Should you want to have a threesome if your in a relationship?

Question

My bf said he wouldnt mind but its being unfaithful! Shouldnt he only want to do it with me?

Answer 1

if you're in an "open relationship", it's obviously fine; if you're in a very free and open-to-new-things kinda relationship, well it's just something different to try; but if you both openly and honestly discuss your feelings on the subject then you can come to an agreement about it. You can tell him that you don't consider it okay, and he should respect that. Personally, I think it's okay, partially because I'm the one that wants it.

Answer 2

You're very confused. Do you only find your boyfriend attractive and no other men? Of course not. A man's brain works a little different than a woman's. He "wouldn't mind" having sex with women he finds attractive.

Now think of this: do you ever put on makup or pick nice cloths to make yourself pretty when you aren't going out with your boyfriend? You do? Shouldn't you only want to be attractive for your boyfriend? Why do you want to be attractive to other guys? The real answer is, that's the way you're wired, you want to be attractive. A guy doesn't really care if he's attractive in the same way. So thank him for being honest rather than jumping down his throat or worrying that he was being unfaithful. If he were really being unfaithful, he wouldn't want you to think he was, so he'd lie and say you were the only girl he liked.

Answer 3

The question isn't "Should you want to have a threesome if you're in a relationship?" because for some couples the answer is "yes". The question really is "Do you want to have a threesome". Just becuase it is right for others doesn't mean it's right for you, and visa-versa. And that is okay. Different strokes for different folks.

From your answer above I'd say a threesome is not for you, especially from your use of the word "unfaithful".

For us it is okay. We have beeing swinging for several years and have done threesomes and moresomes. We don't consider it being unfaithful to each other because there is no deception involved. Unfaithfulness is deception. The definition of unfaithful from Websters: not faithful: a : not adhering to vows, allegiance, or duty : disloyal

We are in no way not adhering to our vows to never forsake each other because we don't. Our allegiance is to each other, and we are very loyal to each other. We are completely honest.

To us being "unfaithful" means we would be cheating, which is running around behind your partner's back. In short, being deceitful.

Sharing is not cheating. And that is what it is. For swingers it's not a matter of not wanting to only do it with each other, it's a matter of enjoying your partner's pleasure as much or more than your own. It's about fulfilling fantasies you both have that require more than two people to do. I get pleasure from seeing my wife having a good time, and visa-versa. It's not about either of us individually, it's about both of us together.

I feel the idea of not being allowed to think about sex with someone else besides your spouse is a completely unnatural thing invented by Western religion. It doesn't mean you have to act on it, but the idea that you can't even think about it creates tons of unneccessary guilt.

God created sex. Priests created marriage.

We don't equate sex with love. They really are two different things and some people are better at seperating them than others. And that's okay. Everybody is different. Love is what keeps you together when you are not having hot, steamy sex.

I think this is something most people don't realize about swinging; it really is a very unselfish act because you are helping your partner live out their fantasies while living out your own, too. You are sharing the most special part of your life (your spouse).

See, it has to work both ways. Swinging is the great equalizer in a relationship since it is something that is done for the couple, not just one member of it. It has to be both of your fantasy.

That said, IF you were willing to fulfill his FMF fantasy he should be just as willing to fulfill a MFM fantasy for you (if you have such). Again, it has to be equal, just like anything else in a relationship. He can't expect you to allow him to go out with the boys if he doesn't allow you to go out with the girls, too. It has to work both ways.

But, again; if it is not for you than don't do it. It doesn't mean it's wrong, it just means it's wrong for you. And your husband should respect that.

Answer 4

Wanting to be in one is different than actually being in one. I take it you are in a relationship. But you still find some men attractive. it doesn't mean you are unfaithful, just human. Acting on wanting one needs to be a decision two people make together. Set ground rules and go forth.

Answer 5

Depends on how you and him feel about the relationship that you are in, if this is a serious relationship then the answer is no this will only cause problems, but if its not ever going to be a serious relationship then its up to the two of you to decide. Good luck and have fun, remember you only live one life so choose it wisely!

Answer 6

Uh...it is a rare guy who doesn't want to have a threesome, regardless of whether or not he has a girl. If I were you I would find a really hot chick and tell your boyfriend she offered to be in a threesome with you. Chances are he will wuss out and you will laugh and reign supreme!

Answer 7

personally speaking if thats what he wants drop him, unless ya'll both are into that type of thing. if not what normally happens is this. afterwards he'll realize it wasn't what he thought it would be (which its not) and then you won't be able to get it out of your mind especially if you feel in doing so he cheated, it will slowly eat away your relationship. If you both don't feel the same regarding the matter then it will be a diaster in the end.

Answer 8

Depending on how long you guys have been dating... if you want to spice up you sex life then do it... but if it was my boyfriend I wouldnt want him haveing sex with another girl... I wouldnt mind her touching him and what ever but sex is more of a love thing and i wouldnt want that to interfer. It is up to you... if you don't feel comfortable bringing a girl in your sex life don't do it and if your sex life with him is not good currently then don't do it. work on your love life and sex life as a couple before desciding if a 3some is the best thing for the relationship or the sex life.

Answer 9

Married? No?...didn't think so. Not unfaithful. Just fun.

Answer 10

If you add a third person add Jesus he will help you overcome the desire to fornicate or sin if you will seek salvation. That is all you need, not a boyfriend and not even sex if you're not married. God loves you get out of sin. Live for him!