Is it good to have sex after engagement & before marriage?
Pls guide me on that.
My one friend has asked me this difficult question. I want to guide him properly
2006-12-01 18:02:16 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For the faithful religious, you shouldn't....reason IS, the idea behind virginity and waiting til marriage is THE GIFT of giving your virginity to that person...engagement means 'GOING to be married' on which there is the possibility of it NOT HAPPENIN in which of course if it don't, you just wasted your virginity for the wrong person. That's the idea behind it being bad. Now given most people aren't virgins after 18, sex has become this cliche revival of the hippy days but more sophisticated and stable than the orgies they had back then stuff....it doesn't matter anymore. ACTUALLY, now you HAVE to have sex, because if that person doesn't satisfy you sexually then it ain't gonna work.....but then we revert back to 'being a virgin' if BOTH of you were virgins, then that means you don't know what to expect, which means you BOTH learn TOGETHER on how to ultimately please each other...as it should be, but because people just have random sex and think at 18 you're SUPPOSED to lose it.....suddenly you have to connect personally AND be good at sex too or it won't work. Which is ridiculous but seems to happen quite a bit. I tried waiting, but i got discouraged and let it go...then i ended up meeting my fiance who was a virgin a year later...which sucked..but i was still inexperienced to an extent when we got together anyway, and out of the 5 women i've messed with from the year i lost it she was the best one because we learned TOGETHER...and pretty much found out what we liked, while in comparison to the last 4, they were experienced, and not only did i not finish with them but i obviously wasn't that great either it was just a fiasco because ...in all honesty i wasn't experienced....so i was just a 'fling' to them. With my fiance, new to it like me, we just clicked, and because i'm all she knows she is obviously gonna give the time and patience to work with what we have..and so now it's every time we get off .HARD....and it's like a match made in heaven.........
SO....to sum this all up...is it good to have sex before marriage? I suppose only for those who've had sex already....because they've thrown themselves into 'need experience stage of life'
NO, if both of you are virgins...keep it traditional and right, not many can do that...and hell half the fun is learning anyway when ya'll are both eager to lose it.....patience is a virtue.
2006-12-01 18:21:41 · answer #1 · answered by Dennis 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely! This is your last chance to find out that the two of you are completely incompatible in bed. Some people just don't connect sexually and it has nothing to do with experience or virginity; it's basically an emotional and mental issue, more than physical, but this is the time to know.
On the other hand, if you've been having pre-marital sex, then it might be fun to go celebate for at least part of the engagement immiediately preceding the wedding night.
2006-12-02 02:07:44 · answer #2 · answered by Hank Hill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From studies I've seen reported on in the media, if the couple has not had sex yet and gets engaged, it's definitely best to wait until marriage. I'm not sure why this is true, but that's what I've seen in newspaper articles more than once.
2006-12-02 02:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I did because we wanted to have more fun on our honeymoon. To be honest right after the wedding you are so tired it would be best to wait till the next morning or just have a "quickie" and then take longer the rest of the honeymoon. But if you haven't had sex before that then you may have a few problems with the wife if she is a virgin. (some women have no problems but some (like me) hurt after having sex for the first time.
2006-12-02 02:06:01 · answer #4 · answered by Jan G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rarely just sex when someone has made the commitment to be engaged. I would say that is up to them. If in their eyes and hearts they are married already in spirit, they may not be able to control themselves anyway. Reserve the definite answer to your friend. Many people do not have a formal wedding anyway. There is common law marriage determined by living together with a common feeling of love and planning a life together.
2006-12-02 02:07:44 · answer #5 · answered by PZ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, The sex should be saved for a successful marriage. The gift of sex to spouse is so great. And if people are living together before marriage they have the mentality that they can leave for someone else at any time.
2006-12-02 02:04:20 · answer #6 · answered by Joe 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that is a tough question. it all depends on if they are set in waiting or not. my answer would be to wait just because you can still break up in an engagement and a marriage should be forever. good luck on guiding him, it is a very difficult question.
2006-12-02 02:07:09 · answer #7 · answered by mink_kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's how I see things...
Dating-- not long term
Engagement--semi-long term, but can end!
Marriage-- long term, but in 50% of the cases ends
Is your friend wanting to wait a certain amount of time before having sex? Does your friend want to wait until he/she is married? Because engagement is not marriage! Engagement can end fast!
2006-12-02 02:05:13 · answer #8 · answered by Lola 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is always better to wait if you can..there is honor in waiting...however, the main concern is that BOTH persons are ready...and don't feel they are being pressured! The act of making love is a physical expression of the inner feelings of love and commitment that two people have for each other!!! It is like a dance....a beautiful, sensual dance that is so beautiful and fulfilling!!! It is wild and passionate..yet gentle and thoughtful of the partner!!! It will have such a greater sense of magic if you wait...until you are totally committed to each other then you truly DO become one...in mind, in spirit, and in body!!!
2006-12-02 02:07:28 · answer #9 · answered by photogram1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Waiting until marriage adds to the beauty and distinctiveness of this special union. The intimacy and anticipation of sex is so much more intense if it is confined within marriage.
2006-12-02 02:17:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lyf 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋