5 years ago I met a guy in a chat room and there was a strong mutual attraction. However he did not tell me he was married and when I attempted to find out this information on a website, it informed him of my "search." He was not pleased.
We did not chat again, until earlier this year. He urged me to meet him. Against my better judgement (he's still married, albeit unhappily) I agreed. We met twice and got on brilliantly - he told me he had been looking for me for 5 years. It was obvious we were falling for each other.
A few days after our second meeting, I IM'd him and he told me he was too busy to chat. I went offline feeling hurt and confused. 2 days later, he messaged me to say he had not heard from me, that he had been a fool and "goodbye". I emailed him and asked him to explain. He replied asking me not to contact him again as it hurt him "too much." I didn't. A few months later, he messaged me to say he hoped I would find someone who deserved me and he was telling me that because he cared! In the past few months he has IM'd me again a few times and we have spoken briefly, though not about anything serious.
I am finding it difficult to get over him, especially as he is still contacting me.
2006-12-01 08:47:41 · 16 answers · asked by Colette 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't respond to his emails. He wants to see if you are still hanging around for him. Move on. No need to explain.
Don't IM, email, call or anything. Respect yourself even if this guy doesn't respect you or his wife.
2006-12-01 08:51:14 · answer #1 · answered by No Way 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Painful - but I think on the whole positive - at least this guy has a conscience - and knows that he is cheating on his wife, and would also be deceiving you. I think it is because he knows he will not/cannot leave his wife (he says he is unhappy, and that is possible - but it is hard to break up a home just like that - to take the chance with someone) - it is very painful for you, and I have been through something similar so understand. I think that what actually saved you both was you doing the search - if it was something like 192.com, he had to be paranoid to put in a request that he be told whenever anyone searched him. I did it occasionally for a friend to see whether he ever got round to marrying his live in girlfriend. He didn't, but then he is lazy - and so also never put a warning on 192.com!
You doing the search made him realise what he was doing was real, with real consequences, and he backed off. If you hadn't known, it would have been easier for him to justify taking things further with you. I am sure he is very fond of you, and this sort of thing is hard to get over if you make a real connection - but it seems as though real life got in the way, and in the end I think you have been saved alot more heartache. Good luck - you will find someone new.
2006-12-01 08:54:42 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Behavin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You must get rid of him, tell him to get lost he is playing around with ur emotions. Maybe he is falling for you but remember he is married and has children, making him feel guilty and unsure of what to do, hence the reason he probably keeps contacting u.
On the other hand if you do start seeing eachother as a couple what are the chances that he leaves his wife and kids for you, a question you must ask yourself, if he doesn't you will hurt even more so better not start anything. Have had few friends who have been in that situation and not one left the spouse.
Wish u good luck and am sure u deserve better.
2006-12-01 09:08:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't accept any type of communication from him period....Guys like him...I would bet a huge amount of money he has at least five girls he treats badly the way he has you....and a couple of real ..side relationships besides his wife. And no matter what he says ...she is most likely a sweetheart ...who got tricked WORSE THAN YOU cuz she married the clown.
This is just my opinion but if i were you knowing he was married i would NEVER EVER have gone on to meet him....you need to get some counseling and find out what a good person you really are and that you do not need ......people like that in your life...rise above it ...forget that you've already seen him ....and don't go for other women's men ...karma is for real......we are like magnets what we put out what we do we attract the same thing right back at us ...so think good stuff do good stuff...be happy ....and don't even give that pathetic excuse for a man the satisfaction of ever connecting in any way with you again...i wish you all of the best ....take care...
Peace
2006-12-01 09:12:15 · answer #4 · answered by KorvetteKaren 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he really wants you to move on. Tell him that he has made his choice and that you wish him the best, but that if he truly wants you to be happy he needs to stop trying to contact you. Afterwards, block his account! You deserve someone that is better and not married. Think about it...if he is cheating on his wife to be with your chances are high he would cheat on you to be with someone else.
2006-12-01 08:55:28 · answer #5 · answered by brooklynn_31502 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's still in contact because he cares about you and he's afraid of failing in love with you.So take no offence just try to stay frinds with him cos i think he'll really appreciate that.About getting over him,it's not gonna be easy though but you can make it easy for yourself if you really want to get over.Try to start thinking of him more as a friend and nothing more,think less cos the more u think abt him d more it goes deeper,try to spend time doing things you love and tell urself "u've got to take ur mind away from him dat u're going to get other better opportunities".Like i said it's gonna take time but just be determined and in no time you will.Cheer up!
2006-12-01 09:12:01 · answer #6 · answered by Missy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey...this man obviously has a serious problem...and guess what...none of this has anything to do with you....there are probably several other women that he has played the same games with.....Do yourself a huge favor and stay as far away from him as you possibly can...do not answer his emails or IMs.....move on with your life....he is sick and it can only lead to unhappiness or worse for you...good luck
2006-12-01 08:54:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants to be with you and is feeling guilty cause he's married and finding it difficult to leave her maybe. His guilt is probably making him say he doesn't deserve you. But be careful since he is obviously cheating on his wife, I say once a cheat always a cheat.
2006-12-01 08:52:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a human being not a puppet he has no strings attached to you blow him out play the safety game and find someone who has some form of quality you look or like in a guy,he possibly wants to have you as a notch on his belt and if you succume you will feel worse. best of luck
2006-12-01 09:10:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him,he sounds like hes bored but not unhappy with his life.You can do better with someone whos free to go out with you & give you their undivided attention.If he doesnt stop contacting you block him from messaging you & without him contacting you you'l get over him & move on.
2006-12-01 08:58:03 · answer #10 · answered by Poppypunto 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋