Ok i am young...21 to be exact and well i like to go out on the weekends im a stay at home mother with my son during the week but on the wknds really only saturdays me and my boyfriend like to go out drinking well he doesnt that much but i like to! is it wrong for me to want to go out and have fun on saturday nights??? or should i be home with my son he is 10 mnths old by the way!
2006-12-01 10:10:21 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I leave him overnight with my mom and my boyfriend drinks but not to the point where he cant drive right!
2006-12-01 15:08:31 · update #1
NO!!!!!!! You are NOT a bad mother!!! I have an at home childcare, so I have 6 children i look after (5 kids plus my own) and on Saturdays... i just want to be left alone! i want my MOMMY time! I ask my hubby to do most of the work! You need to let your self rest! You are a GREAT mom! Don't let ANYONE tell you that your aren't.....
Would they rather you stay at home and go CRAZY and end up doing something to your child because you are stressed out?!?!? I don't think so!
At least you aren't letting your child SEE you drinking (or being Drunk) you are being responsible and letting Grandma watch him overnight so you don;t to DRIVE with the baby in the car. I don't know you, but I can say that I AM PROUD OF YOU!!!! WAY TO GO FOR BEING A GOOD MOM!!!!!
2006-12-01 18:14:23 · answer #1 · answered by Hunters wife 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to have your own time. You are still young, just starting out in life. If its just one night a week, I really don't see a problem with it. I am a stay-at-home mom too, my husband and I have been together for 6 yrs, but married 4. My son was 4 months old when we got married....we hardly had any time together as a couple, and being now that my life has changed so much and now it is completely revolved around my children, I find myself resenting my situation somewhat. Wishing I could still go out and stuff. I'm 31 now, and although the whole 'club scene' doesn't appeal to me as much, I more long for a night alone with my husband. We are trying to have a date night once a week..I think that is very important for everyone. Our child benefits because we all get a break from each other, our relationship benefits because we get to know ourselves as a "couple" again, not just 'mama' and 'papa'. I don't think anything is wrong with it. If it turned into an every night thing, then something may have to change...but for now, you still need time to be yourself. You are a better mother when you are taking care of your needs as well. All mothers want to sacrifice their lives and who they are for their children, but in reality, that does more harm than good...we are still people too, not just "mama's"
Hope that helps....don't feel so guilty....
2006-12-01 15:22:23 · answer #2 · answered by brashaga 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are not a bad mother. Like you say you are young yet. I understand. I was 21 when my daughter was born.
It sounds like you are doing a good job by being home most days and nights of the week. It is ok to want to have fun with your friends from time to time. My suggestion would be for you & your boyfriend go out as a couple every other saturday night of the month.
While your son is only 10 months old now, soon he will older and he learns his standards from you. You want to be the best example you can be for him. You want him to know it is ok to have funs with friends but to also to know he is important to you on Saturday nights.
As I got older I found that going out on Saturday nights with my friends started to loose it's appeal.
Maybe one of the weekends when you would normally go out with friends, you can invite them over for a pitch in dinner and watching movies or board games.
.
2006-12-01 10:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by pj_gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to find balance in your life, while I don't agree with the drinking part, it is normal for you to want to have some fun. It really isn't setting a good example for your son that you want to go out drinking every weekend, and while he may not notice it now, eventually he will. There are other things that you can do, go out to a movie, dinner, shopping, etc. but don't set yourself up to be a binge drinker. If you feel guilty about leaving him every weekend then try to cut it back to every other or even just one weekend a month without him. You have to do what makes you feel comfortable as a parent and nobody knows what that is but you. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-01 10:17:29 · answer #4 · answered by bluekitty8098 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have to go out or you will go crazy! I was a mom at 20 and did the same thing on weekends. I lived with my parents so i had a 24/7 babysitter. Im 35 now, 3 kids, divorced and still enjoy my weekends out. Being a stay home mom is hard. Ibeg for adult stimulation after a week of nonstop whinning, fighting and just total chaos!!!
2006-12-01 22:35:16 · answer #5 · answered by neecy35 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe like twice a month tops
Im 25 and have a twelve month old and go out maybe 2 times but I don't go out to drink. I am to afraid that something bad will happen in a drunken moment or if I die in a car accident then my son woulden't have his mommy. Not trying to scare you maybe if you go out sometimes and make sure somebody that has not had a drink drives and stays over that night that might work. Goodluck
2006-12-01 10:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by Tracy.W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey,don't be so hard on yourself.I am 25 years old and i have two children.One is 6 and my youngest is two.I personally do not think going out is a bad thing.As long as you are responsible and can wake up the next day and take care of your baby is all that matters.Even moms need a brake.I am pretty sure you leave your baby in good hands.It is normal to have the "guilt syndrom".I personally don't go out every weekend but i do go out.I have learned to enjoy my free time with adults and friends instead of feeling bad.I tell my self they are sleeping anyway.They don't really know im gone.As for my husband well he offers to stay home with the kids.Its nice that yours goes out with you.We don't have a babysitter that we trust.But if we did we would go out together every weekend too.As a couple you need that time.Its a time where you can reconnect with your man and spend quality time alone.I wish I had that oppurtunity.Now as a parent you know that all your time is with and for the baby.Parents find it hard to find time for themselves.So stop feeling guilty,go out and have a great time.The baby will be fine and will see you in the morning.
2006-12-01 10:25:17 · answer #7 · answered by maria 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with having a good time when you have kids. Just find a reliable babysitter and go on out. Just make sure that you and your boyfriend are careful in what you do. That baby deserves to have a momma and daddy that is going to come home to him. Play it safe but have fun. No, that doesn't make you a bad mother just because you want to have a good time on the weekends. Just be responsible when you are drinking and make sure not to drink and drive. ANY!!! Even one drink impairs the brain and makes driving dangerous. I have had many friends killed by drunk drivers who only had "one drink".
2006-12-01 10:18:08 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your age has nothing to do with it. I'll be 21 next week. I'm a homebody. I would rather stay at home with my family than to go out. I drink maybe once or twice a year for special occasions. I wouldn't say your a bad mom. You enjoy going out. I'm sure your son is with a reliable sitter. The only reason that you would be considered a terrible mother in this case is if you were drinking and driving. Please don't ever do that.
2006-12-01 10:14:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with going out and doing something for yourself. It is good for both you and your child. Make sure that you are being responsible about it. No drinking and driving! I would make arrangements for an overnight babysitter if you know ahead of time that you will be coming home drunk. Even if the child would be in bed when you return, you never know what circumstances could occur and you won't be at your best to handle them. Make sure you are comfortable with the sitter. Best of Luck!
2006-12-01 10:14:35 · answer #10 · answered by Concerned Mom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋