I'm a 22 YO guy and I recently met this 17 YO. Before I knew her age, we started talking and hit it off and were able to talk easily. Then I found out her age--she said difference in ages doesn't bother her. We have planned a date to a nice restaurant December 18th (we both have finals til then). Now, I would never ever doing anything sexual with her until she turned 18, so that's not an issue for me.
My question is, do you feel it's wrong for us to date? Four years is not a big difference, but since she is still in HS (last year) and I'm in college to some people I would look like a loser. My friend Jen said it's not a big deal, that I should go for it (she's 21, almost 22), but another one of my friend's said it's sick because "she's still a kid."
I don't know. I feel a connection so far, but should I even be thinking about dating her? She seems excited about our date, saying she has to look nice that day, that there's a "definite possibility" for her to wanna kiss me, and last
2006-12-01 10:19:54 · 18 answers · asked by Timothy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
night we were talking on AIM and she asked me if sex was a big thing to me or just whatever. I told her I only do it when I'm in love, and she was pleased with my answer.
Oh, yeah. She won't be 18 til July, and I turned 22 last August. So When I'm 23, she'll be 18. Well she'll be 18 when I'm still 22--both of which seem fine to me. Another one of my friends, she's 19 and dating a 24 year old guy.
Okay. So I need opinions everyone.
2006-12-01 10:20:04 · update #1
It seems fine to me if you are serious about not breaking the law by having sex until she is 18 (very responsible).
My dad was 24 and my mother was 15 when they started dating, and they've been married nearly 40 years now.
Enjoy your date!
2006-12-01 11:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by Girl Machine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so you know you're not a perve. You know you aren't with her to get into her pants. You like her, for her. There are a lot of things you have to think about besides what others will think.
You have to think if this reltionship should be just friends or more than that? Will it be woth while in the long run? And how will it affect her?
When I was 17, I met my boyfriend he was 24, Im 18 now and he's still 24. He had to think so long about it. It's not wrong to have feelings for her, just as long as they are feelings of friendship and care, not of lust.
It is good that sex isn't a big thing. Younger girls like older men, they have experience. But because she likes you, don't let that control the sex part of your brain. Im not calling you a perv or saying you only want to have sex with her, but with this relationship sex definately has to wait.
Another thing is, do not rush into a relationship. Time prevails, so in the mean time be friends. And to avoid the big kiss, don't spend too much time together. I know it might be hard but space your hang out dates apart.
Oh and the biggest issue of them all, her parents. Ask her about her parents and their views on her dating. Whether or not they'd mind her dating an older man, or even talking to one. Some parents can be very scared for their kids, especially with all these kid nappings of young girls.
Just remember throughout the whole experience TAKE THINGS SLOW.
Right now, think about being friends, and maybe one day the possibility of dating. It's too soon now.
Good luck : )
2006-12-01 10:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by gabagabahey_u 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hon, wait until she is out of high school....seriously.
Think about it, people change DRASTICALLY after High School. I know some girls who were all sweet and easy to talk to in High School and turned into major mean girls in College.
You have had a lot of experiences she has not and I can promise you that she is on the brink of a lot of major changes in her life. Don't go out.
You sound like a great guy, maybe a friendship is in order with her until later on.
Oh, and it isn't because you seem like a "loser" for dating a High Schooler. You and I both know, as being in college myself, that High School kiddos are different...they are kiddos. You also will have difficulties finding date locations since a lot of places are for 21 and up or 18 and up. Trust me, that will be an issue. Also, her parents are probably more involved in her life than you might care to think about, like they might go crazy if they find out you to are together. I have seen that happen too. You aren't a loser. Connections are connections, some great...some not so great.
If it is meant to happen, it will happen. Just wait until she graduates first and sees a bit of the world. I promise, your relationship will be stronger if you do it that way. That, and she wont have the "greener grass" philosophy. Even if she is true and genuine, most people who get together with an age gap like that, in this age bracket, have that thought pattern.
My age gap was 7 years. I dated a guy who was 26 and I was 18. It was fine at first, but there were so many things I hadn't done and I didn't realize exactly what I was getting into when it started. My advice, as being the teen queen with the mid twenties guy...wait on it.
2006-12-01 10:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dude I Dont See A Problem With It As Long As Her Parents Approve. And To Common Sense Maybe Should Use Ur Common Sense Sometime Because A 17 dating a 26 yr old is just sick and perverted
2006-12-01 10:27:41 · answer #4 · answered by ColoradoGuy21 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When I was 18 I had a gf who was 14 and my father flipped, thinking I was gonna get in trouble, even though I had absoluely no intention of having sex with my gf (he didn't get that at least one of his kids had actually listened...).
Now, I have a son who just turned 18 and his gf is 15 and won't be 16 until the spring, and I am the one who is upset.
Funny how your perpective changes when you get older.
I think there is NOTHING WRONG with what you are doing if there is no sex. Here in NH, you having sex with her would be legal for you both, but girls' dads often have a very different idea of what they think is ok...
Good luck to you both.
2006-12-01 10:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by Leo F 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she's probably going to turn 18, go to college or move on past high school and be exposed to 190049385093845 other guys. She might be too young for a wiser, more experienced man who is almost done with college!
I'm a 22 year old teacher who deals with 18 year olds everyday. They can't even handle dating people in their own age group, let alone anybody older.
2006-12-01 10:25:49 · answer #6 · answered by marisa_g1rl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Aside from the whole illegal factor...But granted, in most things (not necessarily this) when 17 year olds have a run in with the law, they're tried like adults.
I think you should wait till she's 18 to do anything.....I mean....she's still in high school and you're what? Graduating college? Sounds tricky and if-y to me, but it sort of seems like you have your mind made up and just want some reassurance that what you're doing is ok. So....yeah.
2006-12-01 10:25:44 · answer #7 · answered by celticangel72986 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i hate when people say that they'll wait till the person is 18 as if they'll mature automatically.. its really the mind frame. she may not mature until she's 20 years old. many older men like to take advantage of younger girls (in my experience). your definitley an exception. if you know deep down that she's "a kid" then why do you need her turning 18 to change that? Part of being mature has to do with our experiences such as what we've been through and how we react to certain situations. Are you a upper classmen in college?..if so, why do you want someone still in high school?? it doesn't make any sense.
2006-12-01 10:29:01 · answer #8 · answered by truth hurts 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When I met my b/f I was 14 and he was 18...
Now... I am 23 and he is 27.
We are still together... with 2 kids.. we are not poor... and no one cares...
go with your heart... do not listen to what anyone says.. we got a lot of crap in the beginning, but there was just something there that made us look past age...
I still love him to death...
2006-12-01 10:22:57 · answer #9 · answered by yo mama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-04 14:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by wardwell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋