My son came home late.?

Question

My 14 year old son is supposed to be home by 9:30 one day we went out with his friends and came back home at 10:00! We punishes him by taking his cell phone away, and computer privlages. Then the next week he got his report card, all im saying is 3 D's an 2 A's a B and a C.
So we took his door off.
My father used to do that to my brother.
Believe it or not he is doing alot better with grades this year. My son has Dyslexia and he has trouble keeping up with homework. We got him a tutor. And his grades are improving....
Did we do the right tings by taking away privlages when he didnt diserve them.....except the door................you know i think he may need the door.

Answer 1

You totally did the right thing by taking away the computer, cell phone etc. My father used to do this to me, and it worked like a charm. Yes, please give him the door back. He needs his privacy if nothing else.

Answer 2

I mean this with sincerity and am NOT trying to be a snot, but I find it a little odd that you would be so harsh with your son for making poor grades when your spelling is so atrocious AND he has dyslexia. This of course is no excuse for poor grades, but it certainly means he has to work harder than most people. Being late ONE TIME for curfew deserves punishment, but it shouldn't be prolonged. I think taking away cell phone and computer for a week is completely reasonable. I don't, however, think taking the door off was AT ALL the right punishment for making bad grades. Your reason for doing so was because your dad did it. This isn't a real reason. If you think your son should be studying more and doing his homework more effectively, have him work at the kitchen table, NOT in his room. At 14, your son needs privacy. Taking away his door is just going to stress him out more, which isn't going to help his schoolwork. Don't be surprised if he spends more time in the bathroom "pooping" now that his bedroom door is gone.

Answer 3

Yeah I agree with everything, and I assume he has earned them back???? you could also try for every A $3.00 and every B 2.00, or when he brings in a good report card, give him a temporary extra privlage like an extra hour out with his freinds, or a sleepover with pizza and Ice Cream... I don't know.. it may entice him to keep up the good work!!!! as fas as the door..... as teens do need a little privacy..... and when growing in to man hood.... that is something he really is going to need... he don't want mom or dad walking past when he is changing or anything you know... It is a little embarrassing.

Answer 4

It really depends on your son. My older brother as well as my self have dyslexia. It never really affected my grades but it did his. He was even held back a year. Anyway my parents tried everything with him, they grounded him took away everything and all they ever asked for was to bring home Cs. It is really up to him and how he sees his future. It is a hard thing for a kid to look past the now, and see that messing up in school can affect his future. My advise to you is this, if you see improvement oh his behavior as well as in school with the actions you are taking then continue with what you are doing. If you don't see an improvement then don't continue to take stuff away you will need a new tactic. But you are doing the right thing by getting him a tutor, it shows you are trying to support him. Anyway good luck

Answer 5

Oh what a tangled information superhighway we weave. secrets and strategies are in specific circumstances safer whilst they only challenge you. This key's plenty too huge to think of of protecting. you have a husband who stayed homestead and took care of your son jointly as you have been out mendacity and sneaking around. wow (No beginning administration?? particularly??) You declare which you do no longer choose to lose your loved ones so which you for sure did no longer think of by this affair alright. If I have been you i'd in all hazard take the cowards way out and have an abortion without telling absolutely everyone. Then i'd end it with Eric until eventually now I lost each and every thing and take a verify out like hell to make it as much as my husband. in case you decide on for to have this infant you're able to inform Eric the actuality. it particularly is his or no longer. you're able to do you a DNA try whilst the baby is born and pray that it is your husbands. with a bit of luck, Eric will bow out gracefully at that element. If the baby is Eric's and you lie approximately it, there is an quite solid hazard this would come out. With each and all the medical tips obtainable something so straightforward as a blood try could practice it is not his. popping out later would be plenty worse. You made some very egocentric strikes which will impression a large variety of folk. i desire it exchange into particularly worth it.

Answer 6

Now a days...it seems that parents are more concerned about how their child will LIKE them....I have 2 teenagers *one girl and one boy...and I can't be their best friend and parent them at the same time....There are times they down right hate me...cause I take away privelages...I'll do it every time. Kudos to you!!!! Actually I'd have taken away...the stereo, tv, video games, etc..til the grade came back up!! Taking the door off?! NICE JOB!!! I NEVER would have thought of that one!!! I'd also have told him his time with his friends is suspended until he can learn that when you set a curfew it's for his own good!!! You are the parent and it's about time we parents started old schooling our children so they aren't the ones you hear about on the news...being out running the streets at 2 am!! Cause if you forgive and forget...it'll start getting later and later!!! (my daughter is 16 and VERY good at pushing her luck!!!) She just got a car...and I've already repoed the keys!!! Don't mess with me!! I said 8 pm...PERIOD!! KUDOS TO YOU!! AND ALL THE OTHER PARENTS WHO DO THEIR JOB!!!

Answer 7

Yes, you are doing exactly the right things. And surprise it is working. When problems started you cracked down. You found what worked for you and with your son. Keep it up--my hat is off to you.

And I understand about the need for privacy. But I wouldn't put the door back right away. Do not tinker with what is working. Maybe down the road you could do a trial run. But just keep things on track for now.

Answer 8

You didn't take away any "priveliges" to begin with. In order for them to be "priveliges" is that they have to be EARNED before they child gets them. You gave him things and then took them away as "punishment", no I don't think it's right. If you worked a 40 hour work week and your weekly salary was say $1,000.00 but because you're work slowed down a bit on last Monday your employer decided to only pay you $700.00 would you like it? Remember you were being punished for not keeping up with production...Basically it's the same thing.

Answer 9

I'd give back the door. They do need privacy. I almost did it myself but I realized when they shut/slam the door - that means they are closing the subject. If he can't close the subject it remains open.

On the cell phone, don't take it away so he can call you if he needs you...but limit his calls to only your phone. Then, if he's in trouble you still get the call - but his friends are off-limits.

Remember, as long as he's learning - that's what counts. Even Abe Lincoln wasn't an A student. It makes learning more fun as well.

Answer 10

Of course you did the right thing! That is a lesson we all have to learn, you must work for your privileges. If you cant work or earn them then you do not get them. If you don't do this its like saying "Hey I can slack off and still expect to get all that I want". And if you ask me to many kids these days have that attitude, they expect everything for nothing. Sounds like you are just trying to be a good parent. KEEP IT UP! And about that door...make him earn it back as well. Good luck