The recent American Journal of Public Health study claims the declining teenage pregnancy rate in the US is down to better use of contraception rather than young people abstaining from sex.
But my wife and I, who are Born Again Christians, and practiced effective contraception, have an unplanned baby on the way.
We used the black plastic bin liner method. Whenever my wife sat down in chair that a man had used, she had to cover the seat with the bin liner so that we did not bring an unplanned baby into the world.
We were both shocked when, 3 months ago, she became pregnant. I suspect that she sat on the bus without having a plastic bin liner on the seat, and that the baby is not mine.
Anyways, our pastor told us that no methods of contraception are 100% effective, and that only abstinence is 100% effective.
But since my wife and I regular attend orgies, always without a pregnancy, we don´t think abstinence has anything to do with it.
People, some help please?
2006-12-01 09:52:22 · 13 answers · asked by Pastor Sauce 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
My dear brother and fellow born again Christian, you have been mislead, grievously so I fear.
Do not succumb to remorse, regret and most particularly do not hang your head in shame. One of the unfortunate truths of this cruel world is that those of us who always act in good faith, always speak the truth to the exclusion of any lies as we understand them are prone to being victimized all too easily. I know that you, as many of us, are probably still hurting over being betrayed by both our political and spiritual icons, people in whom we had faith have proved to be slaves to the baser inclinations of all too imperfect flesh.
In a nut shell, somebody you trusted has lied to you about preventing pregnancy. I would bet that it was at an orgy of worship, as such charlatans are known to spread their filthy untruths at such natural holy offices. It was not the American Journal of Public Health study that made the discovery about declining teenage pregnancy at all. In point of fact, it was our beloved president's soul-brother and intellectual idol, J. Danforth Quaile who discovered and made public the fact that teenage pregnancy has been dropping off very sharply after the age of nineteen, ever since the Reagan Administration.
2006-12-01 12:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by Gaspode 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm not sure if you're serious. If you are, abstinence is best. You can't get pregnant by sitting on a surface that a man sat on. Bin liners do not prevent pregnancy. She became pregnant because she had sex with a man, and how do you know it's not yours? Did you have a DNA test? Are your testicles missing? You say you regularly attend orgies (ew!) "always without a pregnancy", you should know that that is only temporary. You are only playing Russian roulette. Obviously, if your wife is pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy, that statement is now false. Also, you say that you are "born-again Christians, but you go to orgies. Therefore, you are NOT "born-again Christians".
2006-12-01 10:23:18 · answer #2 · answered by FUNdie 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
people who confess Christ and are born back can purely be so as quickly as. in the event that they exchange into disapproved in some way by committing severe sin, the prepare of sin - perchance, then they exchange into damned for all eternity. regrettably, some who declare to be born back - could be flawed. some who declare this proceed to stay in sin, committing immorality with abandon, etc. those forget that people who stay in sin are the youngsters of the devil. a million John 3: the single that does what's sweet is righteous, merely as he's righteous. 8 the single that does what's sinful is of the devil, because of the fact the devil has been sinning from the beginning up. the reason the Son of God recognized exchange into to break the devil’s artwork. 9 no person that is born of God will proceed to sin, because of the fact God’s seed keeps to be in them; they can't bypass on sinning, because of the fact they have been born of God. 10 it particularly is how all of us understand who the youngsters of God are and who the youngsters of the devil are: absolutely everyone who does no longer do what's sweet isn't God’s baby, neither is absolutely everyone who does no longer love their brother and sister. --- As to the training of alternative religions, human beings have confidence what they choose to. this does not make it the actuality. the actuality is in the pudding. And, Jesus gave us each and all the evidence we mandatory with the works he provided us with.
2016-10-04 14:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by wardwell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol@ black plastic bin liner =)
2006-12-01 10:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by Evil Atheist Conspirator 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That's not even funny. If you were seriously Born again Christians, you would not be attending orgies. And sperm would not live on a bus, or toilet seat if there was actually some on the surface.
2006-12-01 09:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by nanny4hap 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think you put the black plastic bin liner on the wrong object.....
2006-12-01 09:55:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I just wasted two minutes of my life reading and answering this question and I want them back!
2006-12-01 10:07:12 · answer #7 · answered by Consuming Fire 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I dont think am going to take you seriously, so in all joking; wear a rubber.
2006-12-01 09:56:11 · answer #8 · answered by Your hero until you meet Jesus 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Theres so many things wrong with your story
2006-12-01 10:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by ReliableLogic 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
LOL you're back
I thought they locked you up!!
2006-12-01 10:12:54 · answer #10 · answered by ausblue 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋