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I am 13 years old. My mom died on September 11, 2001 when I was 8 and its just my dad and me now. He has been really upset since mom died. Lately he has started drinking and then he will get mad at me even tho I haven't done anything. He hits and kicks me and will make me stay in my room and not let me go to school sometimes. I have bruises on my arms of his hands where you can see he grabbed me and shook me. I don't know what to do...I need help but he said if I tell anyone he'll get me good. I'm so afraid of him and I don't know what to do without making him angrier.

2006-12-01 09:44:36 · 21 answers · asked by y0u.r0ck 1 in Family & Relationships Family

Thank you all for your answers. I know what I need to do now but I don't know if I can. He is my dad and I love him. How can I lose my dad after I have lost my mom? Do you think there is a way I can get him help or something without having to leave him?

2006-12-01 10:09:15 · update #1

21 answers

Good for you for looking for help! You are not alone- not even a little. I'm so sorry that you lost your mother. Although your father is hurting, too, he still needs to be your parent. Since you said you lost your mom on 9/11 - it makes me think you live in New York. Here is number for a hotline for New York's Office of Children & Family Services: 1-800-342-3720. In addition to calling that number, I suggest you tell an adult in your life that you can trust (not in your family). This would be a guidance counselor at school, the school nurse, the principal, a teacher you trust, a coach, or a religious leader such as a rabbi or a priest. It's very, very important that a trustworthy adult know about your situation so they can help you. Do you have grandparents, aunts or uncles you could live with instead of your father? Just keep it in mind because it would be much better than going into foster care. Please call that number ASAP. If you feel that you are currently in danger, please call 911 immediately. Good luck, hun! Stay strong!!!

2006-12-01 09:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hey. Hope you are ok. I am a 52 year old man who at times have been very mad and upset with my three kids. I have never abused them. What your father is doing is wrong. He needs help. Help only someone else can give him. This is what I would do. When you go to school, go to a teacher or school nurse and tell them what is happening. They have to look into it. Make sure they involve the child protection agency or maybe the police or both. You need to do this for you and your dad. Your dad will get the help he needs and maybe he can heal. I am telling you this because it's the right thing to do. Good luck and be brave.

2006-12-01 18:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by Ricky: 2 · 0 0

That is a tough question to answer, because if you tell someone of authority, like a teacher at school or something, they will more than likely call social services and/or the police. I am sure you do not want your father arrested do you, even though he probably deserves it. It seems to me like you have some compassion for him even though he is mistreating you badly. If you tell on him, you risk the chance that you might be put into a group home or something. If you have any close relatives that you trust, I would call them and explain to them what you have been going through with you dad. It sounds to me like he needs some counseling, for depression and alcohol. I am so sorry you have to go through this, after losing you mother too! Just know that it is not your fault, okay? Also, I would try to talk to your dad when you know he is sober and tell him how badly you feel.....I will say a little prayer for you!!

2006-12-01 17:58:13 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie H 2 · 0 1

I now that you do not want to harm your dad but those bruises are the first of injuries. I hate to say this but if you don't do any thing now you may die in that house. Even if you do not want to tell a teacher tell a friend. It doesn't matter just tell someone.

2006-12-01 19:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by lyssa1913 2 · 0 0

Do you have any other family you can go to? you need to get out of there and call authorities, if anything you will be placed w/ other family and he will be forced to seek professional help. Alcohol fueled depression isn't a good thing, unfortunately his reaction to your moms death is anger, you probably remind him of her every time he looks at you which brings the grief flooding back, its no excuse for his behavior but he needs help for it before it gets way to out of hand.

2006-12-01 17:52:52 · answer #5 · answered by michele_zanella 3 · 0 0

u cant go on living that way u need to tell somebody maybe a relative and try not to let ur dad find out u can also tell a school teacher that you really trust but whoever u tell you need to tell them because what he is doing to u is not right

2006-12-01 17:49:56 · answer #6 · answered by Sami M 2 · 0 0

dear 13 yrs old
u need to find a friend and report this.. u are being abuse because he's angry.. This isn't your fault hun go to a teacher.. friend and get out of that .. he's threating u for no reason .. this is your choice get out and TELL someone BEFORE It's too late... u DESERVE BETTER THEN THIS...

2006-12-01 17:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by jenny_bramm2004@yahoo.com 2 · 0 0

you need to call the police..if you cant do it from the phone, then do it on the computer..your father has a serious problem and should not be taking it out on you..when you do go to school, you need to go to the principle and get some help..dont be afraid of the school staff..they will help you..im so sorry for your pain..but go to school and get help NOW..

2006-12-01 17:49:22 · answer #8 · answered by Nikkib 4 · 0 0

Get help but b very carefull. Pray 2 God that he might help ur father not 2 drink anymore n 2 b nice,
I`ll keep ur in my prayer!!
I wish u the best!

2006-12-02 01:23:34 · answer #9 · answered by wanna b me 1 · 0 0

the best thing to do in any situation is to tell some one. anyone, another family member, a teacher, and even better yet a guidence consular becuase he cant hurt you if you do something about it now before it escalates into something you cannot control. remember the best thing to do is tell some one or report abuse on yahoo.

2006-12-01 17:48:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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