT INTO THE KID AND MOST CIRCUMSTANCES TODAY MAKE KIDS ARE NOT THE BEST INVESTMENT WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE, LOOK AT THE NUMBERS AND C THE FAILURES AND KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE WHEN AND MAKE YOUR LOVE LIFE WEAVE A PLAN JUST FOR HIM
2006-12-01 19:18:59 · answer #9 · answered by bev 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should let them know that having children is important to you. if they says he doesn't want them, you have to consider where your priorities lay. do you love him enough to stay with him, yet with no children, but a small hope you may have them, or do you go out and find yourself someone who shares your dreams of becoming a parent. if becoming a parent is important to you, and you do want that experience in your lifetime, talk it over with him now, so you wont end up hurting each other down the road.
2006-12-01 19:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by ~Michelle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋