Ok, not really a question but thought everyone could use a good laugh.which is your favorite?

Question

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
>the last one is great!
>Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
>words back... or that you could crawl into a hole?
>Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
>
>
>
>
>FIRST TESTIMONY:
>I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
>and asked loudly,
>"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a ********?"
>I turned around and walked back out and never went back
>My husband didn't say a word...
>he knew better.
>
>
>
>
>SECOND TESTIMONY:
>I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
>I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
>After browsing for several minutes,
>I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at
>the
>store.
>He asked if he could help me.
>Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
>with
>mens balls"
>
>
>THIRD TESTIMONY:
>My sister and I were at the mall and
>passed by a store that sold a
>variety of candy and nuts.
>As we were looking at the display case,
>the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
>I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
>My sister started to laugh hysterically.
>The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
>To this day,
>my sister has never let me forget.
>
>
>
>
>FOURTH TESTIMONY:
>While in line at the bank one afternoon,
>my toddler decided to release
>some pent-up energy and ran amok.
>I was finally able to grab hold of
>her after receiving looks of disgust
>and annoyance from other patrons.
>I told her that if she did not start behaving
>"right now" she would be punished.
>To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
>threatening,
>"If you don't let me go right now,
>I will tell Grandma that I saw you
>kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
>The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
>Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
>I mustered up the last of my dignity and
>walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
>The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams
>of
>laughter.
>
>
>
>
>FIFTH TESTIMONY:
>Have you ever ! asked your child a question too many times?
>My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and
>I
>was
>on him constantly.
>One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between
>errands
>It was very busy, with a full dining room.
>While enjoying my taco,
>I smelled something funny,
>so of course I checked
>my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
>The realized that Danny
>had not asked to go potty in a while.
>I asked him if he needed to go,
>and he said "No".
>I kept thinking
>"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any
>clothes
>with
>me."
>Then I said,
>"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
>"No," he replied.
>I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was
>getting worse.
>Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ?
>This time
>he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
>bent over, spread his cheeks
>and yelled
>"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
>While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
>he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
>An old couple made me feel better,
>thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>
>
>
>
>LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
>This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
>and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
>in the future, likely think before she speaks.
>What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
>We had a female news anchor that,
>the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
>turned to the weatherman and asked:
>"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
>Not only did HE have to leave the set,
>but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
>
>
>
>
>Now, didn't that feel good?
>Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
>and remember
>we all say things we don't really mean,
>so think before you speak

Answer 1

OMG you almost made me pee in my pants hahahaha. Very good.

Answer 2

You first ask if all people merits 'a funeral' yet your final sentence says 'funeral provider'. the two are no longer the comparable. All ineffective people could be disposed of in some way and that's 'the funeral' yet once you're asking no remember if or no longer all of them deserve a provider to 'see them off' then the respond is 'no longer likely' yet maximum do get one because of the fact people think of that it relatively is the element to do. If somebody has been dreadful, hateful, risky, merciless, and so on. to exhibit others then the thank you to easily tutor contempt for the guy is to no longer take place at notwithstanding is arranged and take no area interior the arranging. you may no longer quit others arranging certainly one of those function yet no-one is accountability guaranteed to attend. i've got prevalent fairly close kinfolk stay faraway from funerals and purely go away others to eliminate the physique. it fairly is their thank you to protest because of the fact of what the deceased did to them. it fairly is comprehensible. the only selection to having a funeral could be to easily sell off the physique someplace and go away the animals cope with it. it fairly is illegitimate interior the U.ok. as our regulation says that all and sundry bodies could be 'disposed of in a casket' of a few form. we don't use physique bags right here yet coffins and the regulation demands that no remember if the guy merits it or no longer. If the deceased left no money for his/her very own funeral and different kinfolk refuse to pay then the guy will receive a paupers funeral - a bare needs one.

Answer 3

That was hilarious! Here's one I just heard on t.v. It was one of those cooking shows, where famous chefs prepare dishes and food critics critique them. This particular dish was "pea salad." One of the critics took a bite and said "I really like this one b/c there's a lot of pea-ness in it" ( just say it to yourself). One critic nearly choked on the bite she was swallowing, the others started laughing hysterically.

Answer 4

WOW, that`s great. I like the last one 2. Thanx. Now i can tell something more 2 my friends.

Answer 5

The woman who wanted to know about that eight inches she didn't get! Laughed so hard I hurt myself.

Answer 6

hilarious. I copied and pasted them into my e-mail so I could share them with others later. I know someone that would get a great laugh from them.

Answer 7

Thank you for a very good laugh

Answer 8

I have to go with the last one (Female news anchor)

Answer 9

Thank you for that i needed a good laugh you made me cry.

Answer 10

Bravo, looks like a good stand-up routine. You can make money
with this stuff if U can memorize it all.