what's more effective, strict parents, or laid back parents?

Answer 1

I believe to be successful parents you have to set a guideline for your child/ern to follow by. So to say, if your child/ern does something inappropriate they know you don't allow them to do, it's up to you to set up a reasonable punishment. And at the same time it's a great idea to have fun with your child/ern and not get frustrated. You don't have to be either a "strict" or "laid back" parent to get the results you want. You just gotta stay consistent and BE A LOVING PARENT to your child/ern.

Answer 2

I had a strict upbringing where children are to be seen and not heard and my cousins have had laid back parents, both parties are screwed. I now have three children and I find the most effective way for me and my husband is to have the ground rules, because boundaries show love. Talking to the children and listening to them along with lots of affection seems to be the key to effective parenting in our household. Strictness restricts chidren to being themselves and reaching their full potential, it can also put unhealthy fear in a child about the world and the people in it. Laid back parenting could give the child the impression that the parent doesnt care. So self esteem problems could be an issue with some. I think whats more effective is finding a balance between the two.

Answer 3

I think that a little bit of both. I think that it depends on how the child takes it, i k for example know that my parents are laid back and i don't take advantage of them but my brother is another story ... If my parents could put a more tighter grip then they would be OK. ...
But also if they are too strict that can also have a bad affect. My friends mom is really mean and that has put my friend to hang around bad people. ...
I think it's how a kid really is because my others friend's mom is so nice and not strict enough ...that she ended up pregnant at the age of 16!

Answer 4

I feel strict, my husband feels laid back. We each have three kids his oldest dropped out of school at 16 was pregnant by 18, his other two are rude, disrespectful, lazy both almost failed school last year. I am the strict one and no my kids aren't perfect but my oldest is 14 and already has a job earning her own money and is an A student, the other two are also A students, they do chores etc. I allow my kids to have fun they go places, join clubs play sports etc but they have to earn the right. End result when my husbands daughter lived with him there was a lot of disrespect, no friends ever around etc and now the house is full of kids of all ages. My kids and their friends know I am strict, I set rules and expect them to be followed and as my daughters best friend said she liked it because she knew what to expect here.

Answer 5

My parents were very strict. While I hated it growing up, I have turned into a level headed, responsible adult that respects others. I was able to endure many hardships early on in my adult life and was able to get through them while always doing the right thing. I know others that had laid back,uninvolved parents and they are irresponsible and don't live a good and honest life. Some at age 45 are screwed up beyond belief.

Answer 6

You need laid-back parents who strictly and consistently enforce the rules they DO have.

Completely laid back parents tend to have no boundaries for their kids, and the kids run absolutely wild.

Strict parents have kids who want to challenge them at every turn because they have absolutely NO freedom.

You want to be a parent who enforces important rules (regarding lying, schoolwork, drinking, health issues, etc.) and is laid back in other areas (does it really matter if your child dyes his hair pink? Or if she insists on mixing her peas in with her potatoes?). Figure out what's important to you and your family in the long run; enforce those rules, and let the kids experience a little freedom. The children will learn to make decisions, understand responsibility (hey, they're going to get some STRANGE looks with that pink hair, and probably regret it, but it won't kill them), and, hopefully, not get into a ton of trouble because they KNOW where the boundaries are, but have enough freedom that they don't feel the need to challenge them.

Answer 7

My husband and I really debated over this before we had kids and we decided that it needs to be a happy medium between the two.

If you are too strict (as in the case with my parents) your children may learn to be deceptive and sneak out or tell little white lies. I always felt that my parents never fully trusted me because they never gave me opportunities to earn trust. I am not saying this always happens but it could.

With my husband's parents they were really laid back and let him do whatever he wanted such as drinking at a young age and he made some pretty bad decisions because he was not guided enough. He does, however; have a wonderful relationship with both of his parents and he can tell them anything. Something I really admire.

So, I really think their has to be a balance between the two. You want your kids to respect you as a parent and to understand when you put your foot down but you also want them to feel important and that they have a voice too.

Answer 8

As it turns out, either.

What's most important is genuinely caring for your children, in such a way that they really know that.

That and consistency. So pick a style, and stick with it, but make sure they know you love them, which ever style is yours.

Of course either extreme is no good -- you need to let them grow up and not try to over-control them, nor should you leave them to raise themselves. But there's a lot of room between those extremes.

The important thing is not trying to be a kind of parent that you aren't, and for the two parents to be reasonably close in style so there's a consistent standard set, and they can't play one against the other.

(When one is super strict, and the other super lenient, the kids soon learn who to ask permission from!)

Answer 9

Strict. Kids need rules, especially during the teen years. If a kid cannot learn to respect authority as a minor, it will be that much harder to respect a boss as an adult. Too many of those laid back parents do everything for their child and spoil them. Strict parents are more likely to teach ther kid the value of a dollar. The strict parenting style of my stepmom helped me more than the laid-back style my dad and mom used. I love them all, but my stepmom best prepared me for reality outside of childhood.

Answer 10

In between parents..they know when to tell you no..but there close enough for you to be able to ask them questions...if there strict then youll rebel if there laid back you think they dont care.....so the in between where your kinda strict on certain things and then laid back about other things