why do guys flirt with girls but don't ask them out?

Question

i flirt with guys I like and they seem to flirt back -- but I can never get them to the next step (asking me out)! I will NOT ask a guy out

1. why do guys flirt with girls but then nothing comes of it (they don't ask me out?)

2. how can I get them to take the next step? I've already shown interest by flirting, isn't that enough of a clue...maybe I'm doing something wrong....

Answer 1

Some guys will flirt even if they have no intention of asking you out. Like the other fellow said, they just see it as practice, and if that's the case then nothing you can do is really going to make much difference. My advice: take it as a compliment that he finds you interesting enough to flirt with, and move on.

For me, though, and probably for most guys, when I'm flirting with a girl, I am looking for some sign that she's interested in me, and if I don't get a clear signal or if I get a danger sign (like she checks her watch or backs away from me), I'm not going to pursue it any further. The trouble is, we men are not subtle creatures, and we can also be quite thick. Sometimes we need to be clubbed over the head before we notice what's right in front of us. You may actually *be* flirting with me, and think you're being obvious about it, but it's flying right over my head because for me it's too subtle to notice. Just smiling a lot and chatting with me isn't enough - that tells me you don't find me repulsive, but it doesn't make it clear that you're actually attracted to me. My lady friends smile and chat with me too. So what's obvious enough to get it through his thick skull that you're not just being friendly and want to be asked out? Grabbing him and snogging him senseless would certainly do the trick, but I'm not suggesting you have to go that far. I'd say make lots of eye contact, act interested in what he's saying (even if you're not), lean in, don't lean back, compliment him about something, touch him on the arm or the leg, "accidentally" brush his foot with yours. If I get that kind of attention from a girl (especially touching or compliments - those are like the "holy grail" signals) and I'm interested in her, I'm definitely asking her out.

If being more obvious with your flirting doesn't work then I don't know how much more you can do to get him moving, if you don't want to take the initiative yourself. One idea is to ask him about places he likes to go - could be a restaurant, a club, a favorite store, even a museum. If he mentions a place you like too, then tell him how much you enjoy going there, mentioning that it's ESPECIALLY fun going with other people, and see if he'll take the hint. If you don't have an exact same favorite place, but you have one that's very similar (say you both like Italian but frequent different restaurants), then you could hint to him that he might enjoy trying your place with you, or that you might enjoy trying his for a change.

Hope that helps!

Answer 2

It's how you flirt with a guy and who starts it. If he is a friend then it's all about friendship. Depending on your age makes a differences. To get a person to ask you out after flirting with them you can not unless you are willing to go to bed with most boys. If he a friend then talk to him and let him know that you and others are going somewhere and ask him along. You both will get to know each other better on a friendly base and neither of you should feel off keel. If he like you he will ask you out.

Answer 3

Sounds like you've got your mind made up already? Making sexual comments to other people while in a relationship is not appropriate in my opinion, and it shows no class what so ever. You obviously do not trust her, and since you attempted to end the relationship, she probably isn't 100% convinced you're in it for the long haul making her insecure. Try to reason with her calmly as not many people respond well to being told what to do. Let her know that her actions don't allow you to trust her fully as you need to do to be in a healthy relationship. After that, she'll either sink or swim. There is no sense on beating yourself up over this, she may not be able to offer what you need to be completely happy. You're young, and have the rest of your life to find the one who can fulfill your needs if she can't. Unfortunately, a lot of young people out there put being popular before common sense, and making or accepting sexual remarks is not common sense. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think they are practicing their skills. You might try playing hard to get with one of the guys who is flirting and see if he asks you out. But if you like a guy and he seems interested, there is nothing wrong with asking him out -- "I am going to a movie that I hear is great -- want to go with me?" Or something like that. If he says no, then at least you tried and you know where you stand. What's the worst that can happen? Being rejected won't kill you, and one of these times it will work. And he might be the one.

Answer 5

Because that's the way you play the game,

Be flirtatious and elusive don't ever let a chick know you dig her that's a friend zone guarantee. Like them one minute ignore them the next, this causes the girl to get all "What's wrong with me? why won't he ask me out" If you actually admit you like them your effed, that's why you never tell a girl you love them first, that's why you have to be an ****** once in a while to them. Its called girls are crazy so instead of being honest with how you feel you have to play games and play on their insecurity's.

Answer 6

It is often because guys like to hone in on their macking skills. I know that my brother likes to flirt with other girls and not ask them out especially when he is already in a relationship. If he does this, the girl that he is with will be more willing to go further into giving into having sex with him to keep him. He wants to flaunt to his girl that he can have alternatives. Paradoxically, if a guy is needy, then, why would he want to go out with her? We might find this to be horrible, on one hand, but if a guy gets all soft and begs to go out with us ladies, would we really accept even though he is a nice person? What if he says, excuse me, I am needy emotionally, and I want to really cuddle. You may see him anything from a creep, to Let's Just Be Friends. On the other hand, a guy who is sort of firty will be seen as being "Cool". It may not be right, but can you girls do something about giving the softer guy a chance? I know I would let him finish last sadly.

Answer 7

Some ladies are unapproachable. Many guys think the same way as you do, they won't ask you out even if they're dying for you. Keep your game tight and go for what you want.

Answer 8

Guys will always flirt with girls as the girls do with them. Perhaps they are not looking for a relationship or they do not find you girlfriend material. Lose the old school of thinking, if you like someone ask them out, there is nothing wrong with that these days.

Answer 9

Guys probably just wanna have some fun and don't think it's serious.

Answer 10

same reason girls flirt with the guys then say no, I just want to be friends. They're either stupid or scared.