Am i doing too much for my kids?

Question

i have 5 kids and in the process of divorce i machine-wash their clothes,make them diff. breakfasts everyday,give them 30$ allowance in school,buy them new clothes every 2 weeks,buy them game consoles like (PS3,Wii,Ps2 and gamecube) when they want one,but them music cd's every week,hire a maid to clean the house for them and take them to HK Disneyland every 2 weeks...am i doing so much for them? they dont have chores but they clean up their game consoles once they're done with it...they are not rily that spoiled i smack them on the hand if they do something wrong and take away their game console for 2 weeks if they had a major wrongdoing....am i right for dong these things for them? buying them stuff once they want them its hard to know.....they are ages 14,9,6,3 and a 1 month old baby(of course i dont buy game consoles for the baby) help me on this! give me tips and answer this for me.:am i doing too much for them?

i did not adopt them they are my own they obey me and get good grades i love them so much we have family time

i DO spank them and i am just asking if they are rily spoiled!

Answer 1

Children are spoiled by too much stuff and not by too much attention. Yes you are buying them too much. They don't need new clothes every two weeks or cd's every week. If you're stressed then a maid is fine but kids should have chores (all except the one-month-old of course). Especially your 2 oldest could be doing their own laundry and helping more. You don't make great kids by giving them everything they want- kids become great by learning to help and work. It sounds like you discipline them (though I don't approve of hitting) but if you are really that rich then you should help your kids get into the spirit of helping others. If you want to buy new clothes every 2 weeks go do it and take the new clothes to the homeless shelter or something. Help your kids adopt a child each for Christmas. I'd do away with the video games- they're not good for kids brains. They need to play outside and invent their own games inside and out.

Answer 2

Every parents does the best they can. Children do not need so many things as they need a loving parent who spends time with them. If you can afford special games, a maid, and whatever, that is how you live. If your children are still angry or do not obey, then more parental participation would seem good, rather than buying them things. Some parents feel so guilty about divorce they wish to buy their kids love, but there is no need. The children will love both parents and the better you parent, by listening to them and spending time with them, while setting your own limits, the better for everyone. If you are worn out from buying and trying to give them anything they want from a store, it will only cause resentment in time. Having fun, is showing them your love, with hugs and fun time spent together.

Answer 3

People think I am looney strict. But I don't think you are doing too much. It seems you can afford to do these things. You do not mention any problems you are having with them.

So I am kind of assuming you have some rules and discipline. You do mention some of your punishments and if they are working that is great.

I am concerned that you are asking the question here.Do you sense a problem or a problem developing.? Do you feel the kids are getting spoiled? Are they beginning to act bratty?

Rules and discipline (and punishment--I am one of those nuts who actually thinks that spanking is real important--my kids are punished less than most but spanked more) are ESSENTIAL. I sense you need more of this and more structure.

I do think they should be doing more around the house. This helps instill responsibility. It does not have to be a real lot. I expect my kids to make their beds every day and clean their rooms. And do things from time to time that are requested of them. I think you should start doing more of that.

So in sum--no problem--but add some discipline, structure, responsibility (and maybe some spanking) in to the mix.

Answer 4

Every mother wants to do good by their children. Its good that ur kids get good grades and are good kids, but in the process of spoiling(over spoiling) u not teaching them the value of a dollar. the oldest kids should be cleaning their rooms, helping out. $30 allowance thats alot and you are making it all to easy for them. I know that you know you r doing too much or u wouldn't be asking this question. Kids need a mother not a friend and u seem to be buying their love instead of them just loving u because you are their mother,

Answer 5

You must be rich! If you feel that they are not spoiled and that they are well behaved kids then I don't really think you are doing too much in a sense that they're going to grow up selfish and whatnot. But I think if you're paying them allowance and doing everything to please them, not too mention raising the five of them in the middle of a divorce so you're probably completely stressed, i think they can do some chores to help. It's great that you love your kids so much and want them to have everything their little hearts desire but you should let them know that sometimes mommy needs a break, that way they will grow up wanting to help people. Be strong.

Answer 6

You sound in the same boat as me, the only thing i can take away they like is the games and playing outside with there firends. Make them do some work around the house and earn some money that way. Or for good grades.

Answer 7

if you keep this up, your children are not going to learn work-ethic or value money. most likely, you will still be supporting some of them when they are adults because they don't know what it means to really work. just remember that buying things for people, children, is not a way to express love. i am sure you love your kids, but your time is worth more than these games. children just want attention, they think they want consoles and clothes, but spoiling children only makes them rotten. give them your time not your money.

Answer 8

you know that is wrong, you spoil them too much, give them love not material things, it sounds like you just give them things to not waste your own time and you pass them onto other things. That is wrong, and you should stop giving them everything right now, you are going through a divorce, you need to think about spending more time with your children. They'll get addicted to t.v. save them now. Limit the time on the games

Answer 9

well the 9 and 6 year old should take turns cleaning the bathroom and taking trash out if u have money like that 30 dollars is good are your doing things for your self are u doing games for the baby to keep the baby interactive

Answer 10

Yea you are doing too much for them.. You are showing them that they can get stuff for basically doing nothing. They are going to grow up thinking that it can happen. You can spoil your kids, but also teach them that if they want something they have to work hard and earn it. Why don't you use that money you are blowing on them and put it away for their College education, something that they will actually need later in life