me and my partner have a 10 mth old baby together and love each other dearly but he wants to go out all the time like 6 days a week and i feel left out and un wanted i have told him this but he feels i am being unfair and stopping him from a life as when we were at school/college together it was just us he never saw his mates and now he wants to make up for lost time. I dont mind him going out but he never does anything with me and its lonely am i in the wrong. please help we do love each other and no he is not playing away i trust him 100%
2006-12-01 07:34:29 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No matter if you have already asked this question or not. I have not answered your very important question.
You and your partner, with having a brand new baby, need to sit down and plan to have at least one night a week that you get a baby sitter and go do something by yourselves, together. It doesn't matter what day of the week it is. That shouldn't matter if you guys really truely love each other and want to stay together. Just talk to him and see if he will agree to ya'll getting a babysitter and spending one night togther. If he doesn't agree to that and just wants to spend time with his "buds", then you don't need him at all because he is about to prove to you that he is going to be a dead beat dad. Try the getting together and if that doesn't work, he doesn't want to be with you. I hope things work out for you.
2006-12-01 07:45:47 · answer #1 · answered by passionate_play270 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry all of this is happening in your marriage. As you already know, the only person you can change and/or control is yourself. Your husband is responsible for correcting facets of his personality and/or attitude; you can't do that for him. I agree with you that there's no need for you to call him; however, the next time he contacts you regarding non-emotional issues (i.e., your finances); you have every right at some point to ask him if he in interested in working with you to keep your marriage intact. If he is, my suggestion (if both of you are willing) is to work with a marriage counselor to help you guys sort through the issues, put things in perspective, make compromises, and ensure that you work together and not against each other. Your concerns and feelings are valid and need to be addressed. And even though he doesn't express it, he has feelings as well that he needs to share with you. I wish all the best for you and hope it all works out.
2016-03-13 01:26:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least ONE of you is IMMATURE. You mates screwed around too young, had a baby, but he doesn't want the responsibility that comes from being a father and a "Husband".
And you, you Ninny!! Why did you allow yourself to get pregnant?? Your relationship is not based on mutual love, is it? You describe him as a selfish, self centered individual that still thinks he is a child wanting to play with his friends all the time. You feel left out cause you want to go play, too , but can't because of the baby. So let me guess... getting pregnant was an "accident". Babies like you shouldn't be having babies, you Ninny!!
So what do YOU do? (you can only change yourself, not others). Take a good look at that baby you two brought into this world. Being a parent is a sacrafice your "Hubby" is not prepared to make, but you better be ready, and I mean like yesterday. You do what is best for that baby, hear me!!
2006-12-01 07:48:15 · answer #3 · answered by Regular Guy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sounds immature, selfish and is not being fair to you. Parenting is a joint and equal responsibility. Ask him what six days next week he will be looking after the baby so you can make up for lost time and reconnect with your friends.
If he thinks that all he has to do is go to work, be the financial provider and not give anything emotionally or share raising the child & home then you will both soon realise that your doing everything alone and would be better off alone
2006-12-01 07:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by Cdn_Superdave 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why doens he want to go out on the weekends or whenever if he knows he has a wife & kid at home waiting for him?? sounds like his party days are not over- loose the guy and get him on child support. I can guarantee you he meets other women while he's out and that's what's ruining your relationship with him. He should not go out on his own as if he were single. He should take you and the baby out. Don't beg him to change he has to do it on his own for the love he has for you and the baby. If things persist this way- if i were you i'd give him about 2 months and see how it goes after warning him that you're sick of him going out and if in the 2 months of "trial" he still keeps doing the same this- i'd dump him. DOn't waste your time with someone who's not ready to settle down. He sounds like he's not done partying and you don't need a guy like this- you need a real man!
2006-12-01 08:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2015-01-28 12:46:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is common after a new baby comes. Sometimes it takes a while to come to terms with your new life a responsible parent. I got through it by having my own life again too. I went into the caregiver mode and did everything for my son (as it should be) but kinda lost myself in the process which left me grasping for attention. As my life got more back on track and I began going out from time to time and doing things for myself those feelings of being left out faded, and my marriage is great! Just hold on and try to do something for you once in a while.
2006-12-01 07:42:20 · answer #7 · answered by ericak1234 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sees you and the baby as the "ball and chain" at home, he sees you as the mother of his child not the sexy young filly he once knew.
You have to change that image he has of you.
1. Be the s1utty wife, underwear, porn, kinky etc.
2. Do some "fun" activities together, ones that he and you enjoy together
3. You should get a new hobby on your own, get a spring in your step, go Salsa dancing, join a gym, get fit and look good.
4. Encourage him to get a hobby (a real one, not a pub one)
5. Get him to look after the baby on his own so he can "bond"
Hope it works out
2006-12-01 07:44:30 · answer #8 · answered by Im a killer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you have a baby together, he should be spending sometime with the both of you. Tell him you are totally fine with the fact that he goes out but you have baby together and you're apart of his life as well.
2006-12-01 07:37:14 · answer #9 · answered by tia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sex and communication are the keys to a great relationship. I went through what you're going through, with my husband. We talked and he started inviting me to go off with him which made me feel better, but I still get lonely (I don't care to leave my baby and hang out with his friends) Try more sex and communication - I hope you two can work it out.
2006-12-01 07:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by stephanie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋