It was 5 years before they were born, and he has been "rehabilatated". The kids are not allowed to see him, but he still sends Christmas presents and Birthdays presents. Should I send them back becuase I don't let him see the kids, or let the kids keep the presents because they are not mine to send back?
2006-12-01 08:30:41 · 12 answers · asked by Lesley C 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
When your kids are adults, they may want to know their extended family. They will be able to protect themselves then, and as long as you make sure they know not to expose their own children to abuse it should be good for everyone involved. Security, Family, Forgiveness, in that order.
2006-12-01 08:43:59 · answer #1 · answered by musemessmer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them keep them and send a thank you note. your self
Make sure you re iterate that he is to have no contact and he is NOT recoverd
so keep the distance.
he probably wants to heal the relationship but , i personally feel better safe than sorry,
eventually the kids will want to know who sent the gifts and you can say santa claus, and make sure not to tell them he is molester.
but do say he is dangerous and they are never to be around him, either alone or other wise,
have a safety plan for your family, and a safe house to go to incase something happens,
and as far as molestation goes, never leave your child alone with anyone, except 3 people you trust, this way they won't be armed, they'll know the rules, and your taking precautions.
its not fool proof but its a start
good luck
meg
2006-12-01 08:45:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how you feel about it, and whether you truly feel he was "rehabilitated" or not. If you ever want them to know him, even in the distant future, then keep them and let them know who they are from. If you have no intention of ever letting them know him, it's best to send them back. So the question is...... can you forgive him or not? And do you believe in second chances? A lot of times when a parent "screws up" with their own child they try to make up for it by being a good grandparent. But it's up to you to decide if you want him to have a second chance. God Bless through this difficult decision.
2006-12-01 08:39:32 · answer #3 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd keep them because both the kids and the abusive grandpa's feelings would be hurt. A few extra presents never killed anyone
2006-12-01 08:39:15 · answer #4 · answered by FootballFan1012 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send them back and tell him not to contact you or the kids again. A restraining order is the next step if he doesn't respect your wishes. Throwing them away, giving them to charity, would all be exactly what he wants, which is any contact, good or bad, with children. Imagine what he might be doing to or with the toys before he mails them to your kids?
2006-12-01 09:36:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that. Personaly I would let them keep the presents and
explain that he did a bad thing and he is allowed around children.
Similar thing in my family only it was my nephew that did the abuseing. What ever you decide is your decision don't let anyone
make you regret it!
Morgaine
2006-12-01 08:34:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would donate them to a cause with your kids name of the person donating the gift and i would tell him that is what is being done ,someone will get a gift and they do not need know about gramps serious sick problems. they can not be reformed just do not think so.
2006-12-01 08:44:18 · answer #7 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep the gifts!!! and protect your children. Unless, you feel guilty about keeping the gifts.
2006-12-01 08:33:58 · answer #8 · answered by One deep 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let them keep the gifts...they don't have to know where they come from...yet. When they're much (MUCH) older, let them know about him, and why they never met him.
2006-12-01 08:42:02 · answer #9 · answered by eXie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them have them but just tell them they're extras from Santa or something.
2006-12-01 08:32:37 · answer #10 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋