About 4 years ago I was 14 years old, I was druged and raped. During the 3 months when I didn't know I was pregant, I was in a abusive relationship, and was going through alot of stress and depression. Then when I found out I was pregant, I realize that I had to tell my parents this which was the hardest thing on the planet and my mother made me have the abortion because she made it seem like I was a bad f-ed up daughter, but i had a choice, to have the child and get kicked out of the house or have the abortion and still have a place to live. So i did the abortion. Now four years later, I'm still deeply depressed, i have surreal childhood memories of what she was going to be like and its killing me. I'm so scared to be in a relationship. I have tried many commiting suicide. I really neeed help? What can I do? Please?
2006-12-01 13:52:33 · 12 answers · asked by An Angel Without Wings 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Please call your local rape crisis center now. You haven't dealt with the rape or the abortion. You had no choice at that age. You were a child and you had to have your home and your family. You have feelings you need to deal with with the help of someone who knows how to help you cope. Call your rape crisis center, a suicide hotline, or a local crisis center. Don't wait do it now. Good luck.
2006-12-01 14:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hun I know what boat you're in. Except i was a little bit younger when it happened to me i was about 6 years old when it started and it lasted about 4 years. Well yes you can guess that it was a family member. I am so sorry your mom made you get an abortion. You are not the one that messed up your attacker was. This is not your fault and you couldn't have done anything to prevent it. I was scaed to be in a relationship as well until i found the one. And i wasn't scared anymore. I dated jerks and all these so called tuff men. But let me tell you i'm so glad i never did anything serious with them. As for you committing suicide that wouldn't be the right thing to you. You are here for a reason. When you are ready to die God will take you. You are on this planet for a reason and someday you will find out what that is. since you are 18 i'm guessing you should go see a Conselor. Make sure you go to one that makes you comfortable and that you feel comfortable talking to. And if you ever need somebody to talk to please feel free to email me. Cause i know what you've been through and sometime it feels good to talk to somebody who has been in your shoes. Take care and best of luck.
2006-12-01 15:14:09 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha M 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay, this is coming from a person who was molested for years as a child and who had an abortion at 19. I can only tell you from my personal experience and hope that I can somehow show you that other people go through it, survive and manage to live with it. DON'T LET THOSE THINGS DEFINE WHO YOU ARE. Don't pitty yourself, don't blame yourself and most of all, don't let those two events be the most important in your life. I'm not very religious but I do believe that God will never give you more than you can handle, and you can find in yourself the strength to move on. Look for a therapist and start talking about it and soon those are going to be memories from the past. Don't let that define who you are or where you're going with your life. I didn't. We're all so much bigger than that. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-01 16:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by anaba 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You said that you were 14 and you had an abortion because your mother threatened to kick you out of the house. What she did was not only morally wrong, but also illegal. She can't kick you out of the house until your 18 years old by law. I think you need to see a therapist to deal with your rape and abortion. They should be able to help you better then anyone on here. I am pro-life, but I don't feel that you killed your baby. Your mother scared you and pushed you in a corner. If anything your mother is the one that killed your baby not you. Your baby would still be alive if she didn't push you in the corner.
2006-12-03 05:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You can join a support group for people who have been raped. I think its too hard to handle being raped and forced to have an abortion on your own. You have been handling this on your own for four years and things have probably just gotten worse by not getting some help. You can;t change the things in the past and you had no control on what happened. You didn't ask to be raped and you didn't want an abortion. Just take control of your life now that you are older and can make decisions for yourself.
2006-12-01 15:02:41 · answer #5 · answered by terri 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are in trouble, and I think the trouble began long before the abortion or the pregnancy. The way your mother reacted to your circumstances is evidence that things were not going well in your family before you even had the problem. You need to start at the beginning.
How is it that you were abused as a child? Where is your father? How was your life at home as a 10 to 14 year old? What was going on. Were you being abused in some way, like abandoned or ignored. Were you sexually abused? Were you physically hurt? How about as a 5 to 10 year old? What was the situation at home like, and what were you struggling with at that time? And what do you remember from ages birth to 5? Were your mother and father together? If not, when did your father live with you? Is he still living with you?
Sit down and start writing your memories. Everything you can think about how it was to live in your home when you where a kid?
You must have professional counceling. Go to the County if you have to and tell them there what is happening to you.
If you have a church, tell your leader their what is happening. Ask for help.
If you still go to school, seek help and information there.
Now a comment about your immediate situation. There is a saying that fits the situation, "Don't apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem." You can get over what is bothering you. You need counceling and probably medication, like anti-depressants. But, whatever you need is out there to find if you will just do it, please.
Let me say also that faith is a mighty tool. If you will go about finding help in the right way, you will find it, and it will help you.
Faith is a form of knowing. Faith is a metaphor for the act of trusting the central power in our lives. If you have faith, faith well help you find what you are seeking, but you have to know faith. Don't make the mistake of justifing faith or proving God. Faith is the metaphoric leap from lost to found, from sick to well and from hopeless to hopefill. My faith tells me that God loves all humans. God takes care of everyone even though we doubt everything.
Also, we are all mortally wounded at some point, life is not finished with us even though we are mortally wounded.
No, god gives us all a complete life, but when it comes to god, forget all that you have heard and you think you know because the truth is not owned by anyone, but it is there for everyone. Your passage is paid to a full life. Please smile as you pass by me. Thanks for your question.
2006-12-01 15:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by zclifton2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You went through hell and had no support for any of this. I am not going to tell you that it was right or wrong because everyone is different. You really need to speak to a professional about this. Your not a bad person for the decision you HAD to make. If you call 211 they can have a therapist call you back and advice you further. The call is free and so is the therapist when he/she calls back. I have used that number many times and was referred from there on. I cannot imagine have to go through what you had and are, please look for someone to help you. I wish you well!
2006-12-01 14:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by Casper 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you need to see a doctor. You're 18 now? You have so much life ahead of you. Please see a therapist and get this off of your chest. As much as it will hurt, talking about it will help you understand where you are now and see where you are headed. This does not sound like a list of issues you can handle on your own. You come across as feeling very guilty about what happened. It's time you stopped feeling that way and learn how to move on. Find a professional who can help you do that.
2006-12-01 14:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by mreheather6 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some one help her! I'm not qualified to answer anything like this. I'm going to pray that you will be given peace. You need to find a way to forgive yourself. I would try a teacher or a maybe a friend to help find agency that would offer grief counseling.
2006-12-01 14:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I really don't have much more to add that has not already been said. Just wanted to urge you to please call a support line. They will be very supportive and help you.
I really do wish you all the best.
2006-12-04 21:52:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋