It's terrible to live with a person like that. He is big, won't go to work, has greasy hair, his stained underwear shows off on top of his pants, he smells the whole house up and even the couch where he sleeps. You could smell his armpits from miles away. Disgusting! And flatly refuses hygiene, but he thinks he's the all clean, well doing kinda guy....please help, what to do?? He's otherwise a nice person, just how do we tell him to clean his act up and get to work?
2006-12-01 17:01:40 · 31 answers · asked by McMurdo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Is he depressed? Lack of hygiene and poor motivation (won't find a job) are signs of being depressed. Are there other signs? (Sleeps too much, won't interact with people as much, etc.) Otherwise, his wife needs to talk to him, as she is the one who knows him best, and it's a lot easier for her to say "Hey, wasn't the last time you bathed three days ago?" Or, "Aren't those the same underwear you've been wearing for a week?" As for the rest of you, it depends on your relationship with him. If you are close with him, or have a pretty good relationship, maybe you can "joke" with him about it, like "Look, really, you don't have to worry about running up the water bill" or hinting, such as "So how's the job hunt coming along?" From the sound of it, he's living with you (?) or your parents (?), so ultimately, he needs to be given an ultimatum. If he's not working, and living with someone else rent free, what's his motivation to find a job? As far as he's concerned, he has a free ride indefinitely. And whoever is "housing" him is only enabling him in his irresponsible behavior.
2006-12-01 18:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by wendy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mc: He is suffering from depression and needs professional counselling for past issues in his life which are now, starting to rear their ugly "heads". Everything that you describe herein, is symptomatic of depression issues. If left untreated, he will go over the "deep end", and may even, take his own life - it is just THAT serious !!! When you are depressed, you give up on life because you lack the motivation to improve on yourself. Get him into counselling ASAP !!!
2006-12-01 17:09:57 · answer #2 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We teach people how to treat us.
Lay down the laws of the house.
And outline the consequences associated with not following the rules.
If rules are not followed carry out the punishment.
It's in your court.
2006-12-01 17:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by ixlinxs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out of the house then he will have to clean up his act and find a job to survive. He is just not going to change his ways as long as he gets a free ride. Sorry to be harsh, but it's true. Tough love.
2006-12-01 17:05:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you told him that he stinks? Has his wife? Maybe buy him a manly shower gel. As for getting him to go to work, leave out the want ads from the newspaper by his couch everyday. Eventually, he might catch on. Good luck!
2006-12-01 17:05:32 · answer #5 · answered by serendipity_siren 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like depression. That may require trying to urge him to get to a doctor to check out what is going on.
I'd also tell him you want to speak frankly and open with him, and relay to him what you are noticing and that you're concerned and wish to help him.
Worse comes to worse, invite over other ppl and let them inform him how badly he smells *wink* Ok that's a joke...well, maybe
2006-12-01 17:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by ??? LadyBoyd ??? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is as bad as you say, you need to be blunt with him. Any person that age knows better and he does know he stinks.It doesn't take a genius to figure out that if you quit supporting him, he'll get off his behind.
2006-12-01 20:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMFG my brother -in-law is the same way ,
he is like this annoying lazy *** self centered moron
he NEVER takes showers, and hasnt had a steady job since he found out what welfare was
2006-12-01 17:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kick him out of the house unless he starts taking a daily shower and taking care of himself.
2006-12-01 17:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by bigej65 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is he living with you or with his parents?
If he is living with you tell him to clean himself up and start looking for a job otherwise he has to move out.
If he still lives with his parents, let them deal with it.
2006-12-01 17:10:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋