I started dating my best friend about 8 months ago and things have certainly been rocky at points. i'm his first serious relationship since highschool and it's pretty obvious he's terrified. some nights he looks at me like we are going to grow old together and some nights i feel like i'd be less lonely by myself at home. he has constant mood swings because he hates his job and take them out on me. more recently, the swings have become worse where there are days where he can't contain himself when he sees me and there are days (like today) where he could give a **** what I want or need. The good days are good and the bad days make me cry. Is this an adult relationship or have i found myself someone who just needs me sometimes and tolerates me others?
2006-12-01 11:47:02 · 13 answers · asked by confusedandsad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's a relationship, but neither of you are treaing this much like an adult.
Have you communicated your frustrations to him? I don't mean whine--I mean talk. Have you discussed your frustrations with how he's been treating you?
You've only been dating for 8 months--this is a great time for a check point. Have a sit-down talk to discuss these things that are bothering you. Take hold of your relationship. It's time.
2006-12-01 11:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see where you are coming from. My boyfriend and I went through that awhile back, but it passed. The thing is, once you become comfortable with a person, you don't realize how you are treating them. You start doing things without thinking, and not realizing how it affects the other person. With me, it was just a stage we went through, and ever since then we've been great! My advice is that if this continues on, its just not meant to be. As much as you may want it to work, you can't force the relationship. The person and they're partner always have different perspectives on how the relationship should be, and that is where the friction comes in. You just have to realize that sometimes what you think is right, isn't always what they think is right. Talk about it with him, or if you don't feel comfortable, then give it time. If you really want to make this work, you are going to have to make a sacrifice, and wait for him to straighten out. Good luck!
2006-12-01 20:02:13 · answer #2 · answered by LOSTinLOVEchick (: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to admit.....it is not an adult relationship since your best friend clearly can't separate his work from his pleasure. He is letting things at work bother him to the point he is quietly ruining his relationship with you and probably other friends. He needs to grow up and realize that people are more important than any work or job. He needs to realize that he is hurting you and you need to tell him how he is hurting you. Don't let things continue like this......if things don;t change then you need to find someone else or stay away from him until he gets to the point where he can separate his work from his relationships.
2006-12-01 19:53:24 · answer #3 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your being to emotional. I think maybe he is. Have you tried telling him how you feel? He is probably the passionate type of person who goes to extremes one way or the other. Sometimes when people are having hard times in one part of their life, they tend to clam up with other parts. That doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't care about you anymore, it is probably just his way of coping with his stress. But you should not be on the crappy end of the stick. You should let him know how you feel and that you're concerned about the relationship.
2006-12-01 19:52:13 · answer #4 · answered by noway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a relationship. He is not. He is still a self centered child who doesn't deserve you.
Broken hearts mend. Broken minds are a little trickier. Go home. Heal. Start over.
Good luck.
2006-12-01 19:51:21 · answer #5 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would this be a situation you'd choose for yourself? It's not a healthy relationship. Maybe you need to be alone for a while to figure out what you really want. You probably won't miss the drama.
2006-12-01 19:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy needs some mental help ASAP no one should make you cry and no one should take their bad days on you tell him to shape up or your shipping out to a better mentally healthy stable man
2006-12-01 19:49:40 · answer #7 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's an unhealthy relationship...tell him to change jobs and get counseling...or you're history. You can only "be there" for someone to a point...after that they begin to drag you down with them. Only he can make the changes
2006-12-01 19:50:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is a lot more fact-finding to be done before anyone can give you reasonable advice.
2006-12-01 19:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by Thorsten S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think sometimes dateing you best friend is the worst thing ever cuz then if you get in a fight you wont be best friends no more so i think you should dump him easy and date someone eles and still be his best friends
2006-12-01 19:51:30 · answer #10 · answered by Quad M! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋