My girlfriend tonight told me she has some serious mental issues that date back before we dated. Stay or go?

Question

Date for over 6 months. We "love" each other. I'm willing to work with her but she says she may need to go to a mental hospital for 6 months + to work through this deep problem that no one but her current therapist knows of. It kills me she has these issues but is it hindering my own existence by staying with her?

Date for over 6 months. We "love" each other. I'm willing to work with her but she says she may need to go to a mental hospital for 6 months + to work through this deep problem that no one but her current therapist knows of. It kills me she has these issues but is it hindering my own existence by staying with her? **New thing: I found out she cuts herself...randm cuts on the arms. I knew she did this once in the past but she said she has been doing it while we have been dating. I don't know how to deal with this yet...

Answer 1

You have to figure this out for yourself hun, only you know if you love her enough to be with her and all of her baggage(mental problems, emotional problems, possible physical problems). I guess it depends on the severity of her mental issues, you don't mention what she is going through so I can't tell how bad off she is. This is a test of your love for her, can you remain faithful to her through the entire 6+ months she is away from you getting help? Do you trust her to remain faithful? Can you be there for her to help her through anything and everything she may encounter? You be the judge, if you are not strong enough to be there for her at the drop of a hat then I say it is in her best interest for you guys to go your seperate ways.

Answer 2

If you feel you cannot support your girlfriend then maybe you ought to walk away now. She obviously needs professional help and it seems you are not strong enough to handle it. I am not saying that to get at you in any way, mental illness is a hard thing to cope with.
Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at the wider picture. The fact that she cannot open up to you and tell you what the problem is may well be a problem in itself.
Its a hard one really to walk a way from someone you love while they are ill. But in the end you have to make the decision, as you are the only one in charge of your own happiness.
Maybe you can still be supportive for your girlfriend but not as a boyfriend and just as a friend.
You really ought to talk about it all with her and try to come to an agreement.
I wish you luck.

Answer 3

if ur not deeply in love just back off go to her and explain if timeis important, do you have the time to wait, make your needs reflect your concern and you support her, and will this help her explain how you can bridge your need to know what is going on, and can she bring you into focus or are you stuck being lost for purpose,and no input, she will tell you to mind your own business, you have to c if this is punk attitude or mean girl stuff that is going around or that she has hard times dealing with relationships and has no way to fall back on what is the missing parts(therapy)or the missing understanding of a real locked up situation from the past, sometimes they mean what they say and other times they just add enough truth to divert you, and if you want to be mislead, c what u feel each day and sleep on it before you make day to day understandings of what conceptions you want for the both of u and can u play 3rd party in a psychotherapy wet blankets hanging around, sometimes u have feelings that demand your attention because wrong answers wont do. making her a good diet, sleep, and support, then c if she and u need each other

Answer 4

We've had family members who have struggled with mental and emotional issues, and I know from experience how hard this can be. It can take years to get over, and sometimes they don't get over it. Sometimes it means a lifetime of medications and appointments with psychatrists, and on and on it goes.

It can be grueling for spouses and children....and depending on the condition it is frequently passed on to children. If not genetically, then environmentally.

I will say this - if you intend to stay with her, then you have a right to know what she's battling specifically, the diagnosis, the long-term prognosis, etc. Because if you intend to stay and eventually marry this girl, then this will probably affect your future children.

Knowing how we've struggled, I would say run, don't walk away, because this will likely mean a lifetime of misery and frustration. The effects of medication are very temporary, and medicines have to be adjusted frequently....sometimes with extremely unpleasant side effects. I'm not trying to be the bad guy here, but just letting you know what could be in store for you.

I may get alot of thumbs down on this one - I'm not being politically correct here I know. But I've spent too many tearful hours on the phone trying to talk someone down, or waiting in doctor's offices for yet another band-aid solution, or trying to mend broken hearts and relationships by irrational emotions and behavior that I can safely say I would not choose this path again.

If you stay or leave, the choice is yours. Just make sure it's an INFORMED choice! Get to talk with the doctor for yourself if at all possible, so you'll be assured of getting the truth.

Good luck -

Answer 5

Only you can know if her issues are hindering you. You say you love her. If that is true then great!! She is probably going to need some support from you. Its up to you if you are up to the task. If you think the relationship is worth it you have to try. It is not going to be easy but nothing good ever is. If not then you need to be honest with her and yourself. It will help everyone in the long run. She can't work on your relationship if she can't work on herself first.

Answer 6

Well it's up to you... my mom has a serious mental illness, manic depression and has been in and out of the hospital many many times since she was 14. But my dad loved her so much and that didn't matter its a beautiful miracle that he loved her so much they've been married for 20 years now and are still very happy. :) It's hard sometimes but in actuallity it makes our family stronger.

Answer 7

Find out what her issues are and maybe you can help! Or just try to be there for her.if she goes to the hospital go and see how she is doing, this is the time she needs you the most. don't bail!

Answer 8

If you love her like you say you do then stay ..Even if she tells you she can't have you around and won't tell you what the problem is then tell her you respect her and that you will be there for her if ever she needs you ..
Best of luck to you =)

Answer 9

and you actually believe her? maybe she wants to break up but she cant find the words. she should be able to trust you to tell you what is wrong with her if she gonna be away for 6 months!

Answer 10

I think the fact that you are asking tells you your answer. If you really wanted to be with her, and you knew she was right for you, would you be asking this?