I have an awesome 4.5 year old son from a previous relationship. My boyfriend has been around for my son since he was 2. They adore each other, and my son thinks the world of my bf, and my bf thinks of my son as his son. Now, I am pregnant with my second child (the first with my boyfriend). I am worried that my boyfriend will love the new baby more than he loves "our" son... or in a different way, or will give the baby more attention or preferential treatment... is anyone else in this situation, or have they been? I'd appreciate some advice!
2006-12-01 07:05:03 · 5 answers · asked by melaniecampbell 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
look even if the first one was his own he will love the 2nd more but just for a some time because babies are adorable, the same will happen to you
but if he honestly loves him, then nothing can change that... so dont worry about it, let things be, and you are the mother of the two of them and you cant prefer one over the other because you think that he doesn't get enough love, be fair to both of them
love doesn't require a blood relationship
2006-12-01 07:22:41 · answer #1 · answered by mars 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 4 year old will almost certainly be treated differently. If you and your boyfriend really care about the 4-year old, then you will do the following...
1. Get married - your children deserve two parents who they know will be involved together until they are grown up. No marriage, there is no real commitment.
2. Your boyfriend should legally adopt the 4-year old.
If your ex-boyfriend is still in the 4-year old's life, you have created a bad situation. The 4-year old will side with his "real father", and you will have tension between you, your son, and your boyfriends. That's not nice for you to choose that for a child.
I may sound mean, but this is a bad situation 99% of the time. When I was a teacher, all the kids who grew up with the changing mommies and daddies were a mess. What makes it worse is that the parents choose these situations for their kids.
Make the best of a bad situation, and no more kids until you are settled in a marriage for a few years. Protect your children from divorce and abandonment first.
2006-12-01 15:31:08 · answer #2 · answered by Polymath 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I disagree with polymath. You have not "created a bad situation." You have brought a man into your life who loves both you and your son. He sounds like a great guy, and you shouldn't worry.
I thought the same thing when I married my husband. I have a 4 year old from a previous relationship and am pregnant with our first child. My husband loves my little girl just as much as he does the baby I'm pregnant with now. He even wants to adopt my four year old.
We are lucky to have found him, and even luckier to add another baby to the family.
Don't worry, Mama. Everything will be okay!
2006-12-01 16:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by tinkerbell24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might, and it's only natural to. I mean, this new baby will actually be a little part of you both and while he loves your son as his own this baby will be a different kind of "special" to him. He sounds like a great guy, I wouldn't worry too much :-) Congratulations on #2!
2006-12-01 15:09:34 · answer #4 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nothing will change i have the same thing been with current hubby since my boy was 2 years.he is now 7. we have had 2 more kids together and nothing has changed at all.. we are in the process of the adoption procedure... he want to be his legal father..
2006-12-01 15:11:49 · answer #5 · answered by Jackson 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋