I met this guy in college, we liked each other, but he told me once that we couldn't be together because he "couldn't do that to me", he "was still playing". So we remained friends, lost touch after school, found each other again. The subject of "us" came back up...we still have those old feelings for each other, but again he tells me he "doesn't want to get me involved in his problems" with his recent ex. I asked if he was for real or just saying that to be nice and he assured me that the feelings are there, but he really doesn't want me involved in the dumb stuff. Can a man really care about someone he's never had that type of relationship with, or is he really just being nice and not saying he's not interested? When is a woman worth giving up the games?
2006-12-01 14:52:22 · 7 answers · asked by Alishia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In school he said he still wanted to play around, and now the "mess" is that his ex doesn't know who the father of her baby is.
2006-12-02 14:09:19 · update #1
Old feelings meaning he agrees that we've always been attracted to each other as more than just friends.
2006-12-02 14:10:26 · update #2
Leilani,
First, a question for you: what do you mean by "old feelings for each other"? It looks from the rest of your post that he doesn't have any real feelings for you. He talks feelings, but he doesn't live feelings. What "feelings" is he talking about? Have you asked him what he actually means? Maybe he likes you as a friend, but certainly not as anything more. Might it be that you have more feelings for him than he has for you?
If that is not the case, there could be a hundred reasons for his actions, and from your standpoint none of them are good because they would come from some personality disorder that keeps him from being close. Let's hope that that isn't what's going on here.
The most likely case I think is that "he's just not that into you," an important saying to keep in mind with a lot of guys. If "the feelings are there," he'd be doing something about them. After all, if he has an "ex," he does do something about them sometimes. Apparently it's just not with you. I would believe that not wanting you "involved in the dumb stuff" is an excuse. It sounds nice, but it says a whole lot less than it sounds. She's an ex, right? They weren't married, right? There were no kids, right? So how would you be involved in dumb stuff? What dumb stuff? Did you ask him?
Take him at his word. Give him enough respect--more than he's showed you, anyway--to believe him. I know you really don't want to do this, but let this particular dream die. It's not a goal-type dream, it's a fantasy-type dream, and it's not going to go anywhere. It'll just get you stuck in a one-way relationship.
Did you ever see the 1960s musical "The Music Man"? It has a song in it, "Being in Love," in which Marion the Librarian sings about the guys she's been in love with. The songs ends with her saying that it would be nice "just once" for someone to be in love with her.
That's what this relationship sounds like. It's been all on your side and none on his. Let it go, and find someone else who can love you back. This guy obviously can't.
2006-12-01 15:12:32 · answer #1 · answered by eutychusagain 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is telling you one of 2 things. He is interested but he has so much drama and Baggage he doesn't want to drag you down in it Or he is just saying that to not hurt your feelings cause he is not interested. So either way it doesn't really matter he is not a good catch. Move on. If he is someone with baggage and drama believe me you do not want to be involved with that your better with out it. Find someone else who is a good catch!
2006-12-01 22:58:46 · answer #2 · answered by Songbird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think a man just want to focus with what he doing right now..although sometimes he feel interest about girl,he cannot accept that because he had the ego.a man is an egoistic..
2006-12-01 23:08:24 · answer #3 · answered by tac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm, that guy is only playing on you and seem just to be nice
and interested to you... there are other good guys out there and
find that real man...
2006-12-01 23:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by dodadz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well wait till he's finished sewing hiswild oats
2006-12-01 22:59:42 · answer #5 · answered by thevillageidiotxxxxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is just being nice....move on
2006-12-01 22:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by danny's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that bull **** just find someone else
2006-12-01 22:55:07 · answer #7 · answered by demon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋