She is 6. My sister is in hospital having another child and her husband is with her. I have my niece at my house and my nan is here too. My niece is acting like a spoiled child with no regard and she broke my sweet nan's heart tonight. I am so angry! She'll be here another 3 weeks. My nan is knitting sweaters tonight for Christmas. She has been doing this for all of us for 35 years. We rave even when the sleaves are too long, or they are getting crooked because she can't see. And my niece says, I don't want one of your ugly sweaters, they're stupid and no one is going to wear them. I could have strangled her looking at the crushed and confused look on my nan's face. She wants something different than the rest of us for dinner, won't get to bed on time, speaks very rudely and is all around abnocious. What can I do? Please--some solid experience needed here.
2006-12-01 16:04:29 · 9 answers · asked by donewiththismess 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Use psychology. She is obviously doing it for attention. Ignore her temper tantrums, and ignore her when she is being rude. When you give her attention, she is gettin reinforcement to repeat these behaviors. Even punishment is a form of attention, so it is still giving her reinforcement.
Also, explain to her how she hurt your nan's feelings. At that age, msot children are still egocentric so they can't see from oher's points of view, but explain it to her as if she was making pictures for people and someone was like oh I don't want one of your ugly pictures.
When she wants something different for dinner, do not give it to her. Again, that is reinforcment to repeat her behavior because she knows she can get away with it. Tell her she will eat what everyone else is eating, or she won't eat at all. Also tell her if she chooses not to eat, she won't have a snack or anything else to eat until the next meal. This may seem harsh, but it will work, and should only take a day or two.
About the bedtime thing, there is obviously a reason she wants to stay up. Say its for a TV show... tell ehr that if she does not go to bed when you tell her to, she will not get to watch the TV the next day.
2006-12-01 16:12:47 · answer #1 · answered by emyloohoo2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She apparently needs extra love and tlc. Sit her down and tell her that what she said to your nan was wrong. That she knits those sweaters out of love. And have her draw your nan a picture to say sorry. Most six yr olds don't want to eat what everyone else is eating for dinner. Just tell her that she only has to eat what she wants but wont get a treat later if she doesnt take 6 (one for each year) bites of everything. It works with my 6yr old!! As for bed time, tell her she doesn't have to go to sleep, but she has to be in bed (looking at books, or playing quietly) at a certain time. She might be up late the first night, but will crash earlier the next. Good luck and its only 3 wks!!
2006-12-01 16:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by elloel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you should have pulled your niece to the side and tell her that what she said to nan was very rude and hurt nan's feelings, and tell your niece to say sorry to your nan. As for bedtime everyone is different. If she keeps on getting out of bed then just put her right back in. But if she is just not going to bed then you need to make a "star chart" make a calander of the three weeks you have with her, and tell her that if she is polite,and goes to bed on time then she gets a star. If she gets lets say... 4 stars in row on her star chart then she gets a special treat or prize. It will encourage her to be polite and go to bed on time and you will probably have a nicer and more enjoyable time with her. Good luck!
2006-12-01 16:13:05 · answer #3 · answered by pinkpearl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should explain to her firmly what the rules are in your house and that her behavior won't be tolerated and if she acts like that then she will be punished. You will probably feel guilty putting restrictions on your niece because that just makes sense, but if she's staying with you, you are doing your sister and her husband a HUGE favor and you don't have to change the way your house is run for them--that's like 2 gigantic favors. You should talk to your sister or her husband about what's going on and explain to them that you are "laying down the law" and that their daughter will be punished.
2006-12-01 16:28:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like my Boyfriends son except that he is 12. The only way I could get his behavior to improve was not allow him to visit for a while after he:
shoved me out of his way
swore at me several times
laughed in my face when I told him to do something
made messes in the house, lied and said I did it
He had a toally different attitude after he wasnt allowed here for 6 weeks.
2006-12-01 16:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by eastcoastdebra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe u should ignore her. Make like she didn't there. If she comes there near u and Ur nan's just ignore her. I do it when my niece did his crazy thing and didn't want to listen what my nan's said. Then she might realize that no one would pay attention to her. Then she slowly to change!!.....
2006-12-01 16:19:54 · answer #6 · answered by aizakid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of all of the answers given, no one suggested
a good paddling. She has to learn not to hurt or
sass older people now, or she will go on doing
it forever - spank her bottom you will be doing
her a favor, and teaching her a valuable lesson
at the same time ( don't spare the rod )
2006-12-01 16:36:05 · answer #7 · answered by trebor2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell her that was rude to say to nan.
Then give her extra love and attention as it seems she is seeking ANY kind of attention (negative).
She's probably unsure about everything right now - new baby, staying with you, etc.
2006-12-01 20:10:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well she just 6 year old kid.
2006-12-01 16:13:10 · answer #9 · answered by atiq h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋