I have problem with my wife & my mother.Both hate eachother staying in same house . can any one help me in bringinig these two ladies together so that I can get PEACE of mind. Thanks
2006-12-01 17:41:59 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
when you married your wife you took a vow. your life is with her now and if mommy can't get along, then mommy needs to go! tell her that and see if she doesn't snap out of it.
2006-12-01 17:43:44 · answer #1 · answered by phe_03 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very easy to solve. A marriage is a covenant between two people, husband and wife. While parents should still be honored and respected always; not to the point of breaking up your marriage. It is never a good thing to move in mom, and she should know that. Tell your mother that you love her very much and always will; however, you are a married man and have a commitment with this women until "death do u part". Talk to her as an adult to another adult, not little boy to mommy, this will make a big difference. Your mother should understand, if not, as the man of the house you have to make a decision of moving your mom out into a comfortable place, reassuring her that you still love her and will be there for her. Your wife comes first.
2006-12-02 02:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by Beautiful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have each of them to write down exactly what it is that they "don't like" about the other person. Have them exchange this information. Then each must write a response as to how they will try to make the thing or situation that irks the other person better (a compromise is in order here!). Once each has their response list done, you make dinner for them both so that you all can reveal the responses (the person that wrote the response will reveal what they wrote). Make sure that everyone promises to not scream or yell at each other no matter what the responses are, and that you will speak first after everyone has read their list. You will serve as the referee, making sure each lady gets to give her response without interruption. After said information is given, let both of the special ladies in your life know that this is paining you to see them dislike each other so much and that this was the only way you could see to get to the root of the problem so that you all could get on being a family instead of a household of ememies. Let them know that if they cannot respect each other and come to a reasonable compromise, as to getting along, that you will consider moving out of the house for awhile----just so that you can get some peace!!! Let them know that "as the man of the house" you will not tolerate their bickering with each other any longer. Let them know that you love each of them, but in totally different ways, so their should be no competition between them. If they both love you, they will re-evaluate this situation and you all will have regular sit down meals together----with peace and harmony.
Hope this helps!
2006-12-02 02:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Justice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Not an easy one. I grew up with a grandmother in our house - my dad's mother in law. And for years they didn't get along either. So I know how hard this can be.
You don't mention your father, so I"m going to assume you're the head of the household here. I would suggest sitting these two women down for what my friend calls a "come to Jesus meeting".
Seriously, I think it's just a chance to get super honest together without getting upset or angry. Respectfully tell them you all have to live together for now, (unless you don't, in which case the problem is easily resolved!), so you need them to bury the hatchet and try to get along. Don't try to reconcile the specific issues - you can't possibly change how they feel towards one another. Also, let them know how their hostility makes YOU feel. If you work hard all day and then come home to bedlam and chaos, I'm sure it makes you not want to come home at all!
Make sure they understand how it affects you (and any children that might be involved????) They may be blinded to that side of the equation for now, but the hostility isn't directed towards you...they might behave better once they realize you're a victim of it nonetheless.
If you CAN convince them to behave like adults and be kind to one another - regardless of personal feelings - then you've probably won the battle.
Honesty without brutality always worked best for us. Be open, but treat them with respect and let it be known you expect the same in return.....and the way for them to respect you is to get along with each other.
Good luck!
2006-12-02 01:54:46 · answer #4 · answered by CassandraM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
AH the classic mom and wife fight. Both control freaks have to be over everybody all the time. Or perhaps they want to be the head of the house in the female position and they can not take sharing thier main man (you) the fights are about you...it is just on a subconscience level to you and them. tell both that all three of you all need to talk and say whatever they need to say to each other and stop walking on eggshells, you will need a mediator for this session weather you go to a shrink or to anther friend who has an un-biased opinion that can help you guys out. Or you can always just tell them to shut-up lol just playing!!! Hope that you achieve "shalom in your home"
2006-12-02 01:50:21 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
manipulating u is fun?, c this as better this way, the head game is on you they enjoy it, i think because, it is a style of Independence that is theirs to make of u, maybe if they were the same u wouldn't give each the attention u do, and that may be comforting to u to know that it is in the commotion and upheaval that u are on ur toes doing for each, I'm i somewhat right as to the fact that they don't want to play it ur way, it's called the "Grey area"-that's where u just don't go, it's a womans thing, guys c it but their not inviting u to change it) in a head game each wants what they want and it works for them, women don't care if u struggle they like to help but that would be too easy. i know this is weird but a balance world would soon bore some people so these could be the variables and they change too
2006-12-02 01:53:04 · answer #6 · answered by bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your situation is like Isreal vs Palestine, its hard man, when they 2 dont get along it technically means they hate each other, and whn hate comes, there is no solution for peace....you r stuck in a hard situation mate...
there are 2 ways you can sort things out;
1. You must explain to your mom and wife tht there shld be peace, talk to them and ask whts the problem. There will be quarrels and bitterness but atleast you will sort the problem once and for all...
2. Move out
2006-12-02 01:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by Jendralus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey i feel bad 4 ya
anywayz my mom used to live with my grand parents 4 20 yrs and they had a hell of a time(fights each and every day) with each other.
now they are they both live in a different house and can u believe it my mom calls and she calls my mom too.
this al comes down to u moving in 2 ur own house and ur mom her owns and they will be happy and they won't fight and also u'll have peace of mind.
so try this ur mom(maybe) and wife will love u 4 it.
good luck and don't streess ur self over things that sometimes don't matter.
i hope u find an answer to my reply
2006-12-02 01:47:18 · answer #8 · answered by Hally berry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, this is the state of most families in India & that's why so many saas-bahu serials are thriving on the TV. The best way is to not come inbetween them. Better still if you can move out with your wife.
2006-12-02 02:12:59 · answer #9 · answered by sonal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want some peace then just leave them with what they r doing.
see try to understand that you cannot leave them, so just wait and watch.
give love to your mom and wife.
what you feel just tell them.
you can emotionally blackmail them that if this thing will go on then you will leave this house alone. just say and pls don't do it :)
tell you mom in personal that she should give your wife some time to adjust
and order(with love) that she(wife) should respect your mother in law.
dear everything go will don't worry too much
take your family for movies and dinner.
2006-12-02 10:22:06 · answer #10 · answered by sweety 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes this is the real problem . i think you should talk to your wife and help her understand that till now you have lived with your mother and she is in a habit and it will take some time for your mother to realise that now you have your own life .at this time she is not getting enough attention from you as she used to and this frustation is getting out in little things . you should also talk to your mother also and let your wife to help her in her personel work . this will help.
2006-12-04 02:58:50 · answer #11 · answered by gunchu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋