Is there any good way to end a relationship?

Question

I have been with my feince for 4 years and engaged for 1. But there are so many problems with our relationship. First, he is a mean drunk and he drinks alot. He also talkes to girls that he says are just his friends for 3 and 4 hours at a time in the middle of the night when he thinks I am asleep. He constantly accuses me of things like cheating on him, all the time, I'm beginning to think he has a guilty conscience. What I have listed here is just the tip of the iceberg. We also live together further complicating the situation. I would really appreciate your seggestions.

Answer 1

Honey I think you know its time to move on that is unless you are willing to spend the rest of your life living with a drunk that is mean. My suggestion is to get out, and a good way to end the relationship is to be honest and do not make him let you feel bad for it.

Answer 2

I suggest you leave immediately. There were so many red flags just in your description. Take a look:

1. He is a MEAN drunk and he DRINKS A LOT
- Huge red flag. So he's an alcoholic. That's a road to trouble

2. He talks to GIRLS in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT when he THINKS you're asleep (for 3 or 4 hours!!)
- What is this all about? Why? For what? Why the sneaking?

3. He CONSTANTLY ACCUSES you of cheating on him.
- It is known that a person who is cheating, often does have a guilty conscience and will turn it on you by accusing you of the same thing.


This doesn't sound good at all. And you said this was only the tip of thie iceberg. I would get out of there. Move out of there and get out of this relationship that will only get worse if you stay there. There is no "easy" way to end a relationship. Just do it, and don't let him make you feel bad for doing so.

Answer 3

Hey, i think you should just broke up, because you guys are just engaged right now and already having problems, wonder what will happen after the marriage... If he drunks and talks to another girlfriends at night, then there is something fishy there.... And if he constantly accuses you for cheating then i think you should find a guy that will respect you and trust you... Marriage means love him/her trust and care ... but if you don't have neither of them, then i think you have a problem... i think you should move on... and let him go... before you get more into it... and for sure you will find a great guy...

Answer 4

I think you two should sit down and talk bout it. If it doesn't work out then be separated for a while and come back to the round table and talk again.

What i suggest you to do so is because sometimes we may missed out some good values of the partner as we are getting tired or bored of the monotonous lifestyle. You can make hasty decision when you are not cool as in the first place you are in love tat's why both are you are engaged.

Satisfied yourself that your decision is correct for ending the relationship then just give him a letter for divorce.

Answer 5

I feel for you...it doesn't sound like your fiance is such a winner. As for your question...in this case, sit him down while he's sober...maybe have a friend nearby in another room without him knowing it, just in case he got out of control (just to be safe). And just be honest, tell him you deserve better --which you do-- and that it's over, and if he's at all mature, he'll accept it and let you move on.
Just make sure you get out of this relationship before it's too late! Free yourself! You have no reason to stay with such a man, and mean drunks are dangerous. You deserve better than that, every woman does.
I hope this helps in some way. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Hi there,

Ending this relationship is going to hurt you and maybe him too. There is no way to avoid it hurting, however, you can choose to be civil and diplomatic when you do end the relationship.

Assuming that you are painting an accurate picture of this guy, it would be wise to let him go, even if you love him, as he does not sound like a very kind or considerate man. Also, if he cares for you as much as you care for him, he would not be having any realationships with other women.

May you choose what is best for you.

Answer 7

U have to deal the situation firmly but politely. If he does not show any change in his style of functioning and u can not stand him in the present style, better end the relationship after giving the reasonable time frame for mending his ways. What is reasonable, u ask him and accept it w/o any arguments. If u r getting impatient, u can ask him for different time frames for different changes that he promises to implement and act decisively if he fails and u r convinced that he has not made sincere efforts.

Answer 8

There is no good way. You either stay and make it work, or treat the festering wound like pulling a band-aid. Get it over with quick.

Just pack your things, get them out of the house, then tell him you have movied out, and its over.

Sorry that sounds cold, and harsh. Trust me on this one. Being nice when breaking up only sends the wrong signals... and you'll just be worse off than you are now.

Answer 9

Ending this "relationship" should be easy for you. He is horrible and he does not love you. Of course he will whine and cry when you do because they always do this. He loves being able to have you when he wants you and have the freedom to fool around with other women. Get out of this situation fast and do not look back. Have some self respect.

Answer 10

you have to leave him. no doubt about it. this guy obviously has some insecurity issues and when you are married, the abuse will only get worse.

i think the best thing for you to do is move out when he's not home and go somewhere where he will never find you. ask friends and family for help. get the police involved if you have to. they can protect you from him while you pack your stuff and they can give him a restraining order.

if he is abusive, i wouldn't tell him face to face that you want to leave him. he might beat you up.