our relationship has been magnificent until this. this is the only problem we have had. it upset me so bad the first time he asked that I had a nervous break down, (was crying so hard that I threw up, got a headache so bad I couldn't see, and then passed out for 2 hours). he promised me he would let it go and not ask me again. but now he wants me to have a threesome, still. I know its a guy fantasy, but why do we have to live it out? I don't want him with another girl, if this happens I am going to be crushed and not be able to trust him again. I have told him in these exact world how much I don't want this but he thinks that b/c I am curious about other girls it would be good. how else do I get him to see that this will ruin our relationship? I don't want to leave him, but if we have a threesome I can't stay (I told him that too and he still thinks he can change my mind) :-(
2006-12-01 15:33:21 · 13 answers · asked by soccer2music 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One big rule in active swinging couples is "if it doesn't work for either of you, than it doesn't work for both of you." This rule should be across the board for everything in a relationship.
If you don't want to do it than he should drop the subject. For some people, fantasies are better left just that... fantasies.
Everytime I've seen a couple have problems after swinging it was because, as in your situation, one member was coerced or manipulated into doing it and then resented their partner for it afterward.
When things like threesomes and swapping work it is because it is both of your fantasy and there is no having to talk the other person into it.
From an experienced swinger point of view, we (and almost all others) would steer clear of you two, and we would be able to tell you are not on the same page about this. It would be complete drama and no successful swinger wants to be part of creating drama in someone's relationship.
He really does have to drop it. Period. Again, if it doesn't work for either of you than it doesn't work for both of you as a couple.
2006-12-01 18:43:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, no offense to any man (including my husband) - MEN ARE PIGS!!! They simply cannot help themselves. They want things they see - is there any emotion involved? NO. Maybe you should tell him about a HOT guy you would want to have in a threesome with him (turn the situation around). If he is like most men, he will become jealous of this "unknown" HOT man and possibly realize how hurtful it will be for you (because he doen not want you with another guy). If not - UGH. What can you do with a guy who won't take NO for an answer?
2006-12-01 23:40:51 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A threesome is only appropriate if both partners in a relationship want to try it. If not, then it's not on the menu -- simple as that. It's incredibly selfish and disrespectful of your boyfriend to press you to be part of one when you've already told him you don't want to. If he doesn't care about your concerns, he's not worth being with at all.
2006-12-01 23:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by Blenderhead 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
looks like its time to move on. A man who trully cares about you should love you for who you are. He shouldn't think or even try to change you. I know it's a hard decision but in the long run if you stay in it he is only going to continue to pressure you with what he wants and not care about what you want. If you do end up participating in this 3-some which you are against it will only make you feel horrible and possibly even end up hatting yourself and him. The thing is it would be something you would have to live with.
2006-12-01 23:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by Ruth Less RN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man sucks. He wants this because why? To gratify his selfish lust? Do not even go there. If you do this, it will be in your mind for longer than the other memories of him. He should treasure you, not make you feel defiled, and pressured.
Please do yourself a big favour and drop him
2006-12-01 23:41:20 · answer #5 · answered by somebody cares 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a bastard! He is so selfish! Tell him your fears about it - the reasons why you don't want to do it; if he still insists on doing it, leave him to it with the tart he had in mind! You'll find someone else who's sensitive like you!
2006-12-01 23:37:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have already said no but he is still trying to change your mind. Tell him to get lost. He'sjust out for his own kicks, couldn't care less about your feelings.
2006-12-01 23:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell him that it WILL NOT HAPPEN! Tell him if he doesn' drop it that you will consider leaving him. Threesomes cause problems in even the strongest realationships!
2006-12-01 23:37:14 · answer #8 · answered by pelenpuppy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he doesnt care what you feel i would get out now let him find someone more his style and you find someone who cares about you and your feelings if he loved you he would drop it but he isnt going to so he is showing your feelings mean nothing to him i would never ask my girl to do that it just is not right how would he feel if you told him to do it with a guy probably get mad
2006-12-01 23:45:59 · answer #9 · answered by merlin2000666 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a pig. Break up with him now. He is no damn good and will ruin your life if you stay with him.
2006-12-01 23:40:13 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋