I'm okay, but I'm not beautiful. If you saw me on the street you would probably look right thru me, most people do. I have alot to offer inside and have shown it many times. I'm a great person; however, I have never really been loved by a man, so why do I keep hurting myself thinking I ever will? Please no 'stop looking/trying and love will come to you when you least expect it' please. Some years I try, some I don't so that is just a meaningless saying at this point. I'm 40, so I have years of experience with love not finding me - trying or not.
2006-12-01 17:36:18 · 14 answers · asked by Sky 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Men are visual creatures by nature.
Love at first sight is perhaps not in the cards for you. Still, who are we to tell you to improve yourself, or work on this or that? It's unfair, but many men long for the pursuit of love, based on merely a physical perception. Most can't look beyond the physical appearance of a person and see the inner soul.
I firmly believe there is someone out there for everyone. You can only be you. You obviously are a realist, and have struggled with finding a man.
There is always a chance. At some level, what you do and who you are make all the difference. You think there is a chance, because there is. All you can do, is be who you want to be, be a good person, and don't define yourself by how men judge you.
Not much of an answer I know...
2006-12-01 17:51:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey Sky! I am a man (no bashing ladies hear me out). I believe the answer above this one is about the most honest answer you will get. However, I would like to add a few things.
Are you looking for love or sexual attraction? You question kinda mixes the two. If you are looking for love then are you watching those men that are around you the most? The ones that know you for you? Or are you looking at those that are physically attrative to you but they do not know you? What I am saying is: don't mis-whats around you because your always looking somewhere else. Be you, respect you, and then those around will notice. Make sure when you aim for that guy that his qualtites (not just looks) satisfies who you are. Remember loving someone else is not for everyone. Many people find love in children, closeness of family, a pet, a job, etc. You said you were 40, so don't miss out on what you have trying to get what you don't have. In all; Make sure he knows what you are wanting and that your views align. Don't start inveting a lot of time to find out that he was never intending to take things further.
2006-12-01 17:58:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all before getting to know how other peope think about you...you should take time to think what you think about yourself. do you have hope and confidence in you..i think if you did..you wouldn't write negative things about yourself...you stated that people on the street see you and look through you and you also said that you have a lot to offer..this means you have a beautful heart filled with many desire..its not the looks that matter they come and go but the beauty of your heart is always going to be found within you...so dont feel bad ..it's the men that are missng out from a great person...dont try to hard and dont regret anything done..wish you the best of luck...have confidence..
2006-12-01 17:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mololina 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Seriously, you may not want to hear this, but you won't find love until you are happy being with yourself and by yourself. Don't let what you don't have get you down. Turn to your friends, your family, your dog... whoever, and be glad for the love you DO have in your life. Enjoy yourself, and others will enjoy that about you. And love doesn't "find" everybody. Some people actually need to be proactive and "find" love. Get out there on the scene, meet people and show them what you have to offer. But first decide what you really want out of a relationship, and why you want it, or you may constantly be let down.
Good luck and love life!
2006-12-01 17:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by ;-) 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, make yourself attractive. then act it. Men find different things attractive but it starts off visual. You don't have to be "beautiful" but don't be frumpy and mousy. A very very slight touch of non offensive perfume. The right kind of shoes, be sexy, slightly flirty but not desperate. You want to smell like a stripper but not a whore. Throw away all the crap food in your house and eat really really well. Your mood and complexion will change.
Instead of trying to find love, ....be love.
2006-12-01 17:45:51 · answer #5 · answered by Logicnreason 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I see that you needed to vent and someone to read and relatem, and hear what you have to say and i hear you. I am only 21 years old. I am so glad that i learned from a young age that you have to carry yourself with confidence. Men see when you doubt yourself...you ever wonder how ugly girls get cute guys..ummmm thats why they have confidence they say i know that i am ugly and i dont care i still am going to get me a man. And you should do the same not saying that you are ugly but when you start thinging you are hot and you got what men want they will see it too!!!
2006-12-01 17:44:20 · answer #6 · answered by Danielle 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I know this is no comfort, but there are many sisters like you. Either we have never met the man, or we met the man, and he did not love us back.
I am not a dork
2006-12-01 17:39:40 · answer #7 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your own yahoo 360 blog says "One must continually change strategies in life in order to achieve goals."
From my perspective the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
So a change is in order, perhaps in perspective, actions, attitude, routine, hobbies, activities, friends, something................
2006-12-01 18:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by hogie0101 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey...my name is Jeff....believe me...I can definitely relate...there really is no such word as "In Love"....look in the dictionary....you'll find the word "Love"....and in that definition it says;To be in love....so...in essence...they are one in the same...and with so many definitions for the word....how can you really define it...." I love my family "....." I love my car "... " I love spring and summer "....." I love my dog "...." I love milk and cookies ".....now if you look at my love for things....you'll see how that definition changes in each ...I don't love my car like I love my family....and I don't love cookies and milk like I love my dog...confusing...is'nt it....so the definition for love should be this..."Love...A special bond or feeling you have for someone or something that if it was to disappear from your life you would miss it dearly " (that's just my opinion)...When it's defined in a relationship it should say..."Finding that special friend that you can spend the rest of your life with together under one roof with out killing each other".....So to say the word "In Love" to someone is just our way of saying .." If I was to lose all the things I love ...I would miss you the most"....So stop looking for that false definition.....find a friend to whom your most compatible that you can live with under one roof with out killing each other that you would miss the most if you lost....
2006-12-01 18:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by Shelley N 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you should really hold yourself in a different aspect. men are attracted to the "dam the world" kind of girls. it's confidence you're lacking my dear. be bold, say "I'm beautiful" besides who's judging this beauty contest? models? tell them to eat something! walk around feeling beautiful and your confidence will radiate to the men. Good luck chica.
2006-12-01 17:41:17 · answer #10 · answered by phe_03 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋