Any1 have a good joke?!
2006-12-01 10:58:40 · 13 answers · asked by bflewis14 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Girlie i love it! very funny. That made my day!
2006-12-01 11:33:09 · update #1
i have one it might cheer you up or not! hope it does!
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Adopted By the Boston Red Sox
A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parents and therefore couldn’t decide who he to grant full custody to. So he asks the little boy, “would you like to live with your mother?”
“No”, said the boy.
“Why not?” said the judge
“Because she beats me”
The judge says, “Okay then you’ll go live with your father”
“Oh no”, cried the boy, “He beats me too.”
Dumb founded, the judge asks, “Okay, who do you want to live with?”
“I want to live with the Boston Red Sox”
“Why?” asks the judge.
“They don’t beat anybody”
2006-12-01 11:02:10 · answer #1 · answered by milf bitch! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man is shipwrecked on a deserted island with a dog and a donkey. After a few years, the donkey starts to look good to the guy, but every time he tries anything with the donkey the dog barks and bites the mans leg. Soon another ship is wrecked and a woman is washed ashore with no clothes on. The man runs out to save the woman and she is so grate full that she says "Thank you so much, I will do anything you want, just ask." The man thinks for a moment and says, "OK, could you hold that stupid dog for 10 minutes?"
Hope you day gets better
2006-12-01 11:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by Cannibal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work as a security officer and my post is patrolling this small shopping center. A couple of weeks ago, I was driving to work and noticed a peice of plastic thread in between my legs. I yanked on it and pulled out this long peice and just threw it away. My uniform is a white short sleeve shirt and charcoal grey pants with a black stripe down the side.
I started my patrol and noticed that everywhere I'd go,people just smiled at me No one would say anything,just smile. I even had one of the shop owner start singing,"Here comes Peter Cottontail". My shift was eight hours long and when I got home, I took my uniform off and then saw what everyone was smiling at. That thread I pulled out was in the middle of my trousers.I had a nine inch gap in my pants and my white underwear was sticking out of the back of my pants like a cottontail.
And no one ever told me...............
2006-12-01 11:11:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, here is a joke I made up.....I prank called Wendys and told them my girlfriend's name was Wendy but she laughed like a witch but it was good on halloween I always dressed her as a witch! And once I pranked wAL MART AND asked for a 48 foot fishing pool because my favorite fishing spot was off a cliff!
Funny....?
2006-12-01 11:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by Pumpkin Headed Murderer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right here's a narrative I even have written for you. There as quickly as became a kangaroo. This kangaroo's call became Barnabe. Barnabe beloved to take part contained in here activities: stitching enormously sweaters and bootys, brushing his cat's bright fur, making shrimp quesadillas for his buddies, drawing photos interior the moisture of the motor vehicle abode windows, reenacting Simpson's episodes, freeing spiders into the wild, carving festive plant existence like yams, apples, grapes, pears and watermelon, pressing plant life, finding out on wildberries and enjoying hopscotch with the interior of reach priests. at some point, Barnabe desperate that he had to throw a occasion wherein everybody could desire to take part interior the activities that Barnabe enjoyed. He named his occasion, "a occasion interior the existence of Barnabe the Kangaroo." yet something disastrous happened, all of his activities have been given jumbled into one extensive activity. It became like coming up a mega activity. It became like the transformer of pastimes. everybody ran away screaming, besides ole' Barnabe the Kangaroo. He remained and raised what later grew to become popular as Heston, as his very own. He enjoyed it like a toddler. the tip. :)
2016-12-14 10:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart ....Nice children you've got there, are they twins?" The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins? ..........Do you really think they look alike?" "No", replied the greeter, " I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"
2006-12-01 13:07:37 · answer #6 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man tells friend Im going to spain friend says when you get there go to the bull fight . after the fight go to thr La Casa cafe outside the main gate.ask for dish 17 its very good. so of to Spain then the bull fight then the cafe then dish 17. waiters bring the dish and lift the lid inside are 2 enourmous Testicles with gravy man says yuck whats this Waiter says try a bit it is nice so man tries yes its very nice and he eats the lot. says to himself Im coming back here . tours Spain Back to Bull fight and Then to Cafe dish 17 waiter brings dish lid off there are 2 samall testicles in gravy Man says what is this Waiter says sometimes the bull he win
2006-12-01 11:10:22 · answer #7 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do women have boobs? Cause you get to look at some thing while your talking to them. that's from family guy, I only like it because he's a stupid funny character.
2006-12-01 11:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by rebeandphantom 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
2006-12-01 11:03:27 · answer #9 · answered by greenenvysh1129 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the chicken cross the road?
2006-12-01 11:01:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋