it's x-mas time and my s.i.l yelled at my husband over why we can't spend x-mas eve with them (we will be there all of x-mas day). This wasn't regular yelling this was personal attacks, telling him he hates their family, calling me (his wife)all kinds of names. All this in a crazy screaming frenzy. I guess she did this most of his childhhood. Now x-mas is feeling strange he doesn't even want to buy her anything. BTW at 33 s.i.l. lives at home with parents, has never had a date, and no real friends to speak of other then parents. How do we deal with hwr now? Do we/I bring it up again?
2006-12-01 17:54:46 · 15 answers · asked by nataashaa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just tell her the reason. The reason why we cant bc we have other places to be and we ARE GOING TO BE THERE CHRISTMAS DAY. ASK her why she can not understand that. SHE IS OLD ENGOUGH TO HEAR THAT SHE IS BEING SELFISH. you can tell her in a nicer way i suppose but she is being selfish. JUST tell her that there is no reason to b angry and if she keeps this attitude up tell her we wont even go on christmas day. Tell her it is supposed to be a happy holiday not and upsetting one and if she cant be happy with the way things are then too bad it is what it is and if she cant deal with it then just dont go over there. Tell your parents to com over to your house but do not bring the sister if she is going to behave like a three year old. SHE IS ACTING LIKE ONE i got one.
2006-12-01 17:59:37 · answer #1 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe she either has emotional problems because she feels she has no control over her life or she is striking out because she feels so bad about herself. Don't go on the attack. Stay neutral. Don't take sides. Your husband is a big boy and may have more insight to what her problems stem from. She may feel he abandoned her for a family of his own. It will be very difficult, but show yourself as a steadfast, calm, and controlled person. She will someday respect you for reserving your judgment. Stay benign!
2006-12-02 02:03:28 · answer #2 · answered by PZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your energy on such a self-centered b----. I would say go ahead and get her a present...be the bigger person here. Besides, nothing pisses off a person like that more than kindness.
And if she tries any of this drama on Xmas day, just let her scream and yell in front of everyone and let them see her for the brat she is. It's not your problem.
2006-12-02 02:03:33 · answer #3 · answered by randomthoughtpatterns 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand tall, and approach yr husband saying, in a calm manner that we;ll purchase an inexpensive gift card for her.
Tell him that family isn't always so wonderful- and that she was wrong. Pick a time when yr shopping, and the mood is busy.
2006-12-02 05:20:41 · answer #4 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, your sister-in-law sounds very complicated. I think you should sit down with your husband and his sister. Find out what's bothering her, and try to make an agreement. I don't think it's a good time to be fighting over the holidays! : ( After awhile, your husband should try to spend more time with her, maybe they'll learn more about each other.
2006-12-02 01:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your family and I would say f it and go any way. Who is she to decide who spend x-mas where. X-mas is about family and if she doesnt like it tell her to find someone else to spend it with.
2006-12-02 02:04:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt deal with her at all. She apparantly has problems. She obviously wouldnt consider professional help, which she undoubtedly needs. She doesnt have a life. Think about it.
That's her problem. Nothing anyone says or does will help.
She needs to feel good about herself, but doesnt have a clue as to how to go about it.
2006-12-02 03:24:38 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a trap of an emotional blackmailer, and complex.sad too. Stick with your original plans . coming to her beck and call will not help her to leave her visibly discomfort with her own fears of leaving home. of growing up and accepting the freedom her brother has.
2006-12-02 03:13:40 · answer #8 · answered by Conway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your husband's decision and he is the one who has to deal with this. Just support him and whatever decision he makes. I have been going through something similar for about 7 years now, and it is hard to just sit back and watch. Good luck to you.
2006-12-02 10:19:51 · answer #9 · answered by PLDFK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ha ve a social misfit on your hands. Just ignore her or deliberately shout back at her the next time she attempts such rubbish. Another form of shock therapy....
2006-12-02 01:59:28 · answer #10 · answered by Bruno Tataglia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋