2006-12-01 17:49:01 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can avoid hurting their feelings by being evasive or untruthful as many have suggested. But it's better to be honest. The best thing in this situation it to tell him exactly what you feel.
There are 2 challenges present. One is coming up with a phrasing to politely assert that you are not interested in dating the person. Second is getting over the misconception that you are responsible for his/her feelings.
On the first, " Dude, I think you're a really nice guy and I don't want to hurt your feelings. But I don't feel that dating you is good for either of us."
On the second issue... All feelings are valid and we have the right to feel whatever it is we feel. We also have the responsibility for those feelings. We CHOOSE to take criticism/rejection as an insult and act very "hurt". Or we can choose to realize that we are not God's gift to the dating world and start working to develop more confidence, culture and style. Take for example, a gal tells a guy that she thinks he is very bad at picking out his clothes and he should know that a polka dot shirt does not go with striped pants. Then the guy goes nuts, totally disrobes, is arrested for indecent exposure and tries to tell the cops that it's the gal's fault he's naked.
A dude may act or feel that he is soooooo hurt, but his feelings are HIS responsibility and not yours.
It is his choice to imagine he is above criticism verses seeing that he needs to go to the batting cage and work on technique.
So don't sweat that you are hurting his feelings. Tell him the truth and leave it to him to choose between acting a fool or being a mature man.
2006-12-01 17:55:33 · answer #1 · answered by Trailcook 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If it is a person who is interested in you as a boy/girlfriend I would point out that we are too different to make this type of relationship work, but we could be friends. If it is someone who just wants to hang around as a casual friend I would tell that person that I don't have anything against them personally, but our personality types clash and we would eventually end up driving each other crazy.
2006-12-02 01:56:48 · answer #2 · answered by BetteBoop 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a bummer, but there is no easy way on this. You are best served to be as open, honest and direct as possible.
You can always let them down easy with the old, "you are a terrific person, I'm humbled that you feel this way about me, but I'm committed to someone else..."
2006-12-02 01:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't no matter how you say it thier feelings will be hurt. Just tell them from the heart. Everyone at one point in time has to go through this on both ends. Good Luck
2006-12-02 01:51:06 · answer #4 · answered by eazter 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The just friends or your like a bro/sis to me usually works. Just a subtle way of letting down easy! Good Luck!
2006-12-02 01:55:03 · answer #5 · answered by kissgirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
EASY!!!!!!.... Tell them you're "gay" or "strait" depending on your situation and all is cool. But, then for sure you can't go doin' their friend.......... Seriously though.... No matter what, they will be disappointed a bit, but if you are cool and compassionate their feelings can be saved. Just be honest - that's all you can do... Be true to yourself and they should understand and appreciate you for not playing games...... Just a thought........ Peace.......
2006-12-02 02:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by Martini-69 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sorry but not possible...no matter what you do..anything will lead it to some type of hurt in the heart...never ignore that would make you look like an idiot..not trying to solve his problems...just be calm about it and don't rush it and explain your feeling and thoughts clearly..good luck
2006-12-02 01:55:31 · answer #7 · answered by Mololina 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's difficult but it can be done. you can let them know that you are flattered by their attraction toward you but that you aren't looking for a relationship right now.
It depends on how this person is approaching you, what they have said or done..etc...? Will you elaborate??
2006-12-02 01:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by Queen Momma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell them that you wud jus rather be friends bcus there lyk a brother or a sister and it wud be weird 2 date sumone lyk dat....and say i hope dis doesnt hurt our friendship...but most likely there feelings will be hurt no matter how u say it...
2006-12-02 01:54:30 · answer #9 · answered by sexc playboi bunny 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
talk and laugh alot with them like any other friends, then pretend to talk to him how interested you're in another guy. if you aren't interested in anyone, then talk about the type of guy you'll not be interested in. hehes.
2006-12-02 01:57:17 · answer #10 · answered by rachel 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋