I need advice. Badly.?

Question

My boyfriend is amazing. Our relationship is the greatest I have ever known and better than most of my friend's relationships. The only problem is, he has recently began pressuring me for sex. I already told him I want to wait for marriage. Most people would say "Leave him, he's not good enough for you." But I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And he feels the same way about me. I don't want to lose him over this! What do I do?

Answer 1

"Not good enough for you" that isn't very nice of people to say about someone you care about. He is a guy though, and its completely natural and healthy for him to want sex. Peoples (especially men's) hormones haven't caught up to our need to lower the population. It wasn't too long ago that people started having kids (responsibly) at 17 and had a lot of kids at that (like 10, to help run the farm or whatever). So, anyway, you have to be understanding that he is hot and racing to go and he cares about you and wants to physically express it. On the other hand, if you have reservations about it, want to wait for marriage and all that, then you will regret it if you give in and it will hurt your relationship because you will probably resent him. This is my advice, try to be really understanding and tell him how much you care about him but that you don't feel right about having sex yet. Then, tell him maybe you should break-up because you understand his passion to have sex and if he wants to explore physical relationships to that level maybe he should date other people. Tell him how sad it makes you but you don't want to taint your beautiful relationship by doing something you aren't sure and don't feel right about yet. But and you have to be ready for this....he just may do that!!!!! But, and this is the good part, he will see how some girls are don't respect their bodies, marraige or their convictions and he will have double or triple the respect for you and realize what he lost. If you are still available and in love with him he will always treasure and respect that you followed your beliefs while not holding him back from his individuality and needs. No other woman will hold a candle.He may have even learned a few things and not be awkward in bed.
Boy, I wish I would have done that. My Mom did that and my Dad loves her 38 years later like nobodies business.
just remember this, don't get married too young just to have sex though. It is my beleif that sex before marraige is better than divorce when you have kids who may suffer. Take your time, think about your true beliefs, and try to act on good judgement and what would make you feel good about yourself. You have homones too and their is no shame in sex, Do you really WANT to get married at a very early age or do you want to be independent for a while? I don't know which is better and it probably depends on a lot,
but if you want to save it, you do that honey, your husband will appreciate it, but also remember, it is a gift of yourself to him, not a barter or a trade (meaning I want to give you my virginity and I want yours) and its not
a tool to get a marraige proposal.
If you are unsure of a decision and you have the time, you will never regret not acting on that decision until you absolutely have to or the answer comes to you on its own.
. One more thing, and I'm sorry to go on and lecture so much...but make sure he understands that if you two break up you will miss him so much and be sad and also probably very jealous of any woman he starts dating so ask him to be considerate and try not to flaunt it around you. That'll get him, his heart will melt for you.....unless I've got it all wrong.

Answer 2

You have two different things here that well would confuse any guy. You want to spend the rest of your life with him… that's a big statement… huge commitment…. aren't you living now? So why wouldn't you let your lifelong partner have sex with you now? Are you waiting for some five dollar piece of paper to commit you?

Well to people can be very compatible with clothes on it's interesting how people can actually be very incompatible with close off. The whole virgin thing at the wedding is pretty much lost into the 40s and 50s. I mean even a preacher that's marrying you probably had sex with one of the choir boys before asking you to join hands.

This is the guy you wanna spend the rest of your life with and you're going to deny him sex now? Let's take some scenarios.

You let him have sex with you now and that does not turn out to good …as a matter of fact you find out that is all he wants or he no longer cares…. you know you just found out that the person you're in a spend the rest your life with… after sex…. turned out not to be good. It would be really horrible to go down the road a few years with someone and then find that out after you get married.

Mark
Author GirlsTellAll

Answer 3

How can you say you want to spend your life with him but haven't even been with him in the most intimate way possible? Now I am not saying go have sex. However if you are a virgin, you should wait but if you just want to wait because you think all your dreams have come true and want to be the "white dress bride" well I think you should be intimate with him. If you are going to really consider marrying this man, you better hope the two of you have chemistry in bed so you won't regret that you didn't sleep with him first because he sucks in bed and is insensitive. He already sounds insensitive to your needs and that can carry into the bedroom as well, don't forget that.

Answer 4

You won't be sorry you waited. You don't say how old you are, but that wait could be a long time. You say "he feels the same way about me" no, he's hard up and he will tell you ANYTHING to get into your pants. So you don't really know if he does or not, it could be his little head talking. When you get together do things in groups. Try not to put yourself in a place where it is hard for you to resist. Once that balloon pops, nothing else matters. You will never get it back. You will kick yourself in the @ss for the rest of your life if you give in and then you end up breaking up. You have your whole life ahead of you. You have plenty of time for sex after you are married. I dated a guy that said he would never marry a girl that wouldn't have sex with him before they were married. I loved him more than anyone...(at that time) we are divorced now. I wish someone would have talked to me when I was young, before it was too late. You live and learn. If you do it, you will learn a hard lesson. If you don't, you will be eternally grateful for keeping your standards. I know you think he's "the one" Please know that you will meet LOTS of guys in your lifetime. And you will love them as much as you love him now, if not more. Don't give up what your really want for what he wants right now.

Answer 5

First off your relationship isn't as great as you claim if he is pressuring you into doing something you do not want to do. If he can not accept you want to wait until marriage find a man that can. I do not understand why women even ask these questions if you do not want to have sex do not have it if you lose the guy over it then obviously he didn't care for you the way he claimed or he wouldn't pressure you into doing something you are not ready for.

Answer 6

if he really loves you then he wont pressure you, trust me im a guy and i have been in that possition, try taking a break from him and tell him that u do love him, but u dont need him pressuring you to have sex with him, if he truley loves you he will let it go, and if he does have respect for you then everything will be fine, and if he cant handle it , u might wanna re-think the whole thing about spending the rest of ur life with him.

Answer 7

You never gave your age, and I giuess you are under 15. Many are promiscuous, but in reality., most relationships do not work out. Therefore, if you deciude to have sex, be assured there is a great chance it woun;t be the one you marry.


If you are over 17, and you are not having sex on relgious grounds, figure out why that is so important to you. It is controls placed on us which are unnatural. That being said, you do indeed have control of your own body.


As i

Answer 8

you have not got any excuse to be jobless. You sound as undesirable and as dumb as my ex. There are jobs everywhere, you basically could open up your eyes to work out them. quit being pious and which will resolve a lot. Cockfighting expenses money, and that i'm confident the money which you're dropping on animal cruelty is the comparable money you got, probably with the aid of tension, out of your destructive spouse. No ask your self she left you. Your spouse merits that youngster. no longer you. She is the single with the maternal instinct, she's the guy who's been putting foodstuff on the table for that youngster, and enable's settle for it, toddlers choose their mothers better than their fathers because of the fact mothers upload that heat element to any residing house... a minimum of maximum do. needless to say, you sound like an fairly undeserving ascertain. you're incorrect in lots of stuff. shame on you!

Answer 9

Hi Samantha, you are great and respectful girl. Please saty hard at your decision for not making sex before you are married. Sex has no relation with love (before marriage), it is lust only. But after marriage, it is the most pleasant and noble thing you have to do.

Look, sex is the end of love. It will devalue you and your strong personality. Your friend should respect you and your decision.

If he still insist, it means, somewhere there in his perosnailty was sickness.

Good Luck.

Answer 10

I am a guy so definitely favor for sex, sorry but I am a man hope you understand that.

But on the other hand it is really complicated situation. The wisest thing is let it go for some time maybe weeks and moths and see one another.