My concern is, I don't know if I can stay married to him any longer. He has violent outburst of rage where he will break his cell phone, hit himself in the face, shout very loud, gets a monthly speeding ticket. He almost appears like a psychopathic maniac. We are not sexually intimate since a year. We have a new baby and he has a very bad temper. I gets very nervous when he gets into his rages. Although he has never hit me, I will not think twice about calling 911 if he did. But, It seems as though he goes mentally insane like he becomes another person. He is so sweet and kind when everything is going good, but he can't seem to handle stressful situations or arguements. We once shared great moments together but now it's as though I can't trust him anymore not even with our baby. I love him, but he needs mental help or medication for his anger. If I apply for a divorce now before he gets his permanent visa, I was wondering if this will hurt his chances of he staying in America.
2006-12-01 18:37:44 · 3 answers · asked by justme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't think it will hurt your chances. But you definitely need to get him to get some help before he goes "postal" on you or somebody else. And, if he is that violent then maybe he doesn't need to be in this country anyway. I know you love him, but you need to protect yourself and your baby. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-01 18:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out! Leave NOW! It is NOT going to get better, it WILL get worse! If it hurts his chances of staying in the US, oh well--we've already got enough rage-o-holic men as it is. Look at the sentence in which you have written "Although he has never hit me..." and add "yet" to it, because it is very likely that it will occur. He is already abusing you emotionally with his rages, and he is definitely setting an incredibly poor example of home life for your child. Do you really want to raise a child with this man? You are absolutely correct that he needs both medication and counseling for his rage episodes, and it sounds as if he won't go to get them because he doesn't see it as a problem--it's YOUR problem at this stage. Don't wait until he has harmed either you or your child anymore with his dangerous behavior to leave the relationship. You need to take care of yourself and your child because he clearly does not seem to be concerned with your welfare or he would be doing something about his behavior. DON'T let him guilt trip you into staying for the sake of HIS visa.
I hate to say this, but I have been married for 15 years to a man who has severe rages--but not even as bad as the ones you are describing. Our life together is horrid, and I cannot seem to make him take it seriously that I want him OUT of my life.
Good luck to you and to your child.
2006-12-01 19:06:50 · answer #2 · answered by Megumi D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to think about you and your baby. Divorce him and get away as soon as possible... you're right, he doesn't sound mean, he sounds psychotic. Legally seperate from him and move ou t. Tell him you can try to work it out if he goes for the help he needs. Find some institutions in your area and ssee what you can legally do.
2006-12-05 07:17:04 · answer #3 · answered by Sara K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋