Okay Age for A Boy to Go to a Girls Bathroom?

Question

Yesterday when we were in a reataurant, my mother asked me to take my 4 year old brother to the restroom. I went into the women's room and a woman there who was not employed in the resturant told me my little brother wasn't allowed there. I argued back and let my brother use the toilet. The woman complained to the manager.
What do you think is an okay age for a boy to still be using the women's room if he can't help himself?

Answer 1

That's the determining factor, whether or not the child can use the restroom by them self or not. If it's just a matter of not wanting a young child to go alone a woman can wait outside of the men's room but if a child can't use the facilities without help then that's when it's OK to bring a boy into the woman's restroom. At least in the woman's restroom there are doors covering the stalls. It's not like a men's restroom where a little girl might see men standing at urinals.

Answer 2

I doubt the woman who complained has ever had children- certainly not a son. You did the right thing.
I have 6 children, 2 of them boys. I continued to take them to the women's restroom with me as long as possible.
There was a case near where I live many years ago in which a 9 year old boy was murdered in a men's restroom. I know details about what happened because my husband was friends with one of the policemen called to the scene. This child was attacked by gang members, who cut off his penis as part of an initiation. The gang members ran out past the mother, who was waiting outside. She stood there and waited until another man came along and asked him to check on her son. During that time, he had bled to death. I know this is gruesome, but there are people like that in the world, and we have to be aware of that and protect our children.
When I did start allowing my sons to go in the restroom alone I stood outside the door, and if I thought they were taking too long, I opened the door and called them. I didn't care who else was in there.
So, good job.

Answer 3

If a child needs assistance in a public restroom, or the parent/guardian (or in this case, big sister) is sent along to accompany for possible assistance or security, then I feel that it is acceptable for the child to use the restroom that matches their older assistant/companion's gender.

Thus, in your case, I think you are right to accompany your brother to the women's restroom. He either needs assistance, or at least the security of having someone he knows around. If the restroom is small, or does not have individual stall doors to its stalls, you may be courteous to other restroom users by first checking to see if the restroom is occupied before bringing your brother in.

The woman can complain to the manager about her privacy, but I think your case wins:
1. your brother needs someone there to help make sure he gets his business done, cleans up, and doesn't get into trouble.
2. no one at the restaurant can take him to the men's room (ie no male members of the family present)
3. therefore - his female caretaker should accompany him to the women's room.

by the time he enters preschool, and can use the restroom there by himself is probably when he should no longer need accompaniment in restaurants - unless the situation is such that you are worried about his safety.

Answer 4

4 is okay for sure .according to the situation a lot older . most have seperate stalls anyway &and the child is with someone. sounds like you just ran into a very rude person .when a person whatever age needs to use the restroom people should be understanding.i am 36 ihave had to use the ladies room . but imade sure no one was in there first . however i did get some strange looks upon exit. you did the right thing . i wouldn't send him in the mens restroom by himself or with someone else. TO MANY FREAKS now days.

Answer 5

First of all no one should of said your little brother couldn't be in there. The age minimum is 4-5. If you need your son to go use the mens room let a guy go with him, say your boyfriend. Or wait by the door for him. It's o.k. for boys to use the girls restroom if they are little.

Answer 6

That is absolutely okay. I think it's okay for a child to be accompanied into the opposite sex's bathroom until he reaches full confidence of using the bathroom on his own (no older than 6, though). Even then, wait outside the bathroom door--you never know who will walk off with a child! That woman was unreasonable and obviously had never had sons.

I once had a woman give me the dirtiest look for doing the same thing...and I was only 7 at the time, my brother was 4!

Answer 7

Yes, if anyone has a little child that needs the toilet then someone responsible should go with them. It should be pointed out to the person that complained that in this day and age it is NOT responsible to let the child go alone a there are many bad people about today

Answer 8

My son is 8 and I still take him into the ladies room. And I don't care what anybody says or who complains. It is just too dangerous to let boys go into a mens room alone. Now if I have a man I trust to go in with him that is one thing but if not he trucks right into the women's room with me.

Answer 9

I would say that 5 or under as well; UNLESS you are alone with your son ro nephew or grandson... because sending them anywhere by themselves in this day and age until they are old enough to understand who is safe and who is not, is a dangerous task and a worrisome one at that.

Answer 10

i don't know that there is a concrete age....
i think that if the boy is not capable of using the bathroom unattended then he should be with his mother in the ladies room