Three year old wanting friends... Stay at home mom?

Question

My three year old keeps telling me that he doesn't have any friends? I stay at home with him and my 10 month old, but I have friends with kids who we visit from time to time. I don't know if it's really bothering him or just something he is saying to get attention because he is having a few jealousy issues with the new baby. He also says "no one wants to come to my party" I have no idea what that means but it kind of makes me think he is just saying them for attention .. which is understandable. He won't start school for another 3 yrs because of his late birthday I wasn't going to start preschool for another year or two? Anyone else ever been through this? It kind of makes me feel bad and I will name little kids and say so and so is your friend and I get "I need more friends" - no matter how many people I name ....I know no one knows whether or not he really means it .. I was just wanting some opinions..

I am planning on putting him in a preschool I was just going to wait another year... until all this came up? Now I am not sure

Answer 1

If you are a SAHM, that's awesome! Children your childs age don't really enjoy "friends" the way you are thinking of anyway. If you are focused on the baby, he more than likely is very jealous-rightly so. Have you considered joining a mother's group or SAHM group in your area? Meetup.com is a perfect place to find lots of moms who stay home with their kids, and other children for your child to play with. In addition, you can routinely take him to the local park, Chuck E Cheese, the children's museum,etc.

School has nothing to do with friends, except for the fact that most people in this country spend their entire lives in school and don't know anything else. I think you are doing a wonderful service to your child, that is absolutely irreplacable, by staying home with him-and so do most psychologist! Right now, your two babies are in the attachment phase of their lives, having nothing to do with US academic standards, but basic human NEEDS! As their mother, it's your job to meet your children's needs, and you seem as though you have so far. Make a routine out of taking him to places where he gets to see the same kids multiple times a week(again, the local Y, parks, Chuck E Cheese) and don't forget to spend time alone with him, without the baby, whenever you can! He needs that.
Take care, good luck, and great job!

Answer 2

Maybe he has heard this somewhere, he's repeated it and gotten a response which he likes. Could you try to have a friend or two drop by with their similar aged children, separately, and see if it makes any difference to your son or not?

I have known Moms who trade their children several days a week, where one Mom takes the kids one day, and the other Mom takes the other day. Could you find someone and try that with your three year old?

Don't feel guilty. You haven't deprived him of anything. He's found a good button to push to get a reaction from you. You will find a way to get him more social time and then you can evaluate whether that is even something he wants. He may just be longing to be an only child again. Having another sibling brings changes.

Can someone watch your little one and you take the three year old out by himself for something special, maybe see Santa or get an bit of ice cream or just about anything one on one? Then you can see if that is what he is looking for.

Answer 3

He does need interaction with children his age, that is by no means a unusual request. Many cities have a low cost drop in mom & tot play date. Most are once a week & only $5 per visit, no obligation many activiteis.

Actually I would recommend avoiding preschool we tried it & removed our daughter they get no beenift (if you spend time teaching him) other than socialazation that he can get some where else free or alot cheaper... Preschool is a load of cr*p!

Answer 4

Hmmm. . . did he hear that on a TV show or from someone he knows? I don't know how a 3-year-old would come up with "no one wants to come to my party" unless he heard that from somewhere or was actually having a party that no one would come to. I wouldn't try to convince him he has enough friends by naming friends. Try the book How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk for ideas about how to find out more about what he means so you can help more.

Answer 5

Hi,

I did the Head Start thing, and it is fabulous. Mom's can hang around with their younger ones and help make snacks or whatever. You can be there without being *right* there. It is a great source of other kids to invite to parties...

Personally, I would never let one of my children out of my sight until I knew for sure that everyone they contact is a decent human being, and that those people will be equally careful not to expose them to potentially dangerous strangers. Head Start accommodates that, and instills some nice personal habits (like tooth brushing and hand washing) without a lot of parent policing. I really appreciated it.

Answer 6

My son will be 3 on new years... and we dont have other children in the family or around were we live....(also a S@HM) so I found a place called, "Center for Creative Play"(isnt a daycare), its a huge center, where the kids play and do arts and crafts you name it....it allows interaction with other kids his age....and you stay there and interact the whole time with him..its a DO as you Want place..nothing is planned for you..and it would be a great place for your younger child as well!
Who wouldnt like a huge indoor safe play area!? GOODLUCK!

Answer 7

If your child is potty trained, by all means set him up in preschool...even if it's half a day. At 3, he is craving FUN. Other kids visiting from time to time is not stimulating enough for him.

Answer 8

You know, it might be fun to start going to a Moms group. They frequently meet in churches and community centres. This gives your child a chance to play with other kids while you chat with other moms. He can widen his circle, and maybe even make friends independently.

Also, since the group would most likely consist of other SAHMs, you could compare experiences and get some support in your parenting adventures!

Answer 9

Don't send him to preschool that's all I gotta say. Preschool is for kids whose parents want to get rid of them. Take him to the park or something to meet other kids.

Answer 10

You are setting yourself up for problems here. You need to find a Head Start program or a day care or somethign for the child to attend he needs a school like structrue and he needs contact with children his own age, If you wait until he is 6 he is going to be way behind the other children in terms of social skills and this could hinder him for a long time to come. At his age he needs to interact with children of his age group it is very important for his development and it will help him be adjusted for attending school. I cannot emphasise this enough that child needs to be in some sort of school like setting for at least part of the day.