Bully in Kindergarten?

Question

There is a boy in my son's kindergarten class who appears to have hitting issues. I noticed this boy on a field trip i attended around the first month of school. He hit about everyone in the group. I scolded him about 5 times before the teacher pulled him from the class. Apparently, the other day while they were in line, he grapped my sons hand, twisted it back then punched him in the stomach. He made my son cry, and now he is embarrassed. How should this be handled. Apparently the kid was taken to the office, but i don't know what resulted in the end. The teacher never made him apoligize to my son today. What should I have my son do in the future?? I don't want him to be a wuss, but i don't want to teach him to be a bully back. (yet in the back of my mind i want to tell him to sock it to him) How do i teach him to defend himself when the time is right? I just want to do the right thing. Thanks

Answer 1

You shouldn't have to teach your son to defend himself at that age. I would raise hell with the school and then the kids parent if the school does nothing. Make a huge deal of it because if it is not your son, its someone elses. Why should he have to defend himself at a school?

Answer 2

Getting him involved in a Taekwondo class or some other form of martial arts might be a good idea. They will teach him discipline and self control, while teaching him how to defend himself. Sure you don't want him to be a wuss, but you need to make sure he learns WHEN is the right time to fight back. Or else, you may face the problem where a kid says "you're ugly" or some other mean comment and your son feels hurt and thinks it's right to punch him in the face. You definitely don't want that either.

About the school situation, you should talk to the teacher and ask what has been done about it. Talk to the principal if necessary, but you don't want the other kids to find out you're going above and beyond to get the bully reprimanded. (That may anger the bully more and cause him to let it out on your child). Make sure you keep everything private and confidential.

Answer 3

Since you have already brought it to the attention of the teacher, the next step is the principal. If that child is too violent to be around other children, he needs to be in a different environment. Simply scolding a child will not nip the problem in the butt. Once you inform the principal, and if nothing is done, you can approach the school board. Inform them that irregardless of the childs age that if he touches your child again there will be a problem and lawyers and/or the police will become involved.

I have always taught my children to defend themselves ONLY when attacked. They were also taught to go to an adult if there was a problem first and they were also taught not to start fights or be bullies. If my child were ever to strike a child first then they would have had to deal with me first and i think that scared the beejesus out of them so they told on the other child first.

Your child has a right to feel safe at school. If they cannot provide that type of envrionment, they are setting themselves up for a hefty lawsuit if a child really gets hurt and they knew there was a possibility that would happen.

Answer 4

First of all, I totally agree with CF_ , but I will add that the 'bully' could possibly have emotional problems, not just learned problems, and may need referred for evaluation. If you do not feel anything is being done after you have met with the teacher and principal, you have the right, and should, demand that the school do something. If your demands aren't met within the school, take it to the school board and/or superintendent.

A word of caution to you - in the future, do not scold or in any way try to discipline others children at school or on field trips. This is the teachers responsibility, and you might be setting yourself up for liability. If there's a problem, point it out to the teacher, he/she will appreciate it.

One other thing - Keep a (dated) log of any notes, calls, or any contact you have with the school concerning this... it may be of benefit should you have to take the matter higher. DO try to work within the school first though.

Answer 5

Speak with your son's teacher or principal to ensure your son is protected. If your school does not have a zero tolerance policy on bullying, you should speak with the school board about enforcing one.

My 5yr old boy takes tae kwon do. I was picked on a lot as a kid.. even jumped when I was really little.. we live in a much nicer area then I did but I think it's important to learn self defense and know that violence is always a last resort. This would help him from mocking the behavior.

Answer 6

Sadly schools of today are not allowed to discipline children any longer. I'm not talking about "corporal" punishment I'm talking about removing the offending child from at least the classroom. Because of Columbine and other mass killings within schools they have gone in the other direction and basically "coddle" those who break the rules and who make it difficult for those chldren who DO follow the rules. In my day when a child was physically abusive to classmates the child was removed and his parents had to find an alternate education system; homeschool, private schools, private tutoring. Now the rest of the class has to suffer. The idea of martial arts is a great one, while it will not teach your son to fight it will teach him self control and to know when it is time to "fight back".

Answer 7

Take him to martial arts class, great self defence mechinism! The teachers already know this, and are obviously are not doing anything about it. Sheesh!! Shame on them. But if they are its not gonna do any good for the child, as it seems to me that child being the bully, is bullied at home by his parents. Perhaps he witnesses one of his parents hitting one another? That could be a reason why he is so violent.

Answer 8

Oh my.
You must be very upset. I think you are well within your right to contact the teacher and share your observations and concerns with her.

Tell her that you know that it is unethical for her to discuss another student with you but that you feel a need to know that the behavior is being handled. Tell her you aren't interested in the child's private information (he may have 'special needs') but that you are interested in the classroom protocol and how the situation is being handled and how it will be handled in the future. Tell her you want to know what procedures are in place to prevent such aggressive behavior (it is good to throw in one of those "I know boys are boys" comments here so that you seem understanding- but tell her it is affecting your son.

Tell her you don't want the situation to affect how you view her capabilities and you'd like to have a discussion to review the progress in 2-4 weeks. Tell her you'd like to know what she sees... if at any time you are unsatisfied with her response or her attention to this problem speak with the principal.


I was a teacher (high school) and I know that speaking with the next up is annoying for a teacher.

Good for you for looking out for your little guy.

Answer 9

Im struggling with this too. For my son, its older boys picking on him. Im afraid if he hits back he'll be hurt, if he doesn't, I dont want to make him a wuss, and when I tell him to tell his teacher, he is afraid kids will call him a tattle tale.

My hubby says, just let him handle it, he has to learn somehow, but that worries me too.
Guess I dont have an answer, but if you find something that works, email me, Id love to know.

Answer 10

I agree with your instinct on this. You can not depend on schools to take care of this--they truly are wusses.

Some one suggested martial arts class--I think that is a great idea--it will, if a good one is chosen, to not just phycacally deal with the problem if it presents itself, but to avoid having to do with self confidence and miminim use of force.

Wow--that is tough advise for kindergarten. I just have girls and I have told them to sock bullies back like that. And it has happened. But I really think the martial arts approach is better.