Some may say you don't REALLY know someone till you have had sex. Some will say wait til after marriage that is will be worth it. What do you think? Will he love me more if i make him wait? Or will i know if i really want to be with him after i find out what he is like in bed?
2006-12-01 13:07:48 · 60 answers · asked by Whit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Having sex with someone tells you absolutely nothing about that person. You'll take out what you brought in.
Sex affects men and women differently. If you decide to have sex with this person, you'll be changed in a different way than he'll be changed. There is no guarantee that these changes will be compatible.
Since you're asking, I'm assuming that sex is still special to you. If a long term relationship is your goal, and sex is something that you still consider special, it's extremely important to be sure that the relationship can stand on its own first. Sex doesn't make a bad relationship better. Sex doesn't make an empty relationship more fulfilling. Sex has no effect on these problems.
Here's some sure things:
- If he loves you, he won't love you anymore after having sex with you.
- If he loves you, he won't love you any less if you decide to wait.
- If he doesn't love you, he won't start loving you after sex.
- If he doesn't love you, he won't start loving you because you're making him wait.
If you're not sure whether you want to be with him and think that you'll know after you have sex with him, you don't want to be with him. Save yourself the grief.
Sometimes you'll learn more from making the mistake, though.
2006-12-01 13:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by Venzen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I could go for the joke - after marriage is divorce, before marriage is pre-marital relations, I would vote for DURING marriage. But to be serious, don't let others notions guide you on your decision. If you waited for the right person, wait a bit longer to give yourself unblemished in marriage. I don't know if making him wait would make him love you more, but it sure should make him respect you more. And are you saying that if he's not a good lover, every other thing that attracted you to him makes no difference, and you really wouldn't want to be with him simply on that basis?
Personally, my oartner and I had per-marital sexual relations, were engaged for almost 10 years, but never married. She was going through college (including post-graduate studies to get her Ph.D.) but when all was said and done, she went with someone more attuned to her new social status.
2006-12-01 13:20:42 · answer #2 · answered by Carl S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't believe in sex before marriage because of my christian values. but if you don't have that to stand on (which i do not know if you do or not), there are different ways to think about it. to me sex is a sacred thing that God has made for a married man and woman. if the man and woman both wait to have sex after they are married, they don't have anyone to compare it too. If you really love someone, and you have sex, and its not that good...you love each other enough to work on the areas that aren't good. Whether you make him wait or not, shouldn't be an aspect of whether he will love you more or not. If he really loves you and you want to wait, than he should respect that, but if you don't want to wait...i would just be careful that he is not using you for sex...i hope it works well for you and you make the right decision
2006-12-01 13:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by sasynsweet18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have it a bit switched around when you say "will he love me more if I make him wait." In reality, he will wait if he loves you... you won't have to make him.
I am personally a Christian, and the Bible condemns premarital sex. But, even if you arent, studies have shown that couples that have sex before marriage are nutorious for breaking up after a short period of time...
So, it is really up to you... do you want to give away something you can never get back to a guy who is going to leave you after he gets what he's after? Or do you want to save that special gift for the man you will spend the rest of your life with?
God Bless... I'll be praying for you.
-Jordan
2006-12-01 13:11:33 · answer #4 · answered by tayljo09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have it before a few times but then stop.
I would want to know his member is not bent at a right angle like one I saw, or that he does not have a hole cut in the base of it that the sperm comes out of like another one I saw, or that it is not 2" long like another one I saw. I also think that sex is necessary for most of us whether we are married or single. It is gonna happen. If he loves you more if you make him wait, then he has psychological problems that make him think girls are either virgins or whores, and trust me, you want to run from a guy that thinks like this. I think you should have sex before marriage and if the love is real for you he will still marry you.
I got married after I gave the guy the best bj of his life.
2006-12-01 13:12:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I persoally don't believe in waiting until marriage but I do believe that you should only do it if you are totally in love with that person and they l the same way about you. If you have too soon in your relationship, there is not much more to look forward to in your relationship and in the future things may fall apart or get boring. Also, if you do it too soon then your relationship may become only based on and you might lose the bond that you two have. If you decide to do it, just make sure that you really love him and make sure you are both educated and safe about what you are going to do.
2006-12-01 13:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by prettynpink0491 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are absolutely clueless when it comes to sex.......and that's the truth my dear......it depends on how much you value sex......but it seems to me that perhaps you haven't had sex yet. If you have then you don't have to worry about the painful first time. I would want to find out how good of a lover he is......you know foreplay, the whole deal before you're married. But, hey that's just me. I'm older and more experienced of course....If you're young I guess it's kinda nice to stick with that romantic notion. Your choice....and his.
2006-12-01 13:13:01 · answer #7 · answered by jazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before and after!
2016-05-15 17:23:18 · answer #8 · answered by Jennie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before
2006-12-01 13:08:51 · answer #9 · answered by AL 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I used to thinking waiting for marriage was right but now I just think I have to think wisely before I give it up. Will I regret the decision if someday we broke up or would I be okay with it because at the time I felt true love? I think that as long as you don't toss your virginity around and you listen to your heart you will make the right decision.
Plus, I really don't want to be a 40 year old virgin..
2006-12-01 13:11:02 · answer #10 · answered by Rx 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋