My parents house is messy, always has been.My aunt and uncle are coming to visit them for a few days, and now all of a sudden they want it cleaned up. I am thinking of offering them one hour to help clean tomorow.The reason I dont offer more is because my aunt and uncle are coming at the last minute, and I have spent HOURS in the past cleaning the house for them, only have it look like a tornado went thru a few days later. It is messy enough that even if all 3 of us worked all day tomorow, it would still not be totally clean.They got a little mad today because I would not come over after work and help them clean. Telling my aunt and uncle not to come is not an option, we have not seen them for years.The funny part is, my aunt is total neat freak, and will probably spend the visit cleaning...like she usually does. I feel bad even though THEY choose to keep the house messy. And this site is great for getting unbiased answers!!
2006-12-01 15:36:44 · 12 answers · asked by eastcoastdebra 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ran out of room..my question is, am I wrong for not cancelling ALL my plans this weekend to help clean, or is 1 hour enough?
2006-12-01 15:41:29 · update #1
the problem is my Mom is not a fussy housekeeper, my Dad does very little cleaning because he thinks its
"women's work". There is a good chance he will be watching TV while my mom and I clean. They CAN afford outside help. I dont feel like dealing with piles of dirty dishes, crumbs everywhere, newspapers piled up everywhere, mail all over every piece of furmiture in the house, the dog making messes, this sounds really bad but sometimes it just disgusts me to go over there. One time when I went over to help them clean they just said," NO!! Dont touch that!" every time I went to move something.
2006-12-01 15:49:24 · update #2
If your parents want to live that way and can, let them..it's their life..it's not your responsiblity.Set your foot down..tell them you are very busy or you are sick and you cannot come over and help. IF your aunt is a neat freak, she will find something wrong with the house even if it is TOTALLY clean and she will still find a reason to spend her entire visit cleaning. My family is the same way. I can spend hours and days cleaning my house..it can be perfect but my family will come over and see 1 dirty glass in the sink and say my house is filthy..nothing is ever good enough..they will take the clean dishes out of the closet to rewash them just so they can have something to do...If you give up your own life EVERY time your parents WANT something done, you might as well move back home. I am not saying don't do anything for them..they did raise you and feed you, clothe you, etc but there are limits..people will drain you. It would be different if they had told you ahead of time and you hadn't made plans.If your parents are like mine..it will go this. I offer to give them an hour and at the end of that hour I hear this in a sarcastic voice "well, just go then..I don't know why I ask you to do anything..After everything I have done for you and you can't do anything for me back..I don't need you..just forget it". If what you have to do is so much more important than me than just go.. you know..guilt tripped into staying 3, 4, 5, 6, hours and overnight and 2 nights...sound familiar...I am telling you..and if your dad gets sick enough of looking at the "women's job" he will get up off his butt and do something..if not, let it stay that way.
2006-12-01 18:24:56 · answer #1 · answered by chilover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they can afford to have a cleaning service come in and clean it. I would look up a couple of cleaning services for them in the yellow pages and give your mother the phone numbers and tell her to call them. I would NOT go over there and clean that house. I would call my Aunt and warn her not to come if they do not get that house clean. That is unacceptable behavior from your parents!! You don't need to help them. You work!
2006-12-01 16:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by skooter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Id say what you are doing is fine... Just offer a drop of your time.. If your parents arent willing to keep their house is a somewhat orderly manner, let the other relatives see the truth.. Dont sugar coat it. Maybe it will be a wake up call for the slobs..
and dont worry about it... If your parents dont care about living like that and your relatives continue to want to visit,, it shouldnt be any bother to you...
I have one weird aunt like that.. for 20years she has lived like a hermit.. She wont throw anything out (and wont clean for that matter) you have to kick things out of the way to make a path to any room.... Thats just her.. We know to stay at a hotel when we want to visit her (I dont know what would be residing in her bed sheets..) But she is sweet and kind non the less.. We just take her for what she is... We still love her and visit her..
2006-12-01 15:42:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mintee 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is not your responsibility to clean up behind your parents. I am glad you are responsible and did not allow yourself to become a slob. It obviously bothers you that they don't clean up behind themselves. Your parents can afford to get their house proffessionally cleaned. Tell your mom you are busy and suggest she do just that. If she doesn't then let her know she will find herself totally embarassed once your Aunt and Uncle arrives. Also, tell her you will be embarrassed for her but you will not be responsible for it.
Don't fret about it... you are on your own now... worry about your own.
2006-12-01 16:00:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy Shut Your Mouth 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them that you have 2 or 3 hours of free time to help them. In the end, it's their house and their responsibility to keep it straightened. I know lots of people who do this and then it goes right back to the same old mess. Maybe a good gift for them would be someone to help you and them clean the house. It could be their christmas.
2006-12-01 15:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If I were you I would just bite the bullet and help them clean it up. After all, they did raise you and work all their lives to give you a home (even if a messy one). My parents passed away. I will spend my fifth Christmas this year without them. I would clean their entire house with a toothbrush on my hands and knees to spend one more Christmas with them.
2006-12-01 15:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
you know you sound like a great kid . i dont think it would hurt to help one more time . if nothing else so your aunt wont have to do it , and you know maybe this is some special time you have with your aunt and uncle . you know some people like a challenge . i know i do .
2006-12-01 19:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by janice a 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hire a cleaning company to come in and clean the house or let it go and do nothing it might wake up mom and dad.
2006-12-01 15:41:22 · answer #8 · answered by larlonewolf 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it is very nice of you to think about helping them. but you no longer live in the home. i would not go over and help. they are adults and maybe if they get embarrassed enough they will learn to keep it clean.I'm sorry but i would let them clean it on their own.
2006-12-01 15:41:28 · answer #9 · answered by here to help 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It isnt your job, if your parents want to live in squalor that is there problem, and isnt something that you should have to 'rescue' them from. If your parents arent happy to do it themselves then it just wont get done!
2006-12-01 15:40:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋