I have been with my BF for 12 years now and I know they consider me as a part of the family. His sister is nice but we are not that close. She is getting married in Asia and she invited me to attend so I have to buy my own tickets and all. My BF is on the entourage and she partnered him with the relative of her groom to be. I felt a little bad because everyone in the family are included and I'll be like an outsider if attend. I already bought my tickets but when I saw the invitation, I felt bad because her entourage was very long and I'm not included. I felt that they don't have respect for me as her brother's BF for 12 years. I guess my point is, I felt I should be included as a respect for me. Well, I guess I'm not family when I thought I was part of their family. What would you do in this case if you have a brother that has a GF for 12 years? Would you include her on your entourage since your brother will be on it or not and why?
2006-12-01 08:08:42 · 15 answers · asked by Kittytweetie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It would honestly depend on how much I saw her, how well I knew her. There are many of my brother's girlfriends that I never meet. If you saw them all the time and felt like part of the family, then I would wonder what's wrong. If his sister is not close to you, she probably really doesn't know you all that well, no matter how long you've been dating her brother. Smile, be patient. Its her wedding day. She probably didn't even think about it. The set up of a wedding is very hectic. Don't take it personally. All of the people on her entourage are probably people that she feels very close to. You said yourself, the two of you are not close. Its one day. Her day. Just relax and let her have it. Say hi to her and wish her a happy marriage. One day if you marry her brother (12 years? tell him to get a little fire under his feet), you'll be inviting her to your wedding. You don't want her to shaft you do you?
I would not include any of my brothers' (I have 3 bros) gf's because I don't know any of them. I've met them a few times. Its not personal.
2006-12-01 08:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by DanniGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First - even if you were her own sister, or actually married to her brother - she is not required to have you in her wedding party. I had a large wedding and only one of my 5 sisters was included. You said yourself that you and her are not super close - and a wedding party is meant to be made up of those who you are very close to.
Her ownly obligation here is to invite you - as spouses and/or committed partners (engaged or living together) should always be invited together.
For your question - no, I would not have had you in the wedding party. Even at my own wedding, I did not have all of my own sisters in the wedding, nor was I in any of my sister in laws weddings. There is nothing wrong with that, even if it is in a different country and it has nothing to do with her respecting you nor does it have anything to do with you not being part of tha family. In MOST weddings today, family is not included in the wedding party unless they are very close to one of the couple.
The truth is, you have been with this man for 12 years and you are part of the family. Your decision to go should not be based on if you are in the wedding party or not. If one of my sister-in-laws had decided to get married overseas, I would still have attended even if I wasn't in the wedding party because that's not what it is about.
2006-12-02 00:19:31 · answer #2 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long my brother had a girlfriend has nothing to do with why she would or wouldn't be a part of the wedding. I didn't have my brothers girlfriend in my wedding (they were together for 4 years at that point) or my husbands sister for that matter, I had the people that I was closest to in my wedding. It's not because they aren't a part of my family, it's because I was close to the people in the wedding. Don't take it personally. I'm sure she's not trying to smite you. Go to the wedding and have a good time.
2006-12-01 16:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you from personal experience. Brides are peticular about their weddings. My sister got married in Mexico and they did not even have a Bridal party. But, I was told I would NOT be allowed to be in the bridal party if they had one because I have a tattoo on my upper right arm. It's their day and they are concerned about them and the man they are marrying. I honestly wouldn't have paid to go to Asia to attend a wedding. I was not even going to attend my sister's but was forced to by my family. That's a lot of money to spend to go to a wedding. You should refund your ticket. You and her may not be close She may have respect for you, but keep in mind that the entourage is very close family and technically, you are not officially family. And maybe you need to think about your 12 year relationship while he is gone..
2006-12-01 18:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by juggalettej 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even if she does consider you family, she doesn't necessarily need to include you, especially if you're not that close. Unfortunately, she has hurt your feelings, though, so why not ask her if she needs any help with anything. Maybe she'll have something else you can do the day of the wedding to help. If you're not very close she might be hessitant about asking you for anything more since you're already paying a lot to go to the wedding...good luck
2006-12-01 17:39:08 · answer #5 · answered by bulldogsfan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain!
You should be wondering about your BF! Why has he not married you in the 12 years you have been together? May be sense he's not showing you the respect in the family by marrying you, his sister probably doesn't know how either or feels if your BF respected you, then she would also.
I think if I could get the money back for the ticket, I'd stay home and give my relationship with the BF some serious thought.
2006-12-01 16:37:44 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry this happened to you. I understand I've been with my b/f going on 14 yrs. Can you ask her or someone in the family why you were left out? I would go, after all you bought a ticket. I would dress so pretty and look so good that everyone would think I was so classy.
2006-12-01 16:15:18 · answer #7 · answered by Tedi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry about your being slighted by your boyfriends sister Before you go over on the other side of the world , you need to do some inventory,look at your 12 year engagement. Please figure out where you really stand with your boyfriend. people send signals to their family about the people they date without being aware. In your case 12 years of signals . I just had a Thought Get married before you go . That would be sweet .
2006-12-01 17:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by Peaches2900 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
it's not like you're married or anything. you don't have to go if you don't want to. why would you want to spend your money to but ticket to go all the way to Asia to go to someone's wedding when they don't even feel that you are special to them? you should do these kinda things for people that think you matter and not people that don't consider you. the invitation is not an obligation that says you have to go and your bf shouldn't push you either.
2006-12-01 16:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by lizie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Eh, I'm not inviting my brothers wife to be a bridesmaid simply because she's a fat ugly cow and she's too stupid. That beast is annoying!
It's okay though because she wouldn't allow my sisters or me to be in her wedding because we're too thin and tall and would make her look like the fat stumpy thing she is on her wedding.
Maybe, his sister simply doesn't like you.
2006-12-01 20:25:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋