Baked Beans - very very funny
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him
that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a
small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk
off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at
the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of
baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon
my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly:"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he
returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of
the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let
one
go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and
fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I
ripped off three more.
The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully
tuned
to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few
minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a
few
more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on
it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had
peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this
point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around
the
table chorused:
"Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-01 12:47:14 · 11 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
OMG! That's sooo funny! But if I was one of the people sitting around her, I would have started laughing uncontrollably or fainted myself!
2006-12-01 16:28:56 · answer #1 · answered by Pibb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened to the car?
2006-12-01 12:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by El Camaleon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked the fertlizer truck running over a skunk at a pulp mill part, Thanks.
2006-12-01 13:05:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sue Chef 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was mind blowing.
2006-12-01 12:55:17 · answer #4 · answered by BugsBunnyGal4eva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg!! thats sooo mortifying!
2006-12-01 21:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by Jayce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lollollollol lmao that is so funny
2006-12-01 13:35:01 · answer #6 · answered by kd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.....man thats gr8
2006-12-01 12:53:17 · answer #7 · answered by adi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh MY God...She only fainted..I would have died!!!!
2006-12-01 12:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by Sherry D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahahahhahaha
2006-12-01 14:14:18 · answer #9 · answered by from lalaland 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was freakin awesome!
2006-12-01 12:51:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋