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Confidence was not instilled in me (by myself of my folks) when I was younger and now I'm paying the price. I'm very shy and really self-concious of what others think. I want to become mentally tough and not care what anyone else says about me. What do you recommend?

2006-12-01 10:43:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health Mental Health

11 answers

Make a list of your good qualities and focus upon them.

Its hard to not care about what anyone thinks of you, but just try to focus on your close friends and family. If people outside this group are mean to you for no reason then remember that they are not important and therefore what they may think is not important.

2006-12-01 10:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I used to be The same way. I found that self help books helped me a lot. The best one for me was a very old book "The Power of Positive Thinking", by Norman Vincent Peale. It's advice is as good today as it was when it was written many years ago. Just practice the advice that you read about. I know that it is hard at first, but as you keep at it, you will find that you will start to change before you realize what is happening! Best wishes!

2006-12-01 10:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by quagi m 3 · 0 0

I even have those whilst i've got confidence under pressure by stuff concerning college, fairly with the senior challenge arising in next courses and having progressed training and numerous artwork to conceal in distinctive places..eh it particularly is too plenty in specific circumstances. What I do is, i attempt to discover the " place" that makes me experience solid.. which isn't homestead, by the way. i attempted to discover it, and that i did.. and that i bypass there each and every time i've got confidence under pressure and worried. the region is a small keep, very quiet and the only factor you are able to hear is footsteps and human beings chatting quietly.. the staff are awesomely candy to me for the reason that i'm there enormously plenty extra effective than themselves, lol. and that i'm usually on the cafe and it has a spectacular layout with bamboo sticks masking the partitions.. it is not a 'modern-day' layout and that's what i like, older ones..straightforward and large. i'd ward off crowded places because of the fact i will't even walk whilst i'm already too hectic to be here. which potential department shops are off the record.. So whenever you're like that, attempt to ward off even though is inflicting it. If it particularly is college artwork, save it aside for jointly as and bypass get some air. try your widespread places, consistent with hazard consume your widespread nutrients.. get some take care of, ice cream or pie. talk over with somebody who's close you and you come across convenience in conversing to. do even though there is that makes you experience like your self back and not somebody who's under pressure, hectic and frightened all jointly. there is plenty to existence than to permit the hassle-free issues carry you down. We administration the effect if we've been given a carry of the line that finally ends up in the tip of the line.

2016-10-04 14:56:19 · answer #3 · answered by wardwell 4 · 0 0

I used to be this way. I was always doing, asking, looking over my shoulder, worried how my actions affected others

I know live by the 5 minute rule. If it was 5 minutes ago, I forget about it. I was killing myself with worry, when I would say something stupid, or scew up in some way, i would harp on it for days.

Be true to yourself.

2006-12-01 11:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by Suednim 3 · 0 0

Here's the thing... in order to make an accurate judgement, you have to know every thing there is to know about what you are judging otherwise you risk being in error.

There is only one person who can know every thing about you that there is to know and that's you.

So why would you care what other people think about you? They don't know the whole story so how can their judgement be correct?

Another thing to remember is that most people are wayyyyyy to busy thinking about themselves to even give you a second thought. I know that sounds cold, but it is the truth.

2006-12-01 10:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I started out my teen years with horrible social anxiety caused by having no confidence or mental strength. It was so bad I was to afraid to leave my house. It was absolutely paralyzing.

Today I am a US Navy Seal, I have traveled the world been on mission in Afghanistan, Iraq and a few other places, jumped out of planes at 30 000 feet, got shot out of submarines and swam at night threw miles of ocean into enemy territory, been in countless close quarters combat situations and battles. And I love my job.

I made a complete turn around, and got threw every fear I had along with fears an average person might have and ill tell you how. One of the few things I left the house for was to go to my mixed martial arts class were I would train in full contact fighting. One day my instructor told me I needed to get faster. But I was lost in how to go about it. I mean you can learn techniques, do wait lifting to get stronger. But how do you get faster? I was told to pretend you are fast with each and every technique you do. Over time I got faster.

But I started to use that same technique for social anxiety, confidence and my fears. First off you need to act. Look at the people around you. Look at how calm they are in situations you would freak out in. And act like that. Imagine you are doing what ever it is you wish you could do, that your fear is getting in the way of.

But believe it is actually happening. When its actually happening take control of your thoughts and act. Like a shy actor taking the role of an out going character. The best time to imagine this is as often as possible, right before you go to bed and especially when your listing to music.

The other thing is DO NOT think. Your hole life you have been told think before you do. Well when it comes to this, don’t. Just do it. Like a robot, do it and don’t think about it.

The last thing is to visualize. When you breath in imagine the air going into your lungs and being sucked into your blood when it goes threw your body its pushing out pain, negative thoughts and weakness. Imagine it getting replaced by good thoughts, power, and a can do anything sense of thought.

There is an old saying that goes, be careful of your thoughts, they may become your actions, be carful of your actions they become your character, be carful of your character it might become you.

Imagine yourself with no confidence an weak you will have no confidence and you will be weak, Imagine yourself confident and mentally strong and you will be.


Life is all about changing and evolving, over coming and gaining wisdom. So do what needs to be done to live your life.

Good luck I hope this helps
p.s. it takes time, but be patient with it. You might find these technique only works for short periods of time, but as time goes on it will become who your are. That is if you use the these techniques more and more often.

2006-12-01 11:09:35 · answer #6 · answered by BAD KARMA 6 · 1 0

you just got to graduate from the school of hard knocks lol what doesnt kill you does make you stronger!when in certain situations you just have to ask yourself whats the worst that can happen hear? prepare for it an go for it head on it will take a bit of practise but you'll get stronger n better at it in time that's the key

2006-12-01 10:56:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

this is an excellent question because i have the same problems. Over the past couple of months I forced myself to stop worrying about others. I kind of broke out of my shell and found that life is way to short to worry about others feelings toward me. Know one can fix this problem but you but you really have to put your mind to it and keep telling yourself you are sick of this lifestyle I'm only 14 but my attitude is changing rapidly. good luck :)

2006-12-01 10:50:57 · answer #8 · answered by Dis girl den lost her mind 1 · 0 0

I know exactly what you mean. I'm going thourgh the same thing . What i do is try and be more independent and think postive . Believe in yourself. I'm working on that myself
Good Luck
Try praying about it=)

2006-12-01 10:48:15 · answer #9 · answered by cheerdnc 1 · 0 0

Be confident about yourself.

2006-12-01 10:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by Webballs 6 · 0 0

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