Ok, theres a lot of background to my question. Here goes. On 10/29/06, my birthday, a very close friend of mine died. This was devastating to me and my family. Then three days later, my boyfriend of three years went pyschotic and slammed me into the refrigerator. I threw him out and got a protection from abuse order on him. He moved in with this guy who began threatening me because he thought I was his word not mine, "persecuting" my boyfriend. He threatened my life several times. So my four yr old son and I had to move into my sisters house (shes 8 mos pregnant, too). This guy is a total whack job but because his threats were through yahoo, the police cant prosecute him. So, off to the courthouse for another protection order. The police department has beeen unable in the last month to serve him because he wont answer his door. Also happening during this time, my gallbladder decides to malfunction so the only way I can function until surgery is heavy duty pain meds. So, about a week
2006-12-01 08:08:57 · 14 answers · asked by leet_colleen 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
ago, Child Protective Services came to my sisters house to investigate me. The report was filed by the same man who has been threatening me. The report said that I abuse prescription drugs and that I abused my son. The child protective worker talked with my son, my sister and I. I showed her all of my court stuff and she agreed it was a retaliton report but that she still needs to investigate by calling my sons MD, my MD and his teachers at school. So, yesterday another close friend of ours died of a drug overdose. So today, I decided that I cant handle all of this crap, so I enrolled in an intensive outpatient pyschiatric program that I begin on Monday. My question is, do I tell my sons school or should I just keep it to myself? Is this going to look bad with the child protective worker? Please help!!!
2006-12-01 08:14:36 · update #1
I would call it to the school attention only in the mater that the PFA protects any minor children living in your home.
Good Luck to you.
2006-12-01 08:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by Issym 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, keep every shred of documentation you can. Print and save every email. Tape phone calls, or have a witness. Keep a diary...does not have to be tons of stuff...entries on a date book will due. Document doctor visits, phone calls to police, etc.
Yes, if the cops get off their lazy butts, the Yahoo threats can be used as proof against him. But you have to get a department that deals in internet crime, or is willing to have someone learn about it. We filed an internet stalker report last year using the local sheriff. The stalker was across the country. On the top of every email (when you display the origin text) you can see exactly where the email was sent from, and who sent it at what date and time. This is traceable, even if the local yocal cops don't know how. They should ask.
I would NOT tell your son's school. They meddle and THINK they are acting in the best interest of YOUR child. It sounds like you already have his best interest at heart. Trusting public schools can lead to disaster.
When your boyfriend slammed you against the wall, the cops should have been called and a domestic violence report filed. You may want to call and ask if you can file a report now. The fact that you moved out of the place should be considered actions that support your story. You tell them the truth, that you fled because you were in fear for your safety.
If your ex-boyfriend, or his friend, threaten you or your sister, report it. Take down the name of the person you spoke to on the phone, the officer, the case number, etc.
You can hire a process server to catch the little weasel at work, school, or wherever he hangs out. Get the guy served with the restraining orders. It will be MORE than worth the money you will have to pay the process server.
In the mean time, try to get some back up child care set up. If you have relatives nearby that would be great. You need to think about your sister being 8 months preggers and needing help herself quite soon. So set up child care somehow.
The fact that you are seeking help for your stressful situation should be a mark in your favor. But I would not want to share that with everyone. Keep it within your family. --Good luck.
2006-12-01 16:28:00 · answer #2 · answered by Hurricane 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You should definitely tell them about the 2 restraining orders. It's not unheard of for people to try to hurt others through their children. You should include your son on the protective orders and submit a copy to the administrators at your sons school. His safety is key. I would also just tell them that there's currently a lot of emotional upheaval in his life right now so that they know what's up and to alert you if he starts acting out or anything from the stress. I'm sure the teachers would be happy to work with you on anything that arises concerning your son. I hope things get better for you! *hugs*
2006-12-01 19:04:37 · answer #3 · answered by evilangelfaery919 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a longtime childcare worker and future teacher, my advice is TELL THE SCHOOL! Your child's teachers will want to know what is going on a home if he begins to act out. Also, from my experience, if I was your son's teacher and a CPS worker called me and I had been unaware of what was going on, I probably wouldn't have a very good answer for the CPS. I hope that makes sense, but you want to prepare the teachers and school officials to deal with that kind of thing, because if not, it could go badly for you and a comment made in passing could be taken in a negative way. Hope that makes sense, best of luck, and keep your chin up - there's no where but up from here!
2006-12-01 16:20:55 · answer #4 · answered by Abcde 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Due to HIPA your private medical information can't be shared with anyone so they shouldn't know about that unless you tell them. I would take that retired cops advice up there if i were you, sounds like he knows what he's talking about. You could also check out getting help at a Hope house, i don't know if they have that in your area though.
2006-12-01 16:43:50 · answer #5 · answered by noone 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son's school should be informed of anything that could cause a disruption in his normal life. By notifying them in advance, they will be better equipped to deal with him should he start acting out due to the stressful situations affecting his life.
Good luck!
2006-12-01 16:19:32 · answer #6 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth will set you free.I think if you lie in the end if they find out then you'll be in deeper trouble and they may feel you have something bad to hide.So really I would explain everything to them in detail but tell the truth so you won't be in trouble or put your son in danger.Good luck!
2006-12-01 16:22:34 · answer #7 · answered by down2earthgurl14 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely go to the school and explain in general terms that home life is very complicated right now and you're worried it's affecting your child. They can watch and inform you of behavioural changes and help support him.
2006-12-01 16:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by chicchick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children's services workers and school teachers tend to see you getting help as a GOOD thing. Tell them. It may help you get everything straightened out. Also, if you are worried about Children's services, don't. Instead, ask them for help. They LOVE that. They can sign you up for free classes and counseling, and your child too. They can be a great source of strength and help for you if you choose to accept their help and work with them. One of my friends couldn't afford to get her child counseling, and they got it for her for FREE. They also helped her get medical cards, foodstamps, dental care, and HUD. If you resist them, they will try to push you for the sake of the child.
2006-12-01 16:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by musemessmer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell his school about the situation just so his teachers will understand if all this starts to affect him. I hope things get better for you.
2006-12-01 16:12:48 · answer #10 · answered by Cuddly Lez 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋