The Irishman who was shown the 69 position by a prostitute who
unfortunately broke wind in the middle of the act. He got up and
left saying ' i couldn't stand another 68 of those.
Here's a silly one:
How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the hatch.
2006-12-01 12:52:16 · 16 answers · asked by Bill UK 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
FIRE!
an irishman, an englishman, and a scottishman were playing chess in the middle of nowhere. suddemly they were surrounded by a really big army that wanted to kill them. the englishman pointed and shouted "tornado!" they all turned round an he got free. the scottishman pointed and shouted "tidal wave!" they all turned and he got free. the irishman just shouted "fire!" guess what happened.
AMBULANCE
two irishmen where digging a hole. one gets trapped. "call me an ambulance!" he screamed. "paddy is an ambulance! paddy is an ambulance!"
were they good? they where the only ones i could think of right now.
2006-12-01 20:23:36 · answer #1 · answered by melissa l 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nice Irish jokes. If you don't mind I'd like to share some jokes. Now here are some I'd like to share, see if you can recognize the pattern.
Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
Q. What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
A. Brown-bagging it.
Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
A. No one else wants it.
Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible.
Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
A. "Has the blonde left yet? "
Q. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A. The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.
Q. Why is brunette considered an evil color?
A. When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?
Q. What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A. The invitation
Q. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A. A hostage
Q. Who makes bras for brunettes?
A. Fisher-Price
Q. Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A. It matches their moustache.
2006-12-01 13:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Ann 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
What's Irish, made of wrought iron, and sits out in the rain?
Patty O'Furniture
What's an Irish seven course meal?
A six pack and a potato.
Did you hear about the gay Irishman?
He likes women more than beer
Help, they want me lucky charms!
2006-12-01 13:35:10 · answer #3 · answered by capnbeatty 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the main suitable Irish humorous tale I heard got here from an interview with Pierce Brosnan. throughout a action picture shoot he visited a bar. As he sat there together with his beer an Irishman approached him and asked "you're Pierce Brosnan, actual?" "sure i'm" the former James Bond spoke back "nicely then I basically have been given to shake your hand!" whilst they shake hands the Irishman appeared at his hand and stated "it rather is a targeted to to Halle Berry's *** i will ever get"
2016-12-18 06:07:13 · answer #4 · answered by melita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that second one is meant for the polish. jeez, at least get your stereotypes right.
And what does the first joke have to do with being irish??
You could just say... a man who was shown the 69...
come on now. you are truely a terrible joke teller.
Irish people are known for being drunk all the time and short like lepreicans and green. try making fun of that stuff. Just trying to give you a good idea for a new joke.
2006-12-01 13:03:47 · answer #5 · answered by nickkap1 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
lol here are some blonde jokes!
Blonde LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left cheek and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
2006-12-01 12:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by U.wanna.battle.me?! 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
not bad but ...did you hear about the Irish tap dancer who broke his leg..
he fell in the sink ...
2006-12-01 17:26:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
An Irish man walks out of a pub.
...
Hey, it could happen!
2006-12-01 14:14:09 · answer #8 · answered by Dreamer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here's mine:
What do the Irish sit on outdoors?
Patio furniture.
(Patty-o)
2006-12-01 13:11:08 · answer #9 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Brilliant, and don't take any notice of some of the a**e holes above. Well done
2006-12-01 19:19:57 · answer #10 · answered by Shredder 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋