How do you handle it when your toddler throws a temper tantrum?

Question

I was wondering how different parents approach this issue. As for me....my little one is 15 months old, I can ususally tell when she is just simply throwing a fit or needs something (food, changing etc...etc...). She doesn't act up too often, but when she does first I offer her something to distract her with (like my keys). Then if she is still acting out I just look at her seriously and say "mommy doesn't like your attitude right now." and then I simply ignore her until she is calm again. It seems to work quite well.

Answer 1

When my daughter would throw her tantrums she did it quite well. She would bite herself, throw herself to the ground, bang her head on a wall or the floor, and hold her breath. I ignroed it all, when she would scream I would simply state that I didn't want to listen to it and I would put her in her bedroom with the child gate up. Then I'd grab my headphones and go back to what it was I was doing before being interrupted, of course I'd peek in to make sure she was ok and she of course was. After she calmed down I would go in and we would "talk" it out.

Answer 2

I have a toddler right now and I've been told before to not give in to their tantrums. When you give in to their tantrums you let them know that they can get things by throwing a fit. When my son has a tantrum he gets 1 warning and I gently tell him that if he doesn't stop he will have to go into time-out. Time-out doesn't work for every child, but my kids don't like it at all because it means they can't play anymore and can't take anything with them into time-out. I also sometimes tell him that mommy doesn't like his behavior and that I won't respond until he calms down. I've found out that sometimes when I tell him that I won't respond until he calms down, he will calm down and they he realizes that I will listen.

So, as I was saying, just don't give in no matter how hard it is. No parent likes seeing their child upset or crying, but you don't want your child to run you and your household either.

Answer 3

As long as its effective and consistantly applied, it sounds like an excellent technique.

We constantly discuss what good behavior sounds and looks like, while we're out and about town or at home. We also talk about consequences of what happens for bad behavior (15 months is young, but not so young that they dont want to try to behave).

Ive done time out for kids I've nannied, and its pretty effective when used right, but in some cases a quick swat on the butt gets the point across in a tight situation for kids Iam raising.

My mom was excellent with this kinda thing, I learned from the best. We never threw fits, and certainly not in public. Not at any age. We might have tried a couple times... lol, but we just werent allowed.

Its amazing what kids will or wont do when they simply arent allowed to.

Answer 4

YOUR doing the right thing. Like some of these suggestions Spanking a 15 month old is wrong. HELL spanking is wrong.

My daughter is 15 months as well. AND around the 11 month mark she learned her tantrums. We just ignore. Make sure her surroundings are safe.

WE have been doing sign language with her. SO she can get her needs across. Sometimes she forgets. BUT we just ask her want she what. and she will sign it. IF not its just a little melt own and like others mentioned in 30 sec TOPS its done and shes back to running around

Answer 5

I'm still trying to figure this one out for myself. I have a 16 month old and he's recently discovered temper tantrums too. When he wants something and we don't give it to him, he'll really throw back his head and howl. It's very hard not to give in to him. I've tried my doctor's recommended approach to look him in the face and ask him why he's angry (obviously I know why he's mad but asking him is supposed to make him feel I understand he's angry) but he usually just ignores me and continues his wailing. So I usually end up trying to distract him with something else or carrying him and soothing him. Maybe my response is considered wrong by some parents, but I do not see how ignoring them is correct too when I obviously know he's upset. When I'm upset, I would like someone to console me too, isn't it??

Answer 6

My daughter is 17 months and occasionally has throw downs every now and then and we just ignore her (as long as she's in a safe area to be wriggling around) and she usually stops very quickly. She had on in the mall today and an older woman walking by who had to step around her told us that she did the exact same with her kids and it worked great in the long run and to just be strong.

Answer 7

The baby I'm caring for full-time (around-the-clock) is 14 mos old & just discovered temper tantrums. I completely ignore him & they tend to last less than 30 seconds, once he realizes he's getting absolutely NO attention for it. Hang in there!

Answer 8

You're approaching it fine, but I'd really recommend not telling her you don't like her attitude when she throws tantrums. The reason kids throw tantrums is for attention and by even addressing the fact they are throwing a fit is giving into them.

For example if she is throwing a tantrum, and you look down at her and say "I don't like your attitude right now" she has already won. She got your attention.

Now if she starts throwing a tantrum and you just walk away and not say a word, she hasn't gotten a thing from you and will learn that tantrums get her nothing.

Answer 9

Mine got a short but stinging spanking on their bare behind. Consequently this did not become a problem.

Answer 10

When my son used to act out, I would simply hug him and say "I can't understand you when you talk like that. Please use your words to tell me what you want." If he was flopping around on the floor, I would kneel down next to him and pat or stroke his back until he was able to calm down.

P. S. My aunt told me I shouldn't spoil him like that. I should "beat" it out of him. I don't believe in showing violence toward children. He is 26 now, and very well behaved.